simple thoughts

I want a dog and other thoughts

2012-01-15T09:36:00.002-05:00

One of the realities that we face living in Detroit is that our world can be a dangerous place. I tend to underestimate the dangers around me. I think it is good to not live in fear, but it is also good to be aware of my surroundings and admit we have chosen to live in a rough place. There have been a couple Incidents lately in our neighborhood (which I won't mention because my dad reads my blog!) and it has caused me to rethink getting a dog. I have wanted a dog for a long time because I love animals and I think the boys would enjoy it too. However, dogs are a lot of work.
1. They shed- must get brushed, floors need vacuumed, must take note of allergic friends
2. They poop- must get potty trained and then we have to pick it up
3. They need exercise- I would have to walk it (which I would love) but in the rain, snow, and heat ??
Those three reasons are enough for anyone to reconsider the decision, but with 3 kids so young it makes me think it might be too much. The bests reason I have to want a dog is for safety. People in Detroit are scared of dogs and so are less likely to break in your house or do anything else if you have a dog- the only criteria being that it barks.
Often I struggle with knowing if those three obstacles are worth our safety.

So the other day I was reading Ezra 8 and I was so encouraged. To understand these verses you'll need a little context- basically Ezra was chosen to lead a group of exiles living in Babylon to their home in Jerusalem.

There, by the Ahava Canal, I proclaimed a fast, so that we might humble ourselves before our God and ask him for a safe journey for us and our children, with all our possessions. 22 I was ashamed to ask the king for soldiers and horsemen to protect us from enemies on the road, because we had told the king, “The gracious hand of our God is on everyone who looks to him, but his great anger is against all who forsake him.” 23 So we fasted and petitioned our God about this, and he answered our prayer.

I am not suggesting that God will protect us because He protected His people during this time- but I am suggesting I should have the same faith as Ezra. This passage was such an encouragement that we don't need to trust in armies of people or in my case-dogs, but in the Living God. Now we can have things that we use as securities- dogs, alarm systems, locked doors- but we must not turn to those things for gratitude- we must be thankful to God.
Because it seems like such a commitment and responsibility to add another "needy" thing to my life right now I sense God reminding me that safety and protection come from Him and to burden myself with a sense of "security" would be sinful.
The Lord will protect us- be it from dangers of people or dangers of Satan's lies- that's not to say I won't ever experience harm- its just to say my trust needs to be in God and not in things.

It's so cool when God uses ancient scripture to remind me to trust in Him daily.

Christians- examine your life.

2012-01-13T09:27:00.002-05:00

How many of you out there pluck your eye brows? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?

Well I do- and I am convinced I am not alone.

David and I are getting ready to go on a nice little vacation to Arizona and so it is essential that I whip out the tweezers and magnifying mirror BEFORE getting on the airplane- because it is important to look your best when flying!

So first I had to find my tweezers and mirror. Then they proceeded to sit on my dresser for two days because I just couldn't find the time to pluck and when I did I didn't feel like inflicted pain on myself! Soo I waited until the last possible minute to accomplish the task.
While standing in a well lit bathroom I look into the tiny mirror and got ready to pull the first tiny hair when I say to myself, "WOW- this is WORSE than I thought!"

Through this experience I couldn't help but think of how examining my life is a lot like plucking my eye brows.

When I say "examine your life" what I mean is for us as Christians to sit down and accurately take a look at our walk with Christ. Like plucking, first you must find the materials- for me that is my Bible, journal, and quiet place.
To pluck your eye brows you need a good magnifying mirror so that you don't miss those tiny blonde hairs that like to hide! The same is true when examining our life- or our hearts rather- we must get out the mirror that looks into the depths of our hearts- we don't want to miss those things that deserve plucking from our deep, dark hearts.... in Christian talk we call those things- sin. In order to move from the place of sinning in an area of our life to not we have to identify it as in fact- sin. So often I sit down and pull out my heart magnifying mirror and I have the same experience as when plucking- WOW- this is WORSE than I thought!
It is really painful to pull out the tiny hairs from my skin and it is really painful to confess and walk away from sin. I often want to think that I am not so bad and I have it all together- but sometimes I am just as the hypocrites Jesus described in Matthew 15:8 when he said, "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me."

The other thing we must consider is the very act of plucking vs. shaving. When I was about 13 years old I decided it was time to begin getting rid of those tiny little facial hairs that can become the DREADED unibrow (oh the very word makes me cringe!) So I pulled out the shaver and proceeded to shave my eye brows! As soon as my mom discovered this she said, "Adrienne, you really shouldn't shave your eye brows because they will grow back darker and you will have more!"I think the same is true when we consider what it means to examine our hearts. If we choose the easy way out and shave over our sin spots - they may in fact come back deeper, darker, and more! We must pluck those things straight from our hearts! In the Beautitudes Jesus is talking about how our hearts are more important than just upholding laws- For example- Murder- it's not enough to avoid killing someone- but we must not even go to worship God if we are quarreling with someone- first we must go and resolve the issue! Adultery- it's not enough to avoid having sex outside of marriage- but to even look at someone lustfully is adultery of the heart!

He goes on to say, "If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."

The act of plucking- or a genuine confession of sin and repenting- or turning away from what you just confessed is LIFE!

Socrates had it right when he said:

"An unexamined life is not worth living."

But John said it better when he wrote, 9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

In order to confess our sins we must examine our hearts to know what those sins are!

So let's find those tweezers and magnifying mirrors and pluck all that keeps us from pursuing Christ while remembering that it will be painful (only for a moment), but the end result will be recognition of our sinful hearts and hopefully greater devotion to the One who makes us pure and clean.

Bentleyisms

2012-01-05T14:13:00.003-05:00

When I go into the boys' room in the morning to get them up I have a specific way to do things to eliminate chaos. If Lily is awake I get her diaper changed and dressed first and lay her on the bed hoping she'll be content. Then I get Clayton up- changed and dressed. Finally, I get my menace up and do the same. By the time I get to Bentley Lily is usually ready to be held and a bit fussy. So was the story this morning... so I picked up crying Lily and laid her next to Bentley- head to head- and she nestled up to his face and he turned to her and kissed her on the head. She stopped crying and laid there next to him while I got him ready- totally content. It was so beautiful. :)

While Bentley has some adorable characteristics he also is a complete MENACE! So I took the boys to my friend Ann's house so I could go to my 6 week doctor's appointment. It was so gracious of her to take the boys- she just had a baby girl 3 weeks ago and has 4 other kids at home this week because of break. So she called me while I was driving home (knowing I was headed her way) and asked how close I was... "Close," I responded.... but WHY was she asking!
"Oh I will just leave him so you can see what he did." Oh no.

Well, Bentley turned on the bath water and got in the tub fully clothed.

the end.

ACCEPTANCE!

2011-12-28T14:43:00.004-05:00

So you may remember the preschool dilemma I had written about previously.

So GOOD NEWS.

I called to see if the local public school, Marcus Garvey, had a spot in their ECDD classroom. They don't.

So then I called to see if he is on the waiting list at the private preschool in midtown for next year. Soo.... the director said he could start NOW because a family moved away. I couldn't believe it!!! I hung up the phone and asked David what we should do- financially can we afford it?

After some thought and consideration we decided to go for it! I am SOOO excited. He'll go Tuesdays and Thursdays from 8:30 AM- 4 PM. It is going to be such a great opportunity for me to have special time with Clayton (and Lily) and also allow him to be in a classroom with typical developing children.

This is SOOOO great!

To read about the preschool click here.

He's really good at using the tool set we bought Clayton for his birthday!

Here he stacked the horses on top of each other. He LOVES horses.

I think this BIG BROTHER is ready to enjoy a couple days without me. Bitter. Sweet.

on showering... and the lack there of!

2011-12-28T14:15:00.003-05:00

I have been taking care of the three kids all on my own successfully for over a week now! Now that Lily is five weeks old she is much more predictable. She's usually waking up to eat once a night between 2 and 5 and then again between 5 and 8. During the day she eats about every 3 hours. The boys already had a consistent schedule so I am just trying to work her around them. It's really not so bad unless everyone wants something at the SAME time... then there's some crying.... but hey- we're all surviving...so far!

I am soooo thankful that David's mom came for a week and then my mom was here for 2 weeks helping. It really gave me the opportunity to enjoy Lily while knowing the boys were having a blast with their grandmas. I was able to sleep in, have meals prepared, avoid excessive cleaning and just allow my body to heal. What a GIFT!

So even though emotionally we are doing great adjusting there are a few things that don't happen regularly.

1. Showering. It is impossible to find time to shower! I either have to get up at 5 AM or go at 11 PM when Lily is down! During the boys' nap Lily is often awake and not contented enough to sit in her bouncy seat while I get in the shower...(turns out babies aren't usually contented awake and not being held!) soooo I usually have to wait until David gets home to dump the kids on him while I find my 5 minutes of peace under hot water....:)

2. Cleaning. I am still playing catch up from the past five weeks! Also, with the holiday celebrations it was enough to clean up after a party, let alone clean for the sake of cleaning!

3. Creative cooking. We are eating... and even healthy things! However, I just can't get myself to spend a lot of time in the kitchen playing with new recipes... luckily I have an entire stock pile of things I love to make... but it's so fun to try new things!!! Tonight we are eating a Creole recipe of Red Beans and Rice that I have going in the crock pot. I LOVE the crock pot!!

4. Leaving the house. Turns out getting 3 hooligans out the door in the freezing cold weather is a LOT of work!! So I think we'll just stay in as often as we can!!

So here's my final thought-

Even though there are limitations in my day I have great joy in being with my children. I LOVE them dearly! We have sooo much fun together. I love hearing them laugh and watching them learn.
I find it frustrating when people make comments about the time commitment I have in raising these 3 young children- and the amount of work it takes. David is working 80 hour work weeks as a resident and people find it applauding- he's got a "real" career. I have two little mess making toddlers and one infant and all I get are stares and, "Wow, you must be busy." Why is it that raising children, keeping a tidy home, and preparing meals is looked down upon? I did the whole teaching thing and this is SO MUCH better. I wouldn't go back to work if you PAID me! (HA HA!)

So I am looking for words of encouragement and not comments of our crazy life. :) It's true, we are busy... busy enjoying life together. :)

Clayton and I playing outside

Bentley and I enjoying the fire!

Isn't she beautiful!!?!?!

traditions...

2011-12-28T13:10:00.004-05:00

David and I spent a lot of talking through what we want Christmas to be like for our family. Since I blogged about this earlier I thought I should add an update about what we decided to do for our family traditions.

So David and I really enjoy the season of Advent- the 40 days leading up to Christmas Day. Each night we would like to do a family devotion. David's mom gave us felt pieces that you open each night and you put them up on a board to build the nativity scene.
We decided that we are going to have a Christmas tree symbolizing life- the lights symbolizing the light we are supposed to shine as Christ's ambassadors in the world. Ornaments go up and can be used as memories from years past. :) We have a nativity scene made out of wood that we bought in Burundi.

Felt board Nativity Scene

Christmas Eve we would like to celebrate by having a nice fondue dinner- this year we did cheese- gruyere & swiss with bread, broccoli, and green apples. We had sparkling apple cider as well. It was delicious! We opened presents on Christmas Eve together and then I went to church with the boys (David went in to work). We didn't really buy many gifts- what was opened were gifts from family! I enjoy buying things for the boys throughout the year as I see necessary. I find great joy in getting them things I know we can do together as I see their interests changing.

Clayton and Lily Christmas Eve

Christmas Day!

Christmas Day we had a delicious breakfast of cinnamon rolls, eggs, and bacon. We enjoyed our time together and then put the boys down for a nap. When they woke up we gave them a healthy snack. Around 6:30 our friends Nate and Kristen Egger along with their daugheters (Aoife and Adelaide) came over and also our other friend Kristin to celebrate Clayton's SECOND birthday! I made carrot cake and he opened a few presents.

When we are with David's family we will continue with their traditions, which are great! This is what we'll do when it's just the 5 of us. :)

The boys enjoying their fireman hats!

CHRISTMAS CARD 2011

2011-12-25T20:23:00.000-05:00

To our beloved family and friends,

Greetings to you from Detroit! It's a beautiful day here- there is a blanket of snow on the ground and I am cozied up with a little girl next to the fireplace. It is with great joy that I reflect on what God has done in our lives this past year. The Lord has graciously provided us in every need - that's not to say everything has gone the way I wanted- in fact it didn't, but God has allowed us to see His plan is better.

As many of you know we spent 6 weeks in Africa so David could work in a rural hospital in Kibuye, Burundi. That experience was the most challenging thing I have ever done! As I reflect back I am able to see how God worked through our lives in so many ways. The boys were often very sick- Bentley even had malaria- the greatest killer of children in the region. We lived among the poorest in the world- revealing to us the great needs of people and even more so the need for a Savior. God provided us the opportunity to go and see a place that needs more doctors and teachers in the medical school in Bujumbura. We prayerfully wonder if He'll bring us back someday. The trip to Africa changed us- for me it was a wake up not to romanticize poverty, Africa, or being a missionary, but such things are difficult and require complete strength in the Lord. For David, it planted the seed that he has the opportunity and obligation as a physician to help people- whether in inner city Detroit or remote Africa- or perhaps another place- he wants to go where he is needed.

In March we opened the letter every medical student anxiously awaits for revealing to us where we'd spend the next four years. Secretly. I still hoped it would say Phoenix, AZ, but it was no surprise to read David matched his first choice in the Internal Medicine and Pediatric program at Detroit Medical Center. God has provided us with a great church, solid group of friends, and a place to live. We are still in the process of buying this house- but are so thankful to be living in it. We are buying it with our friends Scott and Kristen. We enjoy living in community for many reasons- we don't get lonely, we share expenses, it allows for God to reveal our selfishness thus giving us the opportunity for repentance, and finally it grows us as a family in Christ.

We are continually working to get to know our neighbors and seeking creative ways to share the love of Christ. As I reflect on the people who have joined our church in the past year I am reminded of the amazing transformations that have occurred- people have repented from past abortions, drugs sold/used, men and women have turned from prostitution, marriages have been restored, children are being introduced to a God who loves them, and the list goes on and on. Our church is a discipleship- based ministry so if you are a member you are in a one on one discipleship relationship with someone who is praying for you and walking alongside you as you grow in Christ. With all that encouraging news we are pleading for your prayers as well! It is a battle in this dark city. We see women in abusive relationships, absent men, children dropping out of school, poverty, and lots of generational wounds. We have come across some difficult obstacles lately. Racism still reigns in Detroit. We are a majority white church in a majority African American neighborhood and people are harassed for joining us because of skin color. Also we strive to be a church body that is vulnerable and open about our situations (both past and present) and we find that people are so ashamed of their pasts and current situations that they leave because they don’t want people in their business. These obstacles are greater than we can bear on our own- we need Christ to change hearts. Would you join us in praying for spiritual change in this community? This is God’s city and His people- and our message is that God has NOT forgotten this place. And we long to be part of the change in this small section of Detroit.

Africa and Detroit are reminders to me of Christ's arrival and what that means for us today. We celebrate with great joy the season of Advent as a family. The expectation, anticipation, preparation, and longing for a Savior. This year has really taught us what it means to long for Christ's arrival. We’ve never known hunger, destitute poverty, or disease and living among those who have and do has shown us desire for “all things new”.

Finally, we’d like to introduce the newest member of our family, Lillian Elizabeth. She was born 11.23.11 at 9:54 PM weighing 6 lbs 11 oz. We gave her the name Lillian (Lily) as a reminder from Matthew 6 where Jesus tells us not to worry telling us He clothes the lilies of the field- how much more will He take care of us? Her name was the theme of our lives in 2011 and can be a continued reminder to us to trust in the Lord for all things!
Lovingly,

David, Adrienne, Bentley, Clayton, and Lillian

The answer to everyone's question

2011-11-29T03:31:00.002-05:00

As it turns out people are very curious to know how many kids we plan to have. In their defense this is my 3rd baby in 3.5 years- so there's no judgment !! So just to put all those worried about a population problem or a Crawford family meltdown or any other thing- rest assured we are not like the Duggar family!! We have decided to enjoy these 3 children for a few years before thinking about more ;). I've got my sweet Bentley (all in his own class!) my sporty boy and sweet baby Lillian.....

on the meaning of a little girl's name

2011-11-26T16:50:00.003-05:00

So once we had a girl it was time to pick a name. We had about 15 names that we liked, but nothing we had settled on. Originally (when I was pregnant with Bentley) our name was Elizabeth Grace, but for many reasons I didn't want to do it anymore.

The morning Lily was born I was reading my Bible on the couch while drinking my coffee. I read this passage from Matthew 6:

25 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

While I was reading it I couldn't help but remember how I had loved the name Lillian- I love that it can be shortened to Lily too. So I was reading that passage and just reminding myself that I shouldn't worry about all the things I worry about. I love the beauty of a field of lilies- I love the image that is painted here by Christ that God painted that field of lilies and they're just flowers- how much more does he love us and paint the story of our lives?
So we've named our daughter Lillian as a reminder to not worry and to trust in the Lord for our needs- to seek Him and His righteousness knowing that He will tenderly and perfectly provide for our needs. We hope that her name will spur you on to remember the same is true of you and how much you are loved by your Creator- the perfect painter of the lilies. :)

Elizabeth is David's mom's name. We like to include family into our names when we can. (Lily is actually my great great grandmother's name and David's grandmother's aunt who she liked very much!) When we think of David's mom- we think of a woman who has an enormous amount of faith and trust in the Lord. Fear plays no role in her decisions to carry out the Lord's work. I pray that Lillian will know this about her grandmother and will also have a great trust in her Lord and Savior.

on the birth of a little girl

2011-11-26T10:48:00.003-05:00

Everyone is always interested in the birth story so I'll just go ahead and it put it on here- if you aren't interested, then don't read this post! Don't sorry- there's nothing gross. :)

A little history- both boys were born the day after my 38 week appointment. However, I was 3-4 cm dilated at that appt with them.
Monday afternoon she was still breech, but had flipped by evening- so I bounced on the yoga ball for an hour or so.

Tuesday I had a doc appt and found out I was still a cm- but that baby was head down!

Wednesday morning I woke up to pee and went back to bed and felt a contraction that was a little stronger than the normal braxton hicks- but the real clue was that I hadn't had any other contractions through the night (at least that woke me up) which told me this might be different too. So I laid there for a half hour and they kept coming and then I started timing them.... 6 min apart-then 4-5 min- So I had my coffee, read my Bible- still coming- started laundry- cleaned the kitchen- vacuumed the living room- still coming. (Thankfully the boys slept in until after 8 AM so I could do so many things!!) I called David and told him if they were still coming I'd meet at the hospital around 10 AM. Then I called my back up babysitter, Kristen Egger to let her know she might be needed! All the while I am still worried that they are going to just go away and I will look like a fool!
David ended up coming home because he either needed to leave the hospital then or stay through the shift which would end around 9 PM. So I finished up loose ends- got the boys taken care of and we drove to the hospital.

We arrived around 10 AM and they determined I was 3-4 cm and would keep me since I had tested positive for Group B Strep and needed the antibiotics. Around noon they started the first round of antibiotics and David and waked the halls of the hospital. The nurse just checked for baby's heart rate every half hour. Around 3:30 they started round 2 of antibiotics. At 4 they checked me and I was about 5 cm and so she broke my water. Hutzel Hospital is a major hospital in Detroit and receives many patients who don't receive prenatal care so they have a ton of rules due to having so many high risk patients. So after they broke my water they didn't let me get out of bed until baby Lillian was born at almost 10 PM. First we watched a little tv, then we turned off all the lights and I listened to music from my phone (love pandora!!) Then around 7:30 I had everything off so I could concentrate through the contractions. The doctor checked me and I was a 7. I was a little discouraged because usually I show up at the hospital at 7 cm! From there things were very painful, but David was such a champ! He totally helped me breathe through each contraction and by 9:40 I was ready to push. It took about 4 contractions- the doctor was sooo amazing. She didn't break down the bed or put on the whole "deliver the baby" garbs on- she just sat next to me on the bed and let me push her out on my side. She said, "Now when you push her out I am going to set her right on your chest, OK?!" That was probably the most encouraging part of the night- knowing she was going to be here so soon. It was so chill- quiet, dark, and fairly calm. Once baby was out I sat up and looked and announced, "It's a girl! We have a girl! Oh my gosh you're a girl!" The doctor put her right on my chest where they cut her cord. They let me nurse her pretty much right away as well. She is a great eater.
At the time it seemed like the longest day of my life and I thought it was harder than the boys- but looking back it actually wasn't so bad. God answered so many prayers for us- that she would turn from breech to vertex, that she would come while David had 4 days off, and that I would get the antibiotics in so we wouldn't have to worry about if she contracted the GBS.

I feel so overwhelmed with joy to have this sweet baby girl. I didn't realize how badly I wanted a girl until she arrived.

Thanks for your thoughts and prayers leading up to the birth of our daughter. :)

This picture was taken soon after she was born.

oh detroit

2011-11-22T20:17:00.004-05:00

So David and I belong to a church here called Mack Avenue Community Church . We've been attending for almost 4 years now. One of the things I love about our church is the commitment for members to a specific zip code of Detroit (48214). When you're looking at a decaying city of 143 sq miles you can't possible reach everyone- so we focus in on a specific area. I really like this because it feels like we can be part of change in a specific community for a large group of people. Our church does several large outreaches a year in attempt to reach out to our neighbors and help fill needs in this community. On Saturday we did our annual Thanksgiving Outreach called Boxes of Love. In each box of love is a large turkey and several boxes or cans to make a Thanksgiving dinner. We then meet together and go out in groups to deliver the boxes. David and I have criticized this outreach a couple times because we wonder if it encourages the cycle of poverty and waiting for people to do things for you. However, after our time Saturday I was reminded of how much I love this specific outreach. This year David and I were given the opportunity to go out together (often we split up to go with people who aren't from our church, but want to serve with us- but this year we didn't really have many from outside of our church helping). The first home we went to was our old neighbor from the VDP, Cleo and her adult daughter with cerebral palsy, Angie. Cleo and Angie live on the third floor of a home in a one bedroom/bathroom tiny apartment. Angie is confined to a wheel chair and in order to leave the house she must scoot down each stair while Cleo carries her wheelchair. Cleo has never allowed any of us into her home because she is embarrassed. On Saturday I convinced her to let me and David up! I was so excited! Upon entering we quickly realized that she is a bit of a hoarder- meaning to get around the apartment you must go through the paths that she has created for walking. Everything else is boxes and bags halfway up to the ceiling. Angie has a small room and Cleo has created a nook for herself in the living room. Going up to their apartment reminded me of the condition of Detroit. I see the burned out/boarded up houses all over- I see the prostitutes on the corners- the men hanging around the corner liquor stores- but it's rare that I am in the home of someone I care about who is from this community. The home smelled a bit like a hospital- a little like urine. Yet their joy for us visiting was overwhelming. I doubt they've had a visitor other than a social worker.... ever. We spent time talking and Cleo expressed her desire to find people to spend Thanksgiving with- at that point I wasn't ready to commit to guests because of the timing of this baby. As our time came to an end I asked if we could pray for them- as I was praying for them to find a better home for the two of them where Angie wouldn't have to climb stairs and for their relationships to better as Angie admitted to be mean and angry Cleo started sobbing. She expressed her loneliness and fear that Angie won't be taken care of when she's gone. It broke my heart. We have had frequent conversations with the Selles about our desires to connect with people from the community and be more hospitable- and here God revealed to me 2 women who are desperately looking to be cared for. Sometimes I am always looking for someone new to care for rather than taking care of the people God has already provided. You see people are messy- their needs are greater than what I can meet- their personalities aren't always compatible- their awkwardness is burdening- it would be easier to start a whole bunch of new relationships rather than follow through on the ones I have. After some thought and prayer we decided to go ahead and plan Thanksgiving even though the baby could still put a kink in our plans. :) So I called up Cleo and invited her and Angie to come over for a Thanksgiving meal on Thursday with our friends the Eggers and a single man from our church who usually eats pork and beans from a can on Thanksgiving. Her response- tears.

Here's an old picture of Angie when we bbq'd on the sidewalk- the best thing we ever did to begin connecting with neighbors!

So the next day David and I were walking to church when we saw smoke billowing from a house a couple blocks away. We were gonna take a bit of a walk anyway so we followed the smoke. We found a house burning to the ground and spreading to the house next door. A neighbor told us the original fire was started by some drug addicts who were using the abandoned house, but the one that it was spread to is owned by an elderly woman. We watched the homes burn for about 10 minutes and then walked to church- when we left the woman's roof was caving in.

our latest walking device to keep the kids insulated from the cold. (I found it used on craigslist- and we hadn't used it as a stroller yet- turns out it's perfect for rainy or cold weather!

a local liquor store near our house- right near the house fire.

It's true that their are needs in every community- the affluent communities have lonely people looking for friends and there are drug problems- but the needs in the inner cities of this country are far more apparent, deeper, and shameful. Abandoned homes in Detroit are perfect for the homeless, the user, and the abuser- they host a variety of problems and the need for them to be torn down is urgent. Cleo and Angie should be able to get housing that is suitable for Angie's disability, but for some reason she keeps getting rejected. I don't know how to change these circumstances, but not leaving is a demonstration that I am willing to try to fight for the injustices in this country. I'll tell you it's easy to live in Detroit and not engage with the problems and I have to daily remind myself to reach out to people I don't really feel like interacting with.

A reminder of the serious fun we have in this city:

the waiting game

2011-11-18T14:19:00.005-05:00

Well we've officially reached the point of serious anticipation and excitement to meet baby!I got my stomach flu out of the way last Sunday and my dad was here to visit (both happened days before Clayton was born too!!) David worked last night and will be home tomorrow, Sunday, and Monday until 7 PM. He'll be home Tuesday after 11 AM and then works a shift on Wednesday... then he's off Thurs-Sun. for Thanksgiving. So guess what we would like to happen!?!?! I am 38 weeks on Sunday and ready! Baby is back to being head down and I think we may have narrowed down some actual possibilities for a girl's name. (We've had a boy's name the whole pregnancy). I finished painting the bathroom yesterday (just spot painting that needed to be done) and hung some pictures. We have done tons of projects around the house- cleaning out storage areas, deep cleaning, organizing, etc... Cradle is sitting empty and waiting. Tonight is my last night out with the girls! We are going to California Pizza Kitchen for dinner at Partridge Creek Mall and then shopping... well, probably mostly window shopping for me. ;) I've completed my entire "to do before baby" list!! (Well, there is ALWAYS more to do... but you get the idea). I think the kicker is David's excitement to meet baby- I tend to be ready for anything at anytime and he tends to sit back and have more patience... which he still has- but he's definitely ready too! The only thing I am going to miss about being pregnant will be sleep. Currently I still get sleep- if not at night I can catch a quick snooze while the boys sleep.

So be excited with us to meet this little gift! And if you know how crazy David's schedule usually is you might be compelled to join us in praying baby comes real soon so that we can enjoy this week as a family of 5. Or maybe we'll just enjoy it as a family of 4 for a bit longer. ;)

Here's some pics because it's not a real blog entry without some fun photos!!!

Bentley and I had fun with the camera the other day!

We had a great time at the local school a block away. The boys love going to the park!

The cradle baby will sleep in for awhile. I think David's grandmother slept in this crib. She definitely put her dolls in it as a little girl and the Crawford kids slept in. Totally not to code, but so cute and has been a real treasure for all our kids.

The boys LOVE to read their books.

Can you believe they're gonna be BIG brothers??? Poor little baby might inquire to stay inside longer knowing what's waiting for him/her on the outside!

I love this picture of David and Bentley from Eastern Market a few weeks ago.

oh the things that will never happen to you...

2011-11-10T13:12:00.002-05:00

So I am just about 37 weeks into this pregnancy and I went in today for my Group B Strep test and to find out if I'm dilated at all. As the doctor was checking me she started applying a lot of pressure on my upper abdomen- something I don't remember with the boys... when she was done she looked at me and said, "Adrienne, I feel toes. I think your baby is breech." Fortunately the office has an u/s machine there so they did a quick scan and sure enough baby is feet first. After the u/s they took me to the doctor's office so I could have a quick consult about what we do now. Fortunately the fluids are high so baby has plenty of room to turn around. Also, since having 2 normal deliveries we know there isn't anything structurally wrong with my uterus so the baby should flip. None of the 10 doctors in the practice do breech deliveries- so that's out of the question. (It makes me too nervous to attempt at this point anyway). My doctor said I can do research online as to all the things you can try to do to flip the baby, but to just keep being active and hope it flips. If baby doesn't flip by 39 weeks, we'll schedule a c-section. There's a lot of drama for me around that too though because I was hoping to have the baby just before Thanksgiving as David has four days off. The other thing the doctor can do is try to flip the baby around 39 weeks for me, but it causes a lot of stress to the baby and apparently is very painful for the Mom and you have to do it in the hospital because if the baby's heart rate goes up too high or drops she'll have to deliver immediately. I am not sure if that's something I really want to do. The other difficult thing in having a c-section at Hutzel Hospital is that when they deliver the baby they take him/her to another part of the hospital for the monitoring and all that while the doc sews me up. Bentley was whisked away at birth because he couldn't get the fluid out of his lungs and by the time they brought him back 2 hours later he was completely out. Clayton was delivered quickly placed right on my chest and nursed immediately. He never left my side. I know that babies are only alert for that first hour before they go into their deep deep sleep and I'd really like that time with my baby. I don't want it to go to another part of the hospital... David will get to go (as he did with Bentley) and I know what it feels like to be alone in a room after finally meeting the very baby I've waited 9 months to hold! It is NOT fun!

Having a c-section is a major surgery with a recovery time of 8 weeks.... have you ever seen me with my boys!?!?!?? That's seriously the hardest thing for me.... I don't want to not be able to run around and play with them. With Clayton I was feeling great at 3 weeks post delivery. It would require me to depend on a lot of help... something I am not good at receiving well. I like to do my own thing. ;)

So having a breech baby is something that happens to other people.... the feeling is so surreal. I am seriously 100% out of control of the situation. There's nothing I can do but trust the Lord for the uncertainties.

So yeah, join me in this new journey. Pray for me as it's a difficult diagnosis.

Thanks!

on christmas

2011-11-04T14:29:00.002-04:00

For the last couple years I've been thinking a lot about Christianity and why we do what we do. I definitely take my faith seriously and find myself questioning pop culture often. For you to understand the process I should back up and share some of my memories. For starters, I love Christmas. I love the food, the music, the traditions, and in moderation I even love the gifts. As a little girl my mother gave me a doll (from Santa) that was unwrapped and waiting for me under the tree each Christmas morning. I don't have a lot of memories with both my mom and dad- mostly I remember leaving cookies out for Santa, opening 1 gift Christmas Eve, having the doll from Santa, and then opening gifts under the tree (once Mom and Dad had their coffee!! When my dad got remarried we celebrated Christmas a bit differently. Santa wrapped the gift under the tree and it was usually the most expensive gift. Alicia and I were showered with gifts. We always took a picture after everything was opened- I have many a picture with my little body surrounded by gifts. Since marrying David we have spent Christmas in Nogales most years. His family reads the story of Jesus from the Bible (from Luke I think). We open stockings then have a delicious breakfast- clean up and return to the living room to open gifts one by one. With 5 kids + me we now draw names for gifts.
One of the things I have observed about Christmas is the tensions and anxiety that many experience as they prepare their home for the holiday season. I've seen many homes become places of stress as the right food is bought, table linens found, rooms cleaned, and decorations go up in time. Relationships in families are strained for various reasons- maybe a child is bringing home a new boyfriend/girlfriend- maybe families are uniting for the first time- there are all kinds of things that people stress over! Did I buy enough gifts? Will they like my gift? Will we have time to do all these things? Do I have the money to buy this or that? Pull out the credit cards and swipe away- we'll pay it back later. As Christians we say Christmas is about the birth of our Savior, but the way we celebrate it makes we wonder if the two are related at all.
I have been challenging my Christian readers (and friends who have to deal with my opinions on a regular basis!) to think about the gospel and what it actually means. I have encouraged people to become aware of justice issues, care about the poor, and change our lives entirely from being worldly minded to Biblically minded for a couple years. And I think it's time to attack Christmas.
About 4 or 5 years ago David asked his family not to buy him a single gift and spent the morning watching everyone open their present at his parent's place. I thought he was crazy! Who doesn't want to indulge in the "joy" that is Christmas?!?!? He has been pushing me for a few years to change how we do things. I have made small changes. We buy very little, stick with a tight budget, give money away, and spend much time critiquing the season in general. As our boys are getting older and will start to begin the season this year he has been really challenging me to think about what kinds of things we want to do as a family each year and what things we should let go of. I want you all to know that this is a very difficult thing for me. I think he is right- and have agreed with his criticisms for a few years, but have not been willing to admit his right nor willing to give up some of the traditions I love so much.
So this morning he had me watch this short video:

Well the video is quite convincing that Christians should consider how they are celebrating Christmas and maybe even change their traditions altogether. Before you call me the Grinch finish my looonnngg post!

So let's look at the history of Christmas. I found this information from this site.

Christmas is not really a Christian holiday. It used to be called Saturnalia, a festival where people would worship the sun god. Christmas trees actually symbolize a male penis. The white holly symbolized the sun god's semen. Saturnalia was a celebration of fertility and sex.

However, the Roman Catholic church decided to hijack the celebration and mix it in with Christianity.

So instead of asking why non-Christians celebrate a Christian holiday, you should be asking why Christians celebrate what is essentially a non-Christian holiday.

There is no mention of Santa Clause in the Bible. There is no mention of flying reindeer in the Bible. There is no mention of Christmas trees in the Bible. The Bible doesn't even tell followers to celebrate Jesus's birth (although it does say you should have a day for his death).

So why do we try to "take back Christmas" when it sounds like it was never a religious holiday?

Why do we give gifts?
Historically gifts were given to remember the three gifts the magi brought to "baby" Jesus in Bethlehem. Is that why we give gifts today? I don't. I give gifts because it's what you do on Christmas!

Why do we have Santa Claus?
Read wikipedia.

Why do we have stockings? I found this story that explains stockings (which relates to Santa Claus:
The Legend of Christmas Stockings

One well accepted legend tells about a kindly nobleman whose wife had died of an illness leaving the nobleman and his three daughters in despair. After losing all his money in useless and bad inventions the family had to move into a peasant's cottage, where the daughters did their own cooking, sewing and cleaning.

When it came time for the daughters to marry, the father became even more depressed as his daughters could not marry. At this time the only way a woman could marry was if she had a dowry (money and property given to the new husband's family).

One night after the daughters had washed out their clothing they hung their stockings over the fireplace to dry. That night Saint Nicholas, knowing the despair of the father, stopped by the nobleman's house. Looking in the window Saint Nicholas saw that the family had gone to bed. He also noticed the daughters stockings. Inspiration struck Saint Nicholas and he took three small bags of gold coins from his pouch and threw them one by one down the chimney and they landed in the stockings.

The next morning when the daughters awoke they found their stockings contained enough gold for them to get married. The nobleman was able to see his three daughters marry and he lived a long and happy life. Word quickly spread of this good fortune and soon people all through the village were hanging their stockings by the fire in hopes that Saint Nicholas would leave them treasures also.

From this was born the legend of Santa coming down the chimney and placing gifts in children's Christmas Stockings.

A couple thoughts so far:

1. Christmas is a melting pot of traditions. It's some solstice paganism, some folklore, some Bible stories, some consumerism added by the mass market, and some influence of each individual family's tradition.

2. At the very least did you read about how Nicholas was: famous for his generous gifts to the poor,

That was the whole story behind the man and the stockings.

So here we are...

spending 450 BILLION dollars on gifts for one season. We should really be ashamed of ourselves- Christians or not.

Look at this link and compare the amount of money needed to help aid in some of the greatest problems of our world regarding people.

So here's where I rant and then I am done. :)

The fight to preserve Christianity from being sold to the market as a religion that allows you to do your own thing while millions of Christians suffer from the lack necessities like clean water, adequate housing, food and nutrition, and medical care needs to be brought into the bright lights of every football stadium in this country! How we can really go out evangelizing wanting people to believe in a God who created and loves each individual person while we blatantly drive obnoxiously large vehicles, heat massive houses, allow food to rot before we get a chance to eat it, spend massive amounts of money on unnecessary things, and ignore the outright injustices in THIS country like LACK OF EDUCATION for kids in at the very least DETROIT which leads to people not being able to have a job, know how to feed their children properly, which leads to obesity, lack of decent housing, dependence on the "system" for food and medical care which leads to lack of motivation to even try because once you get paid $8 an hour you lose those benefits the system offered you and now you are even more poor than you were before you had a job.

Changing how we celebrate Christmas will not change the massive needs in this world in a year. But changing our hearts and how we live on a regular basis will. Seriously. If you knew the small things that people are doing around this city and every other decaying urban or rural city in this country- that are actually changing people's lives you'd be encouraged to join the fight.

Jesus did not come to save you from your drama. He came to save you from yourself and all the things that pull us away from caring for one another.
So let's start being generous.... This year. And every year. In every month. Not just with our money, but ALSO with our time.

Let's start believing in a God who deeply cares about the poor. And not just making sure they have a turkey on November 24th, 2011, but that they have a meal for their family 365 days a year. Let's actually be the reincarnation of the living God while we have the chance.

And may you uphold me to this standard because my flesh wants to do things the way I always have because I love Christmas and the way it makes me feel.... but God has called me to something higher.

Let's crucify the ugliness of Christmas and celebrate the joy of the Cross.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

Oh and I think there is one member of our family that would like Christmas to be about him anyway. :) (Just to add some humor!)

Brothers and other random thoughts

2011-10-04T14:32:00.005-04:00

Bentley and Clayton have really become best friends. It's so fun having the two so close together. They like to copy everything the other one does. Yesterday Clayton accidentally hit his head on the fridge so Bentley purposefully bonked his head on the fridge. Today Bentley tripped and fell at the zoo so Clayton threw himself onto the ground! The copy each other all day long.... the good and the bad!

I really enjoy having 2 little boys that are so different. Having a typical child like Clayton so close in age to Bentley really has helped me not struggle with Bentley's delays. I think if it were just me and Bentley I'd always be comparing him the kids his age. Clayton allows me to experience the development of a typical child in the time frame that one would expect, while Bentley allows me to treasure each stage of development much longer. With Bentley I don't feel like my boys are growing up too fast... I feel like I get to enjoy it all!

It will be interesting to see the differences in the boys as they grow up in our home. How will Bentley's Down syndrome make him different from his brother? And I wonder what is Bentley's personality that would be there anyway. How will having a brother with special needs change Clayton? Will he be more compassionate, loving, and accepting? I think the answer is yes... but obviously he doesn't show these characteristics yet.

Obviously I think Bentley is a gift to our family. God has given us a child that will forever change how we view people. I never spent time around people with special needs- I didn't know anyone with Down syndrome. I wonder what it would have been like growing up with a sibling with Down syndrome. As a mother, it has truly encouraged my heart to love and care about Bentley in a special way. Watching Clayton so easily develop while Bentley struggles truly changes me. Bentley fights much harder to do things, while Clayton tends to give up more easily... and the reality is that he can... because in time he will be able to do it too. But for Bentley it is important to push him to try and try and try.

Some people say that children with special needs are angels. This really doesn't have any theological grounding, but I think the idea is that God gives us people to shape our hearts to know Him more intimately. Surely these children teach us to care for others in a way that would not natural develop. Eventually the sweet infant turns into a child and then grows into an adult--- the cuteness of the needs eventually fade away and sometimes the individual becomes much more needy. How does this shape who we are and how we see God? Sometimes people say things like "he suffers from Down syndrome". But I have to ask... is he suffering or are you allowing yourself to suffer through the opportunity to care for someone sacrificially? Perhaps it is an opportunity to become less selfish and see life as one goal to accomplish after another and just take care of each other. I don't see Bentley as a child who suffers. (I would like to say that there are children who suffer from different things, and sometimes I think our choices to continue with medical care far after the family should have let go does promote suffering... but that's a whole other issue... )
I don't think God sees Bentley as a mistake or as a child that He messed up on. I don't know why he gave us Bentley, but I am thankful for him. I do know that having Halie prepared us for Bentley (as a side note).

Sometimes I hear my friends worry that they will have a child with Down syndrome based on their questions about prenatal genetic testing or just based on comments I get on a regular basis. Sometimes it hurts my feelings because it makes me feel like I have an unwanted child. What is about having a child with Down syndrome or special needs that people don't want? Is it the time that you have to put into raising the child? Is it your selfish desires about what your family will look like or what your child will accomplish? Is it just because having typical children is easier? Because here's the thing: I didn't mess up. I didn't drink alcohol or do drugs during my pregnancy. I didn't put my baby at risk. He was just born this way. God knit him together in my womb the same way he knit Clayton. So why would I want a Clayton more than a Bentley? I think that's not a Biblical desire for Christians. Sometimes I think we have all these desires for our families, but God is just asking us for our hearts to be steadfastly devoted to Him and to advancing His Kingdom now. Does Bentley have the ability to do that? Absolutely. So why would I want any other child or have any other desire? I think sometimes Christians have this sort of dual life. Like part of them just raises kids and teaches them to be kind and share and all that- but I know a lot of people who are not Christians and do that too.... and then they go to church and worship God. But I think the life we are given is to be focused on one thing: advancing the Kingdom of God here and now.

I had no idea I had so many thoughts to write about! I just wanted to put up some pictures of the boys. :) I guess after a trip to the zoo with people staring at Bentley got me thinking....

Enjoy the sweet twins. :)

the return to cloth diapers

2011-09-24T08:14:00.002-04:00

As many of you know I faithfully used cloth diapers with Bentley until he was about 17 months and then again with Clayton until he was about 7 months. There are a lot of benefits to cloth diapers. 1. They are cost effective 2. They are much better for the environment 3. They are the "thing to do" now 4. They can be really cute! There are a lot of reasons why people don't use them 1. They create a lot of laundry 2. You end up dealing with a lot more p**p than if using disposables 3. They are inconvenient- bigger diaper bag, more diaper changes, more time consuming

So I took a break for about 18 months and I have been buying disposables. When Clayton was born I was dunking one of Bentley's soiled diaper in the toilet- Clayton was screaming and Bentley was getting into the toilet paper and I just needed to stop. Well, recently I was writing to a friend the benefits of cloth and the most cost effective route to take when I saw that they have this thing that I call a booty sprayer. It allows you to spray down the diaper instead of the traditional dunking! So this got me thinking it might be a good idea to pick up my cloth diapers again. I also have been thinking about potty training and I hear cloth diapering can encourage potty training because the kids don't like to feel the wetness and begin to understand why we use the toilet. Finally, a side comment about how our trash isn't so bad- and that more than half of it was diapers.... I couldn't believe I was causing so much trash! When using disposables I don't change them super often because they do hold a lot of pee without causing a rash.... feel bad for my kids!
So while we were in Portland, I bought the booty sprayer and snappi clips to come home and get started. And yesterday was a success! We made it through the day! I feel very excited.
Also, after dinner Bentley was in his chair and stood up and started grabbing at his pants and whining so I picked him up quickly, told him to "hold it", threw his clothes off throughout the living room and plopped him on the potty- it was a little late for the pee, but the kid p**ped in the toilet!! I couldn't believe it! I am so excited. I hope that he is starting to get this potty training thing. :) I am on a slow progressive route with him rather than the more aggressive potty train in a day idea. I do ask for you to pray for me in the arena of patience as I learn how to communicate potty training. I really don't want to get angry when he doesn't tell me he has to go.

So encourage us in this new endeavor!!

A note to anyone who is interested in cloth diapering:

There are a lot of different options out there in terms of cloth diapers. Many places that sell the different diapers will give you a diaper seminar to learn all the different options.

We choose the cheapest route. We do the classic prefolds with covers.
Initially we only had the proraps. They are the cheapest and most plain. The only bummer is that you have to buy the different sizes, so it actually might not be the cheapest.
I recommend the thirsties duo wrap. You only have to get 2 sizes and they come in cute patterns and covers.

If I had more money and I could do whatever I wanted I would do the bumgenius all in one diaper.

Hope that helps!

this is what I deal with, seriously!

2011-09-13T13:33:00.002-04:00

I was trying to get a picture of myself to put on facebook since everyone like looks a pregnant belly... but my husband kept interrupting my photo session!

lately

2011-09-09T12:54:00.006-04:00

I haven't put up pictures from Bentley's third birthday and our trip to Arizona.... so I guess I better do that!

Helping Daddy in the yard!

At Grandpa and Grandma's house.... getting ready to blow out the candles!

So proud of himself!!!

At the zoo a visit from the Peacock was a highlight!

Clayton loves the zoo!

with Auntie Caroline!

with Uncle Mark!

Bentley in his beloved RAIN BOOTS!

Clayton!

Bentley and friend, Austin. My college roomate, Sarah's older son.

Bentley and Me!

href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-OA6skcQhJJ0/TmpGpKPuPaI/AAAAAAAAH1Y/yN_9DvSMBI4/s1600/DSC_0054.JPG">

Bentley and Clayton on Bentley's birthday!

Chris playing with the boys!

into the wild and thoughts on denial

2011-09-04T21:41:00.002-04:00

So today I watched this movie called Into the Wild and I really liked it. If you haven't seen it and want to without knowing the ending... don't read this post. :) Although I saw it after I knew the ending and I still enjoyed it.

So the movie has a lot of negative criticism because the main character denies society by going "into the wild" of Alaska without a map and ends up dying because he eats a potato root which is very poisonous. Many see the journey to Alaska as a death sentence and don't think he should be viewed in such a heroic light. In my opinion, he did what he did and it sucks that he dies, but I still think the internal struggles that are portrayed are worth examining and writing about. So I am going to do just that.

The thing that really got me thinking about posting a blog was a song that's in the movie called Society. (I will add the Youtube video with lyrics at the end of this post!) The song talks about how society is so greedy and how we won't be really freed until we have it all... like we live in this state of always wanting more and so the peace of not wanting more never arrives. Later in the song there is a powerful section that talks about how wanting less isn't necessarily the answer because your whole set of values is still based on stuff... just having less of it. The song doesn't lead you to an answer of where you should put your focus or attention... but that it definitely shouldn't be on having stuff.
So now that you all get the foundation of my post I can actually articulate my thoughts!

So the movie is based on a true story about a kid who appears to have sincerely struggled with society and the desire to get more and have more. It appears that he lives a simple life managing to save $26,000 through college which he gives to a charity before he goes on his adventure. Before he goes to Alaska, he goes on a 2 year trek around the United States and into Mexico on a voyage to vanish off the map. Many reviews that I read about the movie are people wishing to do that- sell everything they have and go be hippies on the open road.

Before I continue my thoughts I am going to add a story that will help you all understand my story a bit more. :)

So this movie reminded me a lot of my dad who is probably the closest person I know that really is a hippie. When he was 25 he and 3 buddies rode their bicycles (before they had mountain bikes!) from downtown Detroit to La Paz, Bolivia. It took them a year. Around the same time period he also taught English in Taiwan, climbed a bunch of mountains, and started a bike ride that still exists today in California called Sea to Summit. This past year he has ridden over 10,000 miles on his bike throughout the country. I love hearing his stories and it's kind of fun that my dad loves the freedom of the open road. But I also know that it is not a life that is to be romanticized. It's pouring down rain, wet and cold; 100% humidity in 100 degree weather; it's hurrying to the finish before the hurricane gets there; it's loving sleeping on picnic tables; and sometimes really lonely.

So I just want to say that I am proud of my dad for having his adventures and being one who has continually tried to deny society in his own way.... but I also want to offer another way to have the same thoughtful framework without having to deny it all for the open road.

As a Christian, the idea of denying self is pivotal to my faith and signifies my allegiance to Christ. Obviously I fail miserably every day, but desire to keep working at it. One of the greatest things that I long to deny is stuff. As I mentioned earlier, having or not having stuff is insignificant- it's the foundation behind the desire. I must ask myself: why do I want this? What void is it filling?

My desire is to be all consumed with Christ and not desire anything outside Him. When we are consumed with Christ we are able to cast off all the falsities of this life- we are able to find ourselves in Him- knowing that we are walking in light of salvation and working as agents of recreation. In other words, my denial of stuff is a recognition that those things won't fill my voids and won't make me happy. And also that by not spending money on those things I can give more money to aid organizations or churches or people who are in need.

When I think of the movie I can't help but connect the idea of going "into the wild" as a state of mind rather than ditching it all and going to Alaska. Staying in Detroit and choosing to connect with the poor and the struggles here is kind of like my "wild". It's my rejection of society and the American dream. It's my clinging to Christ and the life that I see Him leading our family into. As the main character meets lots of people on his rode journeys- so I long to meet people here and share stories... and most importantly, the love of Christ.

Admittedly, our trip to Africa this year was an attempt to try and go off the grid and deny the desired life.... and seriously it was the most difficult adventure of my life. But I still see the possibility of us returning to Kibuye to continue the work there...both in the hospital and in the church. But even if we never get the chance to return, I know that I don't have to go finding adventure because we are in it... now.

Anyway, I really liked the movie. It made me think a lot about wanting to deny the things that are filling voids... but only because they draw me closer to Christ and not because I want to be a hippie. (That's my struggle!)

So watch the movie and see what you think. And to all my Christian readers out there... let's help one another continue to walk into the life of righteousness.... "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14

on a little boy with glasses

2011-09-02T07:30:00.004-04:00

1.

Bentley graduated from the Early Intervention Program this past spring and was promoted to be part of an ECDD (Early Childhood Developmental Disabilities) classroom. There was a misunderstanding when we did the exit interview in June. I thought they were going to place him in a classroom, but they thought I wanted to put him in a Head Start and not do an ECCDD classroom. So I have been making some calls, but no one knew if he was placed or where, so finally on Monday I went downtown to take to the Special Education department at DPS.... turns out he wasn't placed. The school I wanted him in is less than a mile from our house, but it is full. So they placed him at Outer Drive and Gratiot which is like 5 mi. away and takes 10 min. at least. It is also well located in the Hood. Yes, we live in the Hood, but I know this place and I feel comfortable here... I don't know that area of town.
When I left the building I felt so discouraged. I called the teacher at the school where I want him and she will let me know if a child doesn't show up within 20 days and maybe Bentley can have that spot.
David and I have been very outspoken about our desire to send the boys to the public school because we believe it is a valuable way to be part of transformation and change in this community. I was really looking forward to getting my foot in the door and meeting more families in this community in a setting that is equal- we both are sending our kids to a school- and not me handing out a backpack or a flier- or trying to get to know a person without having anything in common.
We have been praying for God's wisdom in where to send Bentley to preschool for several months. It has been a very long and painful process for me. Don't we all long to send our children to the best schools with the best teachers so that we can help them be the best? Well, I am faced with that in my 3 year old. Research shows that what we do NOW will echo greatly into his future. Well, right now we live in one of the poorest cities with one of the worst educational systems... so what am I supposed to do with that? Trust in the Lord. I hear the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit... Cast all your fears on Him for He cares for you.
So finally I submit to sending Bentley to the local public school and it doesn't even work out! Blah!
So here's what's cool about God and Bentley and Me. God is continually showing me that He is in control of Bentley- perfectly guiding His will for my child's life. I am praying through if God intends for us to keep Bentley home another year. Kristen Selle (who is special ed certified) has offered to work with him one on one 2x a week.
Join us in praying this weekend about preschool (since it starts on Tuesday!) And continue those prayers as we seek the Lord in how to best care for Bentley's education over the course of his life.
I will try to keep you posted.

2.

Bentley has been receiving physical therapy services for about a month at the Detroit Institute for Children (DIC). He has been approved to begin speech and we are waiting to hear back about occupational.
It's interesting because in the DPS school system they didn't see a need for physical or occupational, but at the DIC the therapists have made his needs clear.
He's been receiving the services on our old insurance which I fear we will lose very soon because David has an income and we have new insurance. Our new insurance is in network only and the DIC is probably not considered in network. So you can guess where I am going with this...
I am earnestly praying daily that somehow in some way God is going to work this whole insurance thing out so Bentley can continue to receive the services the DIC has to offer. He is really benefiting from the DIC and I really want to keep him there.
If all goes well, he will be receiving physical therapy once a week for one hour. Speech once a week for a half hour (unless I can get it upped for more) and occupational 2 x a week for 1 hour a session.

3.

As many know, Bentley had a minor surgery scheduled for Monday to open the clogged tear ducts in his eyes. We arrived at the hospital and got all dressed down for surgery- talked to several doctors- the attending anesthesiologist was talking with us when Bentley coughed a very labored mucousy cough. She looked at us and said, "This child is sick and I cannot do surgery. I am sorry." Apparently it is dangerous to put a person under anesthesia with a cold (if you have the choice to wait) and putting a child with Down syndrome under with a cold is even more risky because of his low muscle tone.
Choosing to even do the surgery was a whole process for David and I. We spent most of the weekend in agony over it. David just couldn't decide if he wanted to put Bentley through it- there are severe risks- low risks- but risks. Our friend Matt was over on Saturday and he is an ENT (ears,nose,throat) resident- so his first year is all surgery- It was such a relief to hear from someone who sees several patients a day put under anesthesia... and sees them wake up. He was very comforting. He is going to be a great ENT. :)
So... we decide to go through the surgery and what happens?!!? He can't have it.
At first I was frustrated that it couldn't just be done anyway. But as the day went on I realized that the Lord's Sovereign hand was once again upon our family.

I think God is refining me to trust Him more with my children... especially Bentley. Bentley has so many more needs than Clayton and I go through seasons where it feels like all I am doing is making phone calls and scheduling appointments- These things are good to do, but I have to remind myself that I am not in control of the outcome. I humbly and faithfully am asked to care the needs of my family, but I cannot control the result. This is the reality of every parent. We guide our children in the way of the Lord, but we cannot make them do what we want- and I cannot make others give him what I want him to have.

And so we faithfully do what we can then trust.

How is God refining you?

thoughts of late...mostly about money

2011-08-05T09:05:00.003-04:00

In true "adrienne" fashion I got a group commenting on a facebook status update I posted yesterday that left me wanting to say more.... but not on my facebook page! So my comment and then the responses are as follows:

"Did you know that you can spend $150 on a hairbrush? Seriously? There are seriously people dying of starvation everyday and you can spend Did you know you can spend $150 on a hairbrush??? Seriously? There are seriously people starving to death every day and you can spend $150 on a hairbrush?!? That's ludicrus. Just sayin'.

o
MCP: Remember this is relative, Adrienne. It seems exorbitant to me but to an even poorer person than I, spending $5-15 on a brush might seem frivolous.

o
EM: I had a similar thought on my bike ride downtown this morning as I passed numerous "luxury cars". Talk about a waste of money! But as Monna said, I suppose it is all relative. If you are rich, maybe a $40,000+ SUV seems like no big deal.
o
JC: Maybe if you have hair to your ankles you need this. Or if you have a hair brushing business....which sounds like a good way to spread lice!

o
KR: But you get free shipping so... :)

o
JV: to the idea that it is 'relative'... isn't that really part of the problem with the segregation in this country? that the rich isolate themselves from the poor to the point where they never have to see or experience or care about their suffering and can meanwhile live in a bubble where a $150 hairbrush becomes normal?

o
MCP:‎@JV - there are also rich people who contribute significantly to those in need and still have enough to buy a ridiculously expensive hair brush. I just don't happen to be one of them. LOL.
13 hours ago · LikeUnlike
o
ME: JV- you summed up my feelings so eloquently. Thanks!

I couldn't stop thinking about the comment on relativity last night.I know this is a common thought about money and spending. Money can be such a taboo subject. As long as people are being generous with their money, that's all that matters, right? So if you make $150,000/year and give away $20,000 then you are being more than generous and how you spend the other $130,000 should be up to you... right?

I am just not sure I agree with that. Now before I go on... remember I am talking about the CHRISTIAN... just for clarity.

So we know that all things belong to God.... including our money. And we know that we are to be generous and that "to those whom much is given, much is expected."

So I just wonder if those who make more money aren't supposed to have a greater contribution to poverty, etc..

The reality is that even some of our jobs are not paid equally. And so if you make over 6 figures as a doctor, but my friend makes $40,000 as a teacher.... both are called to be generous, but I think the doctor who makes more money has a greater opportunity to share his/her wealth.

I just get so tired of seeing people drive around really expensive cars or wearing expensive clothing or buying an expensive home and then justifying it. I wonder if you had the opportunity to live among the poverty in Kibuye, Burundi or even Detroit, MI- would you spend your money the same? After watching a child die because his mother couldn't get him to a hospital fast enough on foot- would you really spend your money the same?

I might seem like a pharisee- but I think someone needs to bring up this topic. And the truth is as I am writing this I am not thinking of anyone that I wish would live differently because I get that I don't really know what checks you write in private. But I just want to keep it on our minds and hearts that there are a lot of people in need and there are a lot of organizations in place to help those people. And there is a lot of opportunity to reach out to the needy in your area.

So I urge us to stop justifying our spending (myself included!) and look at how we are spending our money in connection with the condition of our world. Are we ever justified to overspend?

Anyway, thankfully we serve a God who offers us grace through Christ Jesus. So through grace and out of worship may we allow our money to be spent as if we actually believe it's all God's anyway.

Love you all.

Oh and read, "Giving to God" by Mark Allan Powell

on relationships

2011-07-27T21:22:00.002-04:00

Well we are getting settled into our new house. It takes a long time when you know you're gonna be at a place for awhile... I want to find a place for everything to go... and I am definitely NOT there YET!! I absolutely LOVE our house though. I love the lay out. I love the yard. I love that we have space to have people over a lot. These past few days have been so great as people have come over daily and been able to enjoy this place God has provided for us.

However, I do greatly miss our neighbors on Van Dyke Place. We lived there over 2 years and were able to form some really great friendships with people on our block. I remember when we first moved in our friend Matt had everyone in our small group draw a map of their block and write the names of the people who live there. By the time we left I had almost every house named! The Thursday night potlucks allowed us to have deeper friendships with our neighbor Keisha and her kids Kiki, Kimani and Kashila. Even though we are only 1.5 miles away, it seems soooo far! They don't have a car so either we all walk or I drive over there. It has to much more planned than me hearing the kids running around outside and coming out to see them play.

This week we are doing the summer camp at church and Kiki has been walking up her siblings and 2 other neighbor kids daily and volunteering. She has been such a GREAT help! She's 16 and going to be a junior at Martin Luther King High School down the street. Since we have known her so long and so well we have decided to ask her to babysit the boys weekly during our Bible study group and pay her a small amount.

This is really significant for a few reasons. First, I don't trust just anyone with my kids. ;) So for that reason, I am so thankful that God has allowed us to grow close to this family where we are able to offer one another love and assistance. It's not just us moving in and doing this for people, but us moving in and really neighboring and becoming friends with people here. When I first moved to Detroit I had no idea what to expect and if I'd ever be close to anyone because it's such a foreign culture, but God is faithful and we have made some amazing friends. The other significance is in that is just another sign of God's faithfulness and love and ability to transcend people who might not have ever come into contact with one another and join us brothers and sisters in Christ.
I'll try to get a picture of her on here soon!

vacation with my hubby

2011-07-22T16:47:00.001-04:00

David and I had a GREAT time with the boys up North! Here are some pics from our time.

David's graduation

2011-07-22T16:11:00.003-04:00

Here are some pictures from David's graduation! We had a great time! He had a big crew from the family come to support him including his grandma Johnson, Crawford grandparents, Aunt Ginger, Aunt Linda, Uncle Roger, Mom, and then more were able to come join us for the dinner in Mexicantown, Detroit!
What a great day!

on 4th of July

2011-07-05T08:10:00.003-04:00

I am definitely the scrooge of 4th of July. I've never been a into celebrating it. I spent many summers in Spain or out of country somewhere... so I am sure that's part of it.
As much as I love Detroit, I HATE certain holidays here because it literally sounds like a war zone for a few days... and when you're shooting off guns along with fireworks it's not exactly safe. The last 2 nights our neighbors shot off the loudest fireworks I've ever heard until after midnight... David and Scott are working crazy hours and haven't been able to sleep well. Poor guys!
So even though I am the scrooge of 4th of July, I think I am justified. Did you know in 2010 the US spent $952 million dollars on fireworks for 4th of July? So while 8 million people will die this year (or 20,000 yesterday) from poverty we are out spending almost a billion dollars on fireworks for what? A weekend? A day?
My other problem lies directly with my neighbors here in Detroit. I'd say that 95% of my friends that are from Detroit receive some type of public assistance- food stamps, housing allowance, monthly money, etc... I know my neighbors struggle to pay for field trips, uniforms, etc... So explain to me where they got the money to light up the street for 2 days???
There is a lot of nostalgia involved in how we celebrate 4th of July. I think we like to do what our families have always done. So my hope is to raise my children to enjoy the day with some delicious BBQ and lawn games, but definitely skip the fireworks....
I guess the more that I realize that we spent an exorbitant amount of money on unnecessary things (Super Bowl commercials, fireworks, war, etc...) I just don't want to be involved. One of our pastors gave an excellent sermon last week that discussed some of these very issues... as in when we sin and don't know and what we do when we become aware of it... You can listen to it here.
Anyway, don't go too hard on me if you disagree, I am exhausted and my emotions are high in pregnancy!!!

Just think about it. :)

2011-07-04T17:54:00.001-04:00

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your kingdom come

2011-06-27T15:29:00.003-04:00

I wrote this post up North in my journal and totally forgot to put it on my blog.
(6.15.11)

There's a group called, Enter the Worship Circle (ETWC) and I really like them. When I was in college I received a CD in my mailbox anonymously and it was a mix of ETWC and a group called Speed Thy Servant. The music has been a continued sources of inspiration for over 10 years. ETWC, has put out several albums since, which I continue to enjoy! So on the album, "4th circle" there's a song called, Never Again and I have been thinking about this song a lot lately. The lyrics begin with the reality that the Lord's children are suffering. If you've ever sat with someone who suffers or experienced a culture infused with suffering you'll really understand what I am thinking about today and if you haven't had that experience, I urge you to reach out to someone or a people who suffer. I don't feel the need to describe what I mean right now because I want you to come up with the person/people based on what God puts on your heart and not my interpretation. :) I will get there though- so think about it! In my life I have endured a couple situations that were painful, but through the Lord and His using people I made it through. And I definitely needed those people to help me through those trying times. But what is really on my heart are those who suffer daily without hope of a rapid intervention. Detroit is a really broken city with generational poverty, lack of education, affordable housing, dignity, stability, etc... I have learned over the last 2.5 years that most women from this community have sold their bodies at one time or another... and it has been expressed that this is a normal way of life and many expect that I (or any woman) has done this at one time or another. Seriously. Currently I have heard that we graduate about 17% of seniors from HS. The life of many children in Detroit experience is one of suffering. Divorced or never married parents. Half siblings. Bad education. Poor diet. Absence of Dad. A stressed mom. A littered city. Danger. Drugs. Gun fights. Theft. Exposure to sex at a young age. Etc... This is a result of generational sin. both in the choices of those who live here and sins that others committed against them (think about the history: slavery, racial tensions, white flight, laws against blacks, etc...).
Burundi was also a time God revealed suffering to me. War. No money. Little food. Witchcraft. Disease. Death. Lack of education. Lack of clean water. Lack of resources. Etc...
In both places I feel live I have been given an aerial view into the realm of suffering, but I definitely have a long way to go before I understand it more. Many urban "relocaters" (meaning people who move into the inner city who were not from those areas) who have done what we are trying to do in Detroit did it for over a decade- or 2 or 3 decades- and suggest that you stay where you are for at least a decade because that's the amount of time it really takes people to trust you and let you in.
Point being- I get the suffering piece from an academic standpoint, but I really haven't entered into the suffering of those around me in a way that I hope to someday. So I am not an expert, but I still have thoughts to share!!
So I was listening to that song and I was thinking a lot of things. First, we are comforted by the reality that God hears the prayers of his suffering children and His presence is there.
But the following line from the song is what got me:
"Wake up God. Move yourself. Wicked men crush your children. We pray. We wait. how long will you say... NEVER AGAIN!?!?"
It really reminded me of the Lord's prayer where Jesus has us pray,
"Your kingdom come" (matthew 6:10).

So often I. want. life. This life. Not the eternal life God promises to those who believe... this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but the prayer Jesus taught me to pray doesn't say that. When God's Kingdom comes there will be no more suffering (Isaiah 25:8-9, 65: 17-25). And as a believer my desires should:
1. Be God honoring. 2. Be good for all believers.
This reality really has me thinking not only about what I pray for, but how I pray. As I mentioned it's OK to to like life, as long as it's longing for a life that honors God, and at the same time longing for God's will to be done. And for His Kingdom to come. And the beauty of what will happen is in many ways a mystery.... but we can try to imagine the wiping away of suffering and how incredible that is.

I guess the point is, that when we move past the academics of poverty and pain and suffering and you actually feel-even a little bit- for another person- and see into the life of poverty you can't help, but want that to end.

So I long to pray more for those who suffer and pray: your. kingdom. come.

This You Tube video plays the song behind a random slide show. You don't have to watch the slideshow, but listen to the song. :)

the end of an era

2011-06-02T07:18:00.004-04:00

Many of you may remember when I posted this to give my readers a glimpse into our preparation for communal living. Well, two years later I am happy to say that this experience has been one of the best ones I have ever had. Many wonder if a group of married and single adults can live together under one roof. They can. And it can be really rewarding.
The past two years have been a time of great growth for me. Communal living is not easy and requires lots of time and energy poured into the relationships where you live. I feel like the first year was a bit house focused. We had a lot of kinks to work through... a lot of roles to figure out. Who am I in this mix of people and what do I have to offer? Why is everyone asking me all these questions about my life? I'd say it was a good first year, but definitely not as good as the second year.
A little over a year ago David pulled the BBQ onto the front sidewalk and invited all of our neighbors- I think almost everyone stopped by, but many stayed until dark to hang out. This was a pivotal moment in the mission of our house. A need was expressed from our neighbors for community. They wanted to do a potluck together every week! So for the past year every Thursday we have had our neighbors in our home for a community meal. It has been so special. And I am really gonna miss it.
This past year all of the mates in this house have really come out of their shells. The walls of privacy began to slowly fall and our lives were openly shared with one another. Tears of joy and sadness were openly shared. We were able to endure some really tough stuff... Three grandparents died while living in this house, three pregnancies have happened here- one of which didn't come without some scares. New relationships have started here- Scott found the woman of his dreams, and Micah is now dating an incredible woman from Ann Arbor named Jess. The boys really only know living in this house full of people who love, adore, and take care of them. The list of life experiences that happen among 8 people in two years goes on and on and on.
I'd say the biggest answer to prayer and proof of the Lord's faithfulness was my relationship with Leigh. Perhaps one of the greatest challenges in communal living is the relationships among women. We can be sort of territorial. Also, she was working and I was home. She didn't have kids. I do. She likes things really really clean and orderly, I am a little messy. ;) I can say with a bit of confidence that if we had gone to the same high school or college we probably wouldn't have been friends. By no means would we have been enemies. We just would've been into totally opposite things (I think). But our husbands became good friends and then we moved in together!! With great prayer and hope God renewed a friendship within us that really grew over the past year. Leigh actually loves a lot of the same things I do. Some of our greatest times were leaving the boys (little and big!) and heading off to dinner and a movie, or pedicures, or shopping. We had some great times just doing girly girl stuff. Also we became stronger sisters in the Lord- praying for one another and caring for one anther's spiritual well being.
So by the title and because you probably know what's going on in our lives you also know that Chris and Leigh moved back to Grand Rapids last week. Both their families live in Grand Rapids and they are having a baby that they want to be near family.
When you spend as much time as we did with others you begin to really love them and they become a very significant part of your life. It was really difficult for me to let them go. I kept hoping they would stay in Detroit and buy a house near us. ;) But one of the things I know about life is that you have to let people go, even when it hurts.
I have no idea what kind of relationship we will have with Chris and Leigh over the years... I hope way stay intimately connected, but I don't know what will happen. At any rate I will never forget the two years we did communal living with a group of random people in a place that God made holy and a light for others to see.

everybody p**ps

2011-05-11T20:53:00.000-04:00

It's finally spring here in Detroit, MI and it is BEAUTIFUL. David's dad has always said, "There's nothing like spring in Michigan." And I always thought, "It's not really that great." Well, after 4 winters I completely agree now. The reminder that God has not forgotten us and still gives us beautiful little things that spring up like small flowers and buds on the trees. Then all the sudden I look around and green, pinks, oranges, purples, whites, blues, are all I can see. It's quite beautiful. And for once, Detroit smells amazing.

The house is coming along slowly. We had a couple set backs... so we're looking at a 2 week delay at this point. However, David and Scott have been working diligently on projects. They built the back fence today so it's not open to the alley anymore. They have been working very hard.

I was really bummed tonight that our babysitter fell through and so I had to take the boys to our small group. It only took 45 min. for me to realize that was a horrible idea. So I hauled them home disappointed. When we got home I began the bed time routine... brushed teeth and plopped Bentley on his toilet seat on the toilet. He has been sitting on his little seat on the toilet for several days now... with nothing. Tonight I heard a little tinkle and screamed! I ran downstairs and grabbed the first sweet thing I could find... a chocolate cookie from Trader Joe's. I ran up and handed him the treat. I couldn't stop praising him. Next thing I know he has "the face" followed by 5 more minutes of bathroom movement. Well, it only takes the title of this post for you to figure out what my little boy did!!! He p**ped!!!!! I just can't bear to spell the word. ;) Because of the low muscle tone children with Down syndrome typically take a while to potty train... usually they're 5 years old. Bentley is at this really special stage where he wants to do everything that I am doing.... he mimics everything. So David and I decided we really need to work on potty training before we miss the window. How encouraging that he actually went today!

Chris, David, and Scott leave for Grand Rapids on their bikes tomorrow. It's about 170 miles. It's supposed to rain the next 2 days. I doubt they'll get far if it's cold and rainy. Kristen, Leigh, and I will join them on Friday night.

Potluck is tomorrow night, but since it's just us girls we've invited the neighbors to do a girl's night. It should be fun. I am gonna make a chocolate cake.

So that's all the news here.

The Human Experience and Easter

2011-04-22T15:09:00.004-04:00

So this is a big weekend for Christians. It is a weekend of remembering and recognizing the foundation of our faith. The weekend often begins on Thursday where we celebrate Maundy Thursday- which is a time of remembering the last supper Jesus had with his disciples. There are a lot of important conversations that are recorded in the Bible around that table. It was also the night that Jesus and the disciples shared communion.... the place where Jesus commanded them and us to take the bread representing his body to be broken and the wine- his blood to be poured out and to take, eat, and do it to remember Him. Friday marks the crucifixion. Good Friday. It is a time that churches often leave space for members to come and reflect... a place to confess sin and reflect on the pain Jesus endured for us. Our church is using Saturday as a day of outreach. We are doing the traditional easter egg hunt to draw in children and families from the community and hope they'll not only join us on Easter Sunday, but every Sunday... and every day... as we seek to live our lives for Christ. Finally, Sunday is the big celebration day- the day that marks our sin being cast away by Christ's resurrection from the grave. It marks His deep deep love for us.

A couple years ago David and I went to a special viewing of the film, The Human Experience. I randomly found it on Netflix's view it now and so I watched it again. So this movie is about 2 brothers who come from a broken family in New York and their desire to experience life in other cultures. First, they go to the streets of NY city in the winter and live among the homeless. Second, they go to Peru in a car and work at a place called the Lost Children of Peru. They work with children with physical and mental handicaps. The experience of working with the untouchables changes them and they grow a deep compassion for these innocent children. Finally, they travel to Ghana where they interact with 2 colonies- one for people with AIDS and one for Lepers. Once again, this experience really changes them. So the movie highlights the 3 major faiths, and leaves one with the impression that there is a God who is real and people who are suffering truly believe that. The movie also just really yanks out your heart for people who do suffer- both emotionally and physically. I enjoy it, but I like those mushy movies.

So as I think about Easter and I think about the Human Experience I can't help but tie the two together. The questions that the brothers pose throughout the film, "Who am I, and why am I here?" are fundamental questions that we all ask at one time or another. And I find the answers to be that we are created in the image of the living God (Genesis 1:27) and that our purpose is to do God's will.
So the big questions might start with: What is God's Will? Well, obviously to share the love of Christ and love people.

So here's where I go off in one of my rants. :)

The movie, The Human Experience allows you to catch a tiny tiny glimpse of the reality of pain and suffering that occurs... both in our own country and in this world. It brings up the discussion that having a sweet car and a big house doesn't bring happiness and certainly does nothing to alleviate suffering. It shows that people experience a deep loneliness. There is a scene in the clip on homelessness in New York where a woman describes 4 puppies who were next to her and all these people were calling friends and making sure that the dogs were taken in so they wouldn't have to bear the cold, but she was just left there. Read that again: It shows that people experience a deep loneliness. There is a scene in the clip on homelessness in New York where a woman describes 4 puppies who were next to her and all these people were calling friends and making sure that the dogs were taken in so they wouldn't have to bear the cold, but she was just left there. Why do we do this? Why are we neglecting people? Christ doesn't call us to care about people because they were screwed over and forget the people who messed up their own lives.... he called us to simply: care for people. We are not to decide who gets that care.... he clearly puts them in our lives.... and I'd argue sometimes our safety nets of picking the right neighborhood or job or church cuts us off from the very people Christ is begging us to love.
I'd hate for us to celebrate Easter on Sunday while forgetting about the VERY THING that Christ called us to do. He died for all of us.... and all of us our sinners... and we are hiding in our shells and not boasting about the truth of God's love... and that it heals. One of the greatest joys of being part of a church in inner city Detroit is being part of people's lives. We have a young single mom who used to sell her body. She has turned away from that life and has accepted a new life in Christ where her sin has been washed away and she stands white as snow. The pain that continues to deal with in letting go of her old life reminds me that there are so many others waiting to be freed from the chains of sin. We have stories of families who sold a lot, left their families, and moved into the inner city to simply do life. We have stories of men who have left lucrative life of selling drugs and are struggling to make ends meet as they work with dignity now.
So my challenge is to get out in your community and love on the suffering. How can you communicate the gospel to those people in a way that demonstrates compassion? Don't just go to church on Sunday and eat a big Easter dinner, but wrestle with the idea that the message you so love and proclaim is needed in your community.
At the same time, don't carry the burden of pain. Allow God to show you how can you relate to people in a way that allows Him to do HIS work. :)

And watch the movie if you get a chance. :)

On faith trials

2011-04-21T13:12:00.004-04:00

As I have mentioned before, we are renovating a house on Burns/Mack in Detroit. Let me give you a little history about this neighborhood. First, I will back up to our church. So our church is named Mack Avenue Community Church. The reason our church is named that is because Mack Ave. is a dividing line in our community. In the location of our house, it divides the rich/poor, the haves/have nots, the some white/all black, and the historic neighborhood/vs the forgotten neighborhood. There are three streets that run south of Mack to Jefferson that make up a historic district called Indian Village. The streets are Seminole, Iroquois, and Burns.

Here is a basic map:

View Larger Map

(Since the map is up- you can see where we currently live- Van Dyke/Jefferson).

The follow information ONLY applies to INDIAN VILLAGE. The surrounding areas are not the same... at all... So the closer you live to Jefferson the more expensive the home is, the more homes are occupied, less are rented, etc... Thus, the closer to Mack... less are inhabited, less they cost, more are rented, etc... Once you cross Mack Ave you are out of Indian Village- the lots are smaller and the houses turn into the desolate properties that are shown on the news.
So our church wants to bridge the gap between the historic district and the surrounding blocks. Christ called for unity- and that is not the case in our neighborhoods. The neighborhood club seeks to keep out the "riff raff" and continue to keep things segregated.

So our house is located on the SE corner of Mack/Burns. It backs up to Fischer Street (not historic neighborhood). Currently there is about a 10 foot space in the backyard that is not fenced, which allows passerbys to easily find themselves in our backyard.

David and I swore we would NEVER live in Indian Village for a few reasons. !. We didn't want to be part of the "club" that so eagerly looks to keep people out. 2. We didn't want to deal with the hassle of renovating in a historic district (lots of rules). 3. We didn't want to fix up a house, and a house that is move in ready is out of our price range.

So last September I was combing the neighborhoods in our zip code during the ONLINE TAX AUCTION for properties our church might've wanted to bid on. Well, during the second auction that starts at $500 I came across our house. I couldn't believe what I saw: a beautiful brick home with a fire place and a HUGE lot on the corner of Mack/Burns backing up to Fischer. I mentioned it to David, but was sure he wouldn't agree to live in Indian Village. Well, we had so much support from our church that it ended up being bought at the auction.... and here we are.

I cannot even begin to describe how the Lord has had His hand in this process. So many bumps (and mountains!) have come up in the road, and he continues to give us a way up, around, under, and through.

Over the past couple weeks the house has been broken into twice. Once, they stole our contractor's generator, and yesterday they clipped a bunch of wires in the basement. The electric company was coming out yesterday to do the inspection, which they were unable to do.

The first break in left me pretty unaffected. My reaction? Whatever. It's just a generator, we can buy another one. No one was hurt. It's Detroit.

Yesterday left me feeling more pissed off. This guy's really gonna tear up my basement so he can get $10 for the copper? Are you kidding me?

So David came in the door telling me to REJOICE in this because God is at work and we are obviously doing the right thing.

So the vision that we have with future housemates Kristen and Scott is to be a shining light- a refuge- in a community that has been neglected. We look forward to having lots of fun parties in the yard, lots of meals, and lots of fun. We are located one block from an elementary school- and when school lets out about 50+ kids walk right in front of our house...
The enemy can't stand the idea of us bringing in so many people and sharing the love of Christ... so I am sure we are going to bump up against some faith trials, but our longing is to continue to stand firm in our belief that God is good no matter the circumstances.
The housing renovations may be delayed to things like break- ins, but we must believe in God's sovereign timing.
I invite you to join with us in praying over our new home- pray for protection, that the renovations would be done by June 1. Pray for us and the Selles as we look to create another community house.

Here is a picture of our house (it is the red brick one) I will try to get a better one on here soon!

And here are some verses that remind me of the beauty of persevering:

3 Not only so, but we[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5: 3-8

1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12: 1-3

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Philippians 4:4

Lately....

2011-04-17T21:09:00.002-04:00

It's been crazy busy around here and I haven't posted much at all. I am going to try and do a "catch up" blog post so that I feel the freedom this week to write what I want.... and since it's Holy Week I am sure I'll have some thoughts. :)

So there's been a lot of deaths the last few weeks. First, my dad's good friend, Holly passed away suddenly after a medical procedure in Arizona. She was a young 60ish and leaves behind a broken hearted husband. Her sudden death was very painful for my dad and thus becomes a pain for me. A week or so later, a 39 year old father of 4 boys under the age of 6 passed away after a battle with colon cancer. He was diagnosed a month ago. He and his family attend our church in Tucson. I can remember at Christmas when we visited the The Village, Bentley walked in front of his son who was on the swing and accidently knocked Bentley over. He so tenderly came over with his son and apologized. I mourn for the four young boys who won't have their father to so tenderly teach them the ways of the world. Not 6 days later, a young mom of about the same age, died of cancer and leaves behind 2 young children and her husband. Finally, this past week a youth pastor from Grand Rapids died when his house caught fire in the basement. So yeah, some intense days are behind us. In all of these situations, the deaths did not effect me directly- but they do effect people that I deeply care about. Also, I have this "curse" or "blessing" called the gift of mercy and in case you don't know me very well that means I cry at the drop of the hat because I feel deeply for people who are in pain. So I have had a very heavy and burdened heart for the families who lost people they love. I will add that there is joy in that all of these people where people who love and serve Christ and so I am given the knowledge of peace that they are with Christ- and not in pain. It just sucks that their children and loved ones will experience a certain level of pain for the rest of their time here.

There is also a lot of transition happening around here. Chris and Leigh are getting ready to move back to Grand Rapids in mid May. I've known they'd be leaving, but it's really starting to hit. They have become such dear friends and their absence will be noticed. They are such good role models to our children and really love them. Micah had his offer that he put on a house accepted and is moving forward as he waits to hear from the bank (it's a short sale). I will also dearly miss him and the companionship he has offered to me and David. The three of us spend most nights down at our computers watching tv shows and looking up funny things online. (We have our computers on one desk on the first floor). We are getting ready to move in the Burns house with Scott and Kristen. I am looking forward to a new and more long term community house. I am also a little scared! It's hard to share a house with other people when you're making decisions about what goes where and who does what.... but the part that brings so much joy and depth is when you come home to people who love and care about you... it's so great to have a house full of people to laugh with, cry with, and struggle with. So the benefits of communal living far outweigh the struggles.

So all is well here in the "D". We had a great visit with David's parents last weekend. It's hard to be so far away!

Look for some more posting!!

40 days of vegetarianism: black bean enchiladas

2011-03-30T08:17:00.002-04:00

I don't have a picture or a recipe to cut and paste... so I am going to write it out quickly.

Ingredients
chopped onion
chopped bell pepper
garlic
mushrooms?
frozen corn
black beans
green chilis (canned)
taco seasoning
whole wheat tortillas
enchilada sauce
cheese

Saute onion, bell pepper, garlic, mushrooms(optional) until soft. (5-10 min.).
Add
frozen corn
black beans (rinsed, drained)
green chilis

fill tortilla with veggie mix
roll and place in baking dish
cover with sauce and cheese

bake 350 for about 30 min.

Serve with:
green salad
guacamole
mexican rice

add taco seasoning

clayton

2011-03-30T07:38:00.001-04:00

Clayton's curren favorite toy is my grandfather's beautiful antique rocker.

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cinnamon rolls

2011-03-30T07:37:00.002-04:00

In Burundi we had fresh cinnamon rolls on Sunday morning... delicious! While in the waiting room last week at DMC Children's hospital (for Bentley's cardiology appt.) I found a recipe for cinnamon rolls and decided to try it out. I made one pan with nuts and one without. So good!

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Notes: I used skim milk and I wouldn't do the icing on one pan. I am not a fan of icing. :)
Recipe:

Makes: 14 buns
Prep: 20 minutes
Rise: 2 hours 15 minutes
Bake: 40 minutes

Classic Cinnamon Buns
Nutrition Facts

Servings Per Recipe 14 buns

Ingredients

* 1 cup whole milk
* 1 envelope (1/4 ounce) active dry yeast
* 1/4 cup warm water (100°F to 110°F)
* 3 tablespoons granulated sugar
* 2 eggs
* 1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, melted
* 4-1/2 to 5 cups all-purpose flour
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* Filling:
* 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
* 1/4 cup granulated sugar
* 1 cup packed light brown sugar
* 1 tablespoon cinnamon
* 1 cup coarsely chopped pecans
* 1 cup raisins
* Glaze:
* 2 cups confectioners sugar
* 1 to 3 tablespoons milk

Directions

1. Heat the milk in a small saucepan over medium heat until it just begins to boil. Remove from heat and let stand until cooled to room temperature.

2. Meanwhile, sprinkle the yeast over the warm water in a large bowl. Add 1 tablespoon of the sugar and let stand until foamy, about 5 minutes. Beat in the remaining 2 tablespoons sugar, eggs and butter. Beat in cooled milk.

3. Gradually add the flour and salt, scraping down side of bowl, until a soft dough forms. Turn dough onto a floured work surface and knead the remaining flour into the dough, adding more flour if too sticky. Knead for about 10 minutes until smooth. The dough will be soft.

4. Grease a large bowl. Place the dough in the bowl. Cover with plastic wrap and place in a warm spot until doubled in size, about 1-1/2 hours.

5. Coat two 9-inch round baking pans with nonstick cooking spray. Line bottoms with waxed paper; coat paper with spray. Prepare Filling: Mix butter, both kinds of sugar and cinnamon together in a medium-size bowl.

6. Punch down dough. Roll out dough on a lightly floured surface to an 18 x 12-inch rectangle. Spread the butter-sugar mixture over the dough. Sprinkle with nuts and raisins. Starting on one long side roll up jelly roll fashion and pinch seam to close.

7. Cut crosswise into 14 generous 1-inch pieces. Arrange 7 pieces, cut-side down, in each prepared pan. Cover with plastic wrap and let sit in a warm spot until buns double in size, about 30 to 45 minutes. Or cover tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate until the following morning.

8. Heat oven to 350°F. Uncover pans and bake buns until they are golden-brown and bubbly, 30 to 40 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool 10 minutes.

9. Glaze: Mix confectioners sugar and 1 tablespoon of the milk, adding more milk as necessary, to make a smooth glaze. Invert buns to a serving platter. Drizzle glaze on top of buns (about 1/3 cup per pan). Serve warm.

clayton!

2011-03-30T07:36:00.001-04:00

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40 days of vegetarianism: pasta puttanesca

2011-03-30T07:35:00.004-04:00

Jkdei

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Notes: I do not like olives, but it was good in this sauce.
I didn't use anchovy because I didn't have any.
recipe:
Penne with Puttanesca Sauce
Seductively spicy and piquant, puttanesca sauce is said to have invigorative powers.

Serves 4 to 6
Total time: 30 to 40 minutes

1 cup diced onions
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon olive oil
5½ to 6 cups chopped fresh or undrained canned tomatoes
½ teaspoon dried oregano
½ teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 ½ tablespoons capers, rinsed and drained
10 large kalamata olives, pitted and chopped (about 3 tablespoons)
2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley

a few fresh parsley sprigs (optional)
grated Parmesan cheese (optional)

Combine the onions, garlic, and oil in a saucepan, cover, and sauté for about 10 minutes, until the onions are translucent, stirring occasionally. While the onions cook, chop the tomatoes-you can chop or crush canned tomatoes right in the can. Add the tomatoes to the saucepan. Stir in the oregano, red pepper flakes, capers, olives, and parsley. Simmer, uncovered, until the sauce thickens, about 20 minutes, or a little longer.

When the sauce has cooked for 10 to 15 minutes, bring a large covered pot of water to a boil. Add the penne and cook for about 7 minutes, until al dente. Drain and serve immediately with the sauce. If you wish, top with parsley sprigs and sprinkle with grated Parmesan.

40 days of vegetarianism: caramelized onion and veggie pizza

2011-03-30T07:35:00.003-04:00

Jnkmsz

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40 days of vegetarianism: pastas

2011-03-21T12:33:00.002-04:00

So I made two pastas this weekend and they were delicious! The first I made because Chris' brother, Nate, brought 6 friends from around the state to come experience life in Detroit and join us in some outreaches, as well as, come to church. It was GREAT having them here this weekend! So Nate brought 2 lasagnas he made, but they had meat. So we invited a few more friends over and I added a vegetarian option. I bought the spinach raviolis from Costco (so delicious!) and didn't want to use sauce from a jar so I cooked one quickly and it was sooo good! Then Sunday night I had already planned on making a Pasta Puttanesca from the Moosewood cookbook.
So for the first:
Menu:
Parmesan and Spinach Ravioli
Salad
Bread

Sauce:
2 teaspoons olive oil
4 garlic cloves, chopped
1 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper
2 (14.5-ounce) cans no-salt-added diced tomatoes, drained
1/4 cup chopped fresh basil
1/4 cup (1 ounce) grated fresh Romano cheese

And for the second:
Menu:
Pasta with Sauce Puttanesca
Salad
Bread

Recipe:
1 can crushed or diced tomatoes
1 can tomato paste
10-12 garlic cloves thinly sliced
15-20 kalamato olives, no pit, sliced
Optional: 1-2 TB. anchovy paste (didn't have so didn't use, might try next time!)
black pepper
crushed red pepper
1 lb pasta
olive oil for pasta
parmesan

For smoother sauce, puree tomatoes in their liquid in a blender or food processor. (I did this in the food processor after I had minced the garlic to get all my garlic!)
Combine tomatoes, their liquid, tomato paste, garlic, olives, and anchovies in a medium-sized saucepan, and gradually heat to boil. Reduce heat, and season to taste with black and crushed red pepper, and simmer about 10 min. (Cook the pasta during that time).
Drain pasta and toss with a little olive oil. Add the sauce and serve immediately, topped with parmesan.

And I took a picture:

the end of one "if"

2011-03-19T16:14:00.003-04:00

I have been meaning to post for a few days about the recent "match" we had on Thursday. I think it has been difficult to find words.
So for those of you who don't know at the end of medical school they have a day that is set aside for students to find out where they have "matched" for residency. Towards the end of 3rd year students fill out applications and have have their resumes (personal statement, test scores, activities, etc...) sent to their favorite programs. Then those programs invite potential residents to come and interview. Once the interview process has been completed students and programs rank their choices in numerical order. Then on one day the students receive news of the program where they will go. Sometimes students get their first choice and sometimes their last. It depends on the program, how many applied, and if they even like you.
David ranked DMC's internal medicine and pediatric medicine program 1st and the same program in Phoenix 2nd, 3rd was a family residency program in Denver. David matched in Detroit. So there's the background to this post.

Coming to Detroit has been a process. You can read many of the posts I have had about this process by clicking each of "here" tabs. They are in chronological order, starting at the BOTTOM.
here
here
here
here
here
here
here

All of our discussions on future plans up until this point have been full of "ifs"- If we go back to Arizona we will.... If we stay in Detroit we will.... If you match here or there we can do....
We haven't been able to make any future decisions because we just didn't know where we would be. Thursday brought one of our greatest ifs to an end.
Even though I am happy that David got his first choice- and it was something we picked together- I feel sort of overwhelmed. Firstly, I can't believe we chose Detroit first. I can't believe God brought us here and broke our hearts for this city and we are actually staying. For years my desire has been to return to Arizona. And if i wasn't a Christian I am sure we would have looked into other cities... meaning we wouldn't feel the conviction to live among the poor probably. The weight of our decision is starting to set in. I will say that I am soooo thankful our parents are supportive now. It took them awhile, but by the time match day came around we had support from all. Now that we have matched, we can start renovating the house where we will live. I feel overwhelmed by all the work that needs to be done- it needs everything. We are hiring a contractor, and David tells me not to worry- but sometimes I do anyway. I am reminded of a popularly used proverb that reminds me to trust in the Lord and not lean on my own understanding as I do life. It's a good thing that God reminds me through His word and with His people that I need not worry- and that God's agenda is so far from what the world values because I frequently forget. I have no idea how He got us here and how He managed to get us to choose to stay- but He did. And even though I am a little overwhelmed today, I am definitely excited to see what He has in store for us tomorrow. It has been a good journey walking with the Lord and I think as we grow closer to Him it will only get better. So join us in CELEBRATING the journey ahead. Get ready to see lots of posts on life in the "D"- from the process of renovating an abandoned house to the first fruits of our community garden- to getting more acquainted with people in the community- it's gonna be a lot of fun!

Proverbs 3
1 My son, do not forget my teaching,
but keep my commands in your heart,
2 for they will prolong your life many years
and bring you peace and prosperity.

3 Let love and faithfulness never leave you;
bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Then you will win favor and a good name
in the sight of God and man.

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.[a]

7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD and shun evil.
8 This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.

9 Honor the LORD with your wealth,
with the firstfruits of all your crops;
10 then your barns will be filled to overflowing,
and your vats will brim over with new wine.

11 My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline,
and do not resent his rebuke,
12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in.[b]

13 Blessed are those who find wisdom,
those who gain understanding,
14 for she is more profitable than silver
and yields better returns than gold.
15 She is more precious than rubies;
nothing you desire can compare with her.
16 Long life is in her right hand;
in her left hand are riches and honor.
17 Her ways are pleasant ways,
and all her paths are peace.
18 She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her;
those who hold her fast will be blessed.

19 By wisdom the LORD laid the earth’s foundations,
by understanding he set the heavens in place;
20 by his knowledge the watery depths were divided,
and the clouds let drop the dew.

21 My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight,
preserve sound judgment and discretion;
22 they will be life for you,
an ornament to grace your neck.
23 Then you will go on your way in safety,
and your foot will not stumble.
24 When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
25 Have no fear of sudden disaster
or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked,
26 for the LORD will be at your side
and will keep your foot from being snared.

27 Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
when it is in your power to act.
28 Do not say to your neighbor,
“Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you”—
when you already have it with you.
29 Do not plot harm against your neighbor,
who lives trustfully near you.
30 Do not accuse anyone for no reason—
when they have done you no harm.

31 Do not envy the violent
or choose any of their ways.

32 For the LORD detests the perverse
but takes the upright into his confidence.
33 The LORD’s curse is on the house of the wicked,
but he blesses the home of the righteous.
34 He mocks proud mockers
but shows favor to the humble and oppressed.
35 The wise inherit honor,
but fools get only shame.

And here's a picture I took right after writing all that. :)

program cover

2011-03-19T16:00:00.007-04:00

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Match Day letter

2011-03-19T16:00:00.006-04:00

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2011-03-19T16:00:00.003-04:00

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medical school buddies

2011-03-19T15:59:00.002-04:00

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the new "Mack" building

2011-03-19T15:58:00.002-04:00

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2011-03-16T13:49:00.001-04:00

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40 days of Vegetarianism : Day 6 Spinach salad with fresh strawberries

2011-03-16T13:41:00.005-04:00

Menu:
Spinach Salad
Fresh bread

Recipe:
spinach salad
feta cheese
candied walnuts
sliced strawberries
1 avocado, diced

Mix together.

Add favorite dressing
I used:

Another favorite is:

To candy walnuts:

melt white sugar in pan, add walnuts, coat
place on wax paper to dry

A nice light dinner.

And I took a picture!! See above post. :)

40 days of vegetarianism day 5:

2011-03-14T21:18:00.003-04:00

So this wasn't my favorite, but David liked it. It depends on if you like all these ingredients- :)

Menu
Bulgarian Pepper Casserole
Greek salad
Pita and Hummus

Serves 6-8 easily
1-1/2 cups uncooked brown rice
2-3/4 cups water
1 tablespoon lemon juice
2-3 tablespoons freshly minced dill (or 2 tsp. dried dill)
1-1/2 tablespoons olive oil
2 cups minced onion
4-5 medium green and or red bell peppers, chopped into 1/2-inch pieces
3/4 teaspoon salt (more, to taste)
fresh black pepper
1/2 teaspoon oregano
2 teaspoons basil
8 medium cloves garlic, half of them minced, half of them sliced (keep minced and sliced garlic separate)
1 cup crumbled feta cheese
1-1/2 cups cottage or ricotta cheese (may be lowfat)
2 medium-sized ripe tomatoes
1 cup whole Nicoise olives (or sliced, pitted Kalamata olives) possibly more, to taste

Place rice and water in a saucepan. Cover and bring to a boil. Turn the heat down as low as possible, and simmer without interruption for about 40 minutes, or until the rice is tender. Remove from heat, fluff with a fork, and stir in lemon juice and dill. Set aside.

Meanwhile, heat the olive oil in a large skillet. Add onions, and saute over medium heat 5-8 minutes, or until the onions become soft. Add peppers, salt, pepper, and herbs, and continue to cook, stirring occasionally, for about 10 more minutes, or until the peppers are tender. Stir in the minced garlic (save the sliced garlic for later) and cook for just a minute more. Remove from heat, and stir in the feta cheese.

When you are ready to assemble the casserole, preheat the oven to 375F. Lightly oil a 9 x 13-inch baking pan.

Place the cottage or ricotta cheese in a blender or food processor fitted with the steel blade, and whip until smooth.

Combine rice, pepper saute, and whipped cheese in a large bowl, and mix until very well combined. Transfer to the prepared pan, and spread into place. Top with tomato slices, then scatter olives and slices of garlic in a liberated, random fashion over the tomates.

Bake uncovered at 375F until bubbly- about 30 - 40 minutes. Serve hot or warm.

Not my pic, but it looked just like this.

40 days of vegetarianism: day 5 Spinach quiche

2011-03-14T21:14:00.002-04:00

Delicious option! We had this after church with Micah, Laurie, and Nick.

Once again, I doubled it.
Ingredients

1/2 cup butter
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 small onion, chopped
1 (10 ounce) package frozen chopped spinach, thawed and drained (I used fresh)
1 (4.5 ounce) can mushrooms, drained
1 (6 ounce) package herb and garlic feta, crumbled
1 (8 ounce) package shredded Cheddar cheese
salt and pepper to taste
1 (9 inch) unbaked deep dish pie crust
4 eggs, beaten
1 cup milk
salt and pepper to taste
Directions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
In a medium skillet, melt butter over medium heat. Saute garlic and onion in butter until lightly browned, about 7 minutes. Stir in spinach, mushrooms, feta and 1/2 cup Cheddar cheese. Season with salt and pepper. Spoon mixture into pie crust.
In a medium bowl, whisk together eggs and milk. Season with salt and pepper. Pour into the pastry shell, allowing egg mixture to thoroughly combine with spinach mixture.
Bake in preheated oven for 15 minutes. Sprinkle top with remaining Cheddar cheese, and bake an additional 35 to 40 minutes, until set in center. Allow to stand 10 minutes before serving.

Took a picture!

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40 days of vegetarianism: day 4 Margherita Pizza

2011-03-14T21:09:00.003-04:00

Margherita Pizza (This makes 2 12 inch pizzas)

Ingredients

* 1/4 cup olive oil
* 1 tablespoon minced garlic
* 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
* 8 Roma tomatoes, sliced
* 2 (12 inch) pre-baked pizza crusts (I used the whole wheat- premade not prebaked from Trader Joe's)
* 8-12 ounces shredded Mozzarella cheese
* 10 fresh basil leaves, washed, dried, sliced into strips
* 1/2 cup-1 Cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Directions

1. Stir together olive oil, garlic, and salt; toss with tomatoes, and allow to stand for 15 minutes. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
2. Brush each pizza crust with some of the tomato marinade. Sprinkle the pizzas evenly with Mozzarella cheese. Arrange tomatoes overtop, then sprinkle with shredded basil, and Parmesan.
3. Bake in preheated oven until the cheese is bubbly and golden brown, about 10 minutes.

I did actually take a picture of this!!

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and they said it was good!!

2011-03-13T18:07:00.001-04:00

So David's mom made the black bean recipe and Jane sent me a pic of their dad I couldnt resist to put on the blog!! Keep the photos coming!!!

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Day 3: California Grilled Veggie Sandwiches

2011-03-12T16:03:00.002-05:00

Menu:

California Grilled Veggie Sandwiches on homemade Focaccia Bread
Mango and Strawberry fruit salad
Spinach salad with caesar dressing

We had a DELICIOUS dinner last night. Kristen and I ate early because we had to run Davida up to Auburon Hills.... so we didn't get to enjoy it together- but all seemed to enjoy this savory sandwich!

I couldn't find focaccia bread to save my life- so I just made it.

Recipe:

Ingredients

* 2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 teaspoon white sugar
* 1 tablespoon active dry yeast
* 1 teaspoon garlic powder
* 1 teaspoon dried oregano
* 1 teaspoon dried thyme
* 1/2 teaspoon dried basil
* 1 pinch ground black pepper
* 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
* 1 cup water
* 2 tablespoons olive oil
* 1 tablespoon grated Parmesan cheese
* 1 cup mozzarella

Directions

1. In a large bowl, stir together the flour, salt, sugar, yeast, garlic powder, oregano, thyme, basil and black pepper. Mix in the vegetable oil and water.
2. When the dough has pulled together, turn it out onto a lightly floured surface, and knead until smooth and elastic. Lightly oil a large bowl, place the dough in the bowl, and turn to coat with oil. Cover with a damp cloth, and let rise in a warm place for 20 minutes.
3. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F (230 degrees C). Punch dough down; place on greased baking sheet. Pat into a 1/2 inch thick rectangle. Brush top with olive oil. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese and mozzarella cheese.
4. Bake in preheated oven for 15 minutes, or until golden brown. Serve warm.

NOTE: Apparently you need to make sure your yeast is good- you do this by "prepping the yeast" You can look up instructions online.

California Grilled Veggie Sandwich:
(Once again I doubled the recipe)

* 1/4 cup mayonnaise
* 3 cloves garlic, minced
* 1 tablespoon lemon juice
* 1/8 cup olive oil
* 1 cup sliced red bell peppers
* 1 small zucchini, sliced
* 1 red onion, sliced
* 1 small yellow squash, sliced
* 2 (4-x6-inch) focaccia bread pieces, split horizontally
* 1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese

Directions

1. In a bowl, mix the mayonnaise, minced garlic, and lemon juice. Set aside in the refrigerator.
2. Preheat the grill for high heat.
3. Brush vegetables with olive oil on each side. Brush grate with oil. Place bell peppers and zucchini closest to the middle of the grill, and set onion and squash pieces around them. Cook for about 3 minutes, turn, and cook for another 3 minutes. The peppers may take a bit longer. Remove from grill, and set aside.
4. Spread some of the mayonnaise mixture on the cut sides of the bread, and sprinkle each one with feta cheese. Place on the grill cheese side up, and cover with lid for 2 to 3 minutes. This will warm the bread, and slightly melt the cheese. Watch carefully so the bottoms don't burn. Remove from grill, and layer with the vegetables. Enjoy as open faced grilled sandwiches.

NOTE: Our grill was covered in snow- so I just cooked the veggies in the oven- it still tasted good- but I look forward to grilling next time!!

Rating: 5/5
DELICIOUS!!!

40 days of vegetarianism Day 2: Black beans and rice

2011-03-11T13:52:00.004-05:00

Every Thursday we have potluck for the neighbors on our block. It tends to be a consistent group- and every once in awhile we convince others to join us. :) We usually have Kesha- she has 3 children Kamoni (8), Kashila (6) and Kemone (16). Her half sister, Arielle (15) joins us regularly. Also, our neighbor from across the street, Chleo comes. Chleo has a wheelchair bound daughter with cerebral palsy who joins us when she can (not very often unfortunately- they live on the 3rd floor of a house with steep stairs- so she can't come over very often). There are a few other people who join us from time to time- our block doesn't have that many people living on it. Anyway.... that's a side note!
So last night I made black beans and rice. After scooping the black beans and rice onto your plate you can add fresh salsa, cilantro, sour cream, guacamole, and crumpled chips. So delicious! As usual, I doubled the recipe. The original yields 10 servings. Oh and I used dried black beans. So to make enough beans for 20 people it cost me about $2- if you buy canned beans they usually sell for about $1/can which would run you about $7.42.
Kesha brought garlic bread and a garden salad oh and yellow cake with chocolate frosting! Chleo brought green beans. We had a WONDERFUL dinner!

After dinner, they all cleaned up while I put the boys down (David and Alex excused themselves for discipleship). Then we all played Catchphrase.

Having a potluck is a really easy way to gather people together. Everybody has to eat. So why not eat together?!?!

Recipe: Black beans and rice
1 teaspoon olive oil
1 onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
3/4 cup uncooked white rice
1 1/2 cups low sodium, low fat vegetable broth
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
3 1/2 cups canned black beans, drained (or you can use dried beans and save a lot of money!)
Directions

In a stockpot over medium-high heat, heat the oil. Add the onion and garlic and saute for 4 minutes. Add the rice and saute for 2 minutes.
Add the vegetable broth, bring to a boil, cover and lower the heat and cook for 20 minutes. Add the spices and black beans.

CONDIMENTS:
fresh salsa
sour cream
chips
cilantro
fresh guacamole

Rating: 5/5 Good, easy vegetarian dinner
No, this is not a picture of our dinner- I will start doing that though!!!

POTLUCK THURSDAY!

40 days of Vegetarianism : Day 1: Carmelized Onion Pasta

2011-03-09T22:00:00.002-05:00

So for Lent we are giving up meat at the VDP (Van Dyke Place). Before I share my recipe and talk about out adventure into abandoning meat- I want to write about Lent.
First of all, you can read this blog for an interesting post about lent.

We have decided to give up a meat for a couple reasons. First, it is a sacrifice.... at least for me. I love meat. :) When I met David he was a vegetarian and I thought he was crazy. How could you possibly give up something so delicious? So when I want to eat meat, I can be reminded of the Lenten season and reminded of the sacrifice Jesus made for me on the Cross. Secondly, most people in the world can't afford meat. Sometimes it helps to identify with the struggles of the weak and the poor. Obviously at the end of the day I am not the same as someone who can't afford meat, but it is good to remind ourselves that there are a lot of poor people who can't afford meat. It helps keep our priorities in line.

I am not really feeling the whole blogging thing- so I am might add more later.... but for now I will just post the first day's recipe. :) I doubled the recipe to feed all of us and have left overs. :)

Carmelized Onion Sauce with Noodles
Oven grilled asparagus
fresh bread

½ c. olive oil
4 to 6 large onion, thinly sliced
½ to 1 c. white wine
1 medium bunch spinach, stemmed & minced
1 c. crumbled feta cheese with herbs
¾ to 1lb pasta (I used penne)
1 c. chopped walnuts
Parmesan cheese

Heat olive oil in a large skillet or sauté pan. Add onions & sauté on medium heat for about 15 minutes. Lower heat, and continue to cook for at least another 10 minutes (you can cook on low heat for up to an hour if you like-which is what I did). Add white wine, turn heat back up to medium, & simmer uncovered about 15 minutes. At this point the sauce can be set aside until you are ready to cook the pasta. Turn the heat back on under the sauce when you are ready to cook the pasta. When the onions are hot, add the chopped greens, stir, and cook about 5 minutes. Stir in the crumbled cheese, and turn heat to low while cooking the pasta. After the cooked pasta is drained, add it to the sauce, and stir briefly in the pan before serving. Sprinkle with walnuts & parmesan.

- The Moosewood Cookbook
Rating: 5/5 DELICIOUS!

Once again, not my picture... sorry... will start doing that!

Letter 7

2011-03-09T20:17:00.004-05:00

Home sweet home.
Our trip home was fairly uneventful other than the minor problem in Bujumbura that required some negotiating, a $100 bill, and prayer. Turns out having an expired visa doesn't help you get out of Burundi! Somehow our visa was marked through 11 February- the guard didn't even realize it until after he had stamped 4 passports and was about to make his final signature- David did a lot of negotiating and finally after about 45 min. the guard accepted the $100- he said $20 for each passport + a $15 fine per passport- but David convinced him we only had a $100. Not sure if he is going to pocket the money or if it was a legitimate fine- whatever- I am safely home. The first flight stopped in Nairobi to fuel up, let off some passengers, and fill up the plane. The rest of our time was a breeze. The boys were exceptional.
Kristen picked us up and was waiting outside of customs with a sign welcoming us home! We had dinner here with the usual crew and got the boys bathed and into bed.
It's good to be home. The boys were soooo excited when they saw their room with their toys. They also are more excited about the foods they're accustomed to eating. A quick trip to Trader Joe's for a few groceries was great- I think I bought a few more "treats" than normal!
We had a dinner with 14 last night- and enjoyed many visitors throughout the day. We feel very loved.
I guess this is the end of our emails! I will use this email system to inform people of the presentation we'll be doing soon.... Thank you so much for faithfully reading our emails, praying for us, and for your kind words of encouragement. As I look back and read old emails and journals I can see God's hand upon our family- prayer after prayer was answered- even if it wasn't the way I wanted it answered I can see God's footprints.
I am going to give you all a link to the hundreds of pictures I took while in Burundi- if you come to our presentation you'll see many of them again. I tried to label many of them. Feel free to download any of them- just don't sell them- unless you're giving the money to Kibuye Hospital!! This does take humility on my part- but I know that I can only take pictures because God has given me the eyes to what is beautiful and the means to buy the equipment to capture them- they are His pictures. :) So enjoy. https://picasaweb.google.com/fotosdefamilia05/ALLBURUNDI#

The verse that really spoke to me while we were there comes from Isaiah 65 (you can read it at the end of the email.) We were talking about how the Burundians seem to really long for heaven and how often we long to stay on earth- this verse was a good reminder to me of why it is important to long for the New Earth- that even though I experience very little suffering- there are millions who do- and the hope of heaven is very calming.

New Heavens and a New Earth
17 “See, I will create
new heavens and a new earth.
The former things will not be remembered,
nor will they come to mind.
18 But be glad and rejoice forever
in what I will create,
for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight
and its people a joy.
19 I will rejoice over Jerusalem
and take delight in my people;
the sound of weeping and of crying
will be heard in it no more.

20 “Never again will there be in it
an infant who lives but a few days,
or an old man who does not live out his years;
the one who dies at a hundred
will be thought a mere child;
the one who fails to reach[a] a hundred
will be considered accursed.
21 They will build houses and dwell in them;
they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit.
22 No longer will they build houses and others live in them,
or plant and others eat.
For as the days of a tree,
so will be the days of my people;
my chosen ones will long enjoy
the work of their hands.
23 They will not labor in vain,
nor will they bear children doomed to misfortune;
for they will be a people blessed by the LORD,
they and their descendants with them.
24 Before they call I will answer;
while they are still speaking I will hear.
25 The wolf and the lamb will feed together,
and the lion will eat straw like the ox,
and dust will be the serpent’s food.
They will neither harm nor destroy
on all my holy mountain,”

says the LORD.

David
It is good to be home, sort of. I miss Africa already. There's a foot of snow on the ground in Detroit. We have been going through pictures and reflecting on our time iin Kibuye. For me our time in Kibuye was a time of learning and growth. It was an eye-opening experience. If you look at straight GDP, Burundi is the poorest country in the world, no matter who is counting. If you adjust for cost of living it ranks somwhere between 2nd and 4th poorest country. >90% of the population survives on subsistence agriculture. I know that you have heard this all before from us, but to see it is a life changing event. That's not to say it was a sad experience. I enjoyed being in Kibuye. The people there were friendly and inviting. For me, as someone who is constantly inundated with consumeristic culture it was refreshing to be in a place without internet, television, or even a store that sells more than daily necessities. But it was an experienced that revealed the extent of the need in Burundi specifically, Africa more generally and the poorest couple billion people in the world even more generally. It was also a learning experience to see the effect of war, particularly prolonged war on a country.

So I have spent a fair amount of time considering what those needs are, and in true American fashion trying to figure out how to fix the problem. The need is more than monetary. The war deprived the country of a generation of intellectual and experiential capital. When the army targeted educated Hutus, it accomplished it's goal of removing the leadership of the majority of the population. Medicine is a good example of the needs. YOu could send money to pay for medical care for every member of the population of Burundi, but that doesn't mean that they would get quality medical care. There is a shortage of doctors, of nurses, of hospitals and hospital beds, of people trained in x-ray, lab techniques, and pharmacy, of accountants to keep the hospitals open, of health education in the population to know when to seek medical care over witch doctors...

It was encouraging to see the effect of Hope Africa University. The goal of the university is: "The university seeks to send into African society Christian scholars and professionals who will be able to effectively apply economic, political, and social principles for the well being of African people!" It was started in 1999 in Kenya then moved to Bujumbura in 2003. The first medical school class entered 6 years ago and will graduate next year. HAU has quickly established itself as a premier institution in Burundi and now has over 4000 students. It has now come up against another shortage in Burundi's resource pile--qualified teachers. There is pressure to accept more students and pressure to put more and more students in a class, and the resources are stretched thinner and thinner...but a quality education depends on a thick application of resources. The great need in Burundi and elsewhere in the developing world is for qualified, trained personnel who can invest human intellectual capital.

The medical school has made a great start with two great first classes, but they are trying to create a clinical education system on the fly without doctors to teach. This was a large part of what I did when I was in Kibuye. I did a lot of teaching and modeling for the students to begin their clinical education. But what the students need is long term instruction from qualified doctors. I think to maintain a class size of fifty (which it looks like will be the class size within 4 years) with three clinical years, I think they will need (not that I have any say in what they need or what they will get) at least 20-25 qualified clinical faculty split between the clinic/hospital in Bujumbura and the hospital in Kibuye.

On my last evening in Burundi I had dinner with a group of young doctors. There were three of them out of a group of six that are working together at Tenwek hospital in Kenya on a two year stint. They decided several years ago together to invest long term in developing a hospital/medical school somewhere in Africa. And now it looks like that place is going to be Kibuye. They are tentatively set to arrive in 2 1/2 years. I was really encouraged to talk to them and see the desire to invest long term in this place. They talked confidently of securing funding to expand the hospital, bring in new equipment etc, and then seemed excited about the prospect of teaching medical students and education a new generation of doctors. In addition our friends the Dr.'s Miller, are set to head for Bujumbura to teach at the medical school and work at the new clinic starting one year from now.

Suffice to say, I saw the need in Burundi for what I am good at. So I don't know what that means. There is also a great need in the community I live in now. But I would love to return to Burundi someday--for now we'll be in Detroit for four more years as I complete my residency. But after that--there is an excitement I feel when I think about the prospect of returning to and working in Burundi, a sense of doing something constructive...a chance to build and not destroy, to invest instead of consume...

A passage I read over and over again--almost daily--while I was in Burundi was Isaiah 58...I was especially drawn to verses 6-8

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

And I think, what if the church fasted like this. What if we sacrificed our comfort and our material "blessings" and sought first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. What if we sought out opportunities to give of ourselves? I know that personally, when reading this passage, I feel like a failure. I know that my first concern is generally my own comfort. But I want the glory of the Lord to be my rear guard. I want to be an agent of recreation. I want to be filled with the passion of the Lord for justice for the poor and oppressed.

And then I get to the promise in verses 10-12...

and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

I want to see the restoration. I want to be an agent of the kingdom of God, to work towards rebuilding society as it was meant to be, to fight for justice and remove yokes. I want to be part of a body called Repairer of Broken Walls and Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

Anyway, we had a good time in Burundi and learned a lot. We would be happy to sit down with any of you and talk about what we learned, what we saw, what we hope. We have collected our thoughts and pictures in a journal of sorts which we would be happy to share with you if you are interested.

Love
David Adrienne Bentley and Clayton

Letter 6

2011-03-09T20:17:00.003-05:00

Well, we have left Kibuye. Six weeks really went by fast. We are now officially on our way home. We
arrived in Bujumbura this evening, and will spend the day here tomorrow before beginning our return
voyage on Wednesday.
Bentley is slowly recovering from a bout of malaria. Towards the end of the trip he started refusing his
prophylaxis...chewing it up and spitting it out. Saturday night and Sunday he was pretty sick, but luckily I
had spent most of the previous three weeks looking at kids with malaria so I recognized the symptoms.
He's getting better now though.
It was hard to leave the hospital today. I've really enjoyed my time there. I will miss the people I got to
know. It will be interesting going back to hospitals in the states.
Adrienne here. As most of you saw on my facebook, we saw a terrible accident on our descent today- a
car had driven off the road and was stopped about 500 feet down the cliff- crazy. There really aren't many
cars up country- so I can assume it was a taxi or government vehicle. Before heading up to Kibuye I had
been told the roads are really great- well, if you mean well paved, yes, they're great. If you mean lots and
lots of curves with steep falls- then we're talking scary- although fear aside- it is unbelievable to come
down the hills- the views are spectacular and Fidele is a wonderful driver.
Bujumbura is quite different than the quiet village of Kibuye. Lots of people, lots of cars. Benefits: we now
have internet access, and there are more English speakers since we are staying at the Hope Africa
University campus. This evening we went to dinner with Wayne and Barb Vibbert (missionaries and
teachers at HAU), Wayne and Darlene McCown, and the Axelson's (spell?) from Spring Arbor, MI. The
Axelson's treated us to an amazing meal at the top of a hill overlooking the city of Bujumbura. The food
was fabulous. Even a ritzy European restaurant will serve you a 2 course meal for under $10/person.
We plan to do some shopping tomorrow and Wednesday we hope to go to Lake Tanganyika. The Viberts
have assumed responsibility for driving us around!!
We have wireless email now so feel free to write whenever. Also, to our parents- we no longer are
accessible by that phone number- so just email from now on. :)
Love,
David, Adrienne Bentley, and Clayton
Adrienne

Letter 5

2011-03-09T20:16:00.004-05:00

Since Adrienne has done most of our communicating so far I thought I should take a turn. I have
been pretty busy at the hospital. It has been a really great experience for me. I wish we could stay
longer. Iʼve enjoyed working with the medical students from Hope Africa University. There are 16 of them
and I have been doing a fair amount of teaching. I give a lecture once or twice a week on some topic that
has come up during the week, and Iʼve been helping them learn how to do a history and physical. I spent
the first half of our time taking care of the patients in the mens ward and in isolation. For the last two
weeks I have been taking care of all the pediatric patients. There are on average 30 or so patients, with
8-10 new cases per day. Iʼve also been doing a lot of work in the emergency room. I get called up there
at least 5 times a day.
" Iʼve gotten pretty good at dealing with malaria. Probably 40 % of the pediatric patients have
malaria. I also see quite a bit of typhoid, pneumonia, asthma, malnutrition, diarrhea. Then there are
broken bones, osteomyelitis, and skin infections. Iʼve had two cases of measles.
" This week was kind of a rough week for me in terms of the patients I saw. Iʼve learned that it is a
relatively common thing to go to the local traditional healer (not sure if heʼs a witch doctor or just a guy
with a pair of scissors) and have him cut off your babyʼs uvula at around 1-2 months. Iʼm not sure what
the indications are for a uvuloplasty, but I think it has something to do with how much he thinks you will
pay him to do it. Anyway, on Tuesday this week he must have somehow contaminated his scissors
because one of my patients, who was recovering nicely from pneumonia developed a raging throat
infection when his mother took him out of the hospital for a few hours to have his uvula removed. It took
me two dayvvvvvvvvvvvvzvs to figure out why he had suddenly developed a new fever. Then Saturday I
saw a patient in emergency who had had the same procedure done on Tuesday, who could barely
breathe because his throat was so swollen from infection.
" On Wednesday a 14 year old girl came into the hospital. She had fallen and hurt her wrist two
weeks before. Her whole forearm swelled up and so she went to the traditional healer who made some
marks on her arm. A week later she came to the surgeon who visits us on Saturdays and he said she had
osteosarcoma and ordered an x-ray. By the time I saw her she had had compartment syndrome for two
weeks and her hand was contracted. Dr. Rusher and I went ahead and did a fasciotomy because the
texts we read said go ahead and do it even weeks late, but her arm was full of necrotic mush. Iʼll be
surprised if she ever is able to use her hand.
" On Thursday night(actually Friday morning) I was called down to the hospital to see a 4 year old
girl whose parents had found her lying on the floor on returning from work at night. When I saw her she
was having trouble breathing. She was a diffusely hypertonic, and not really responsive. Then I went to
look in her mouth and realized that her jaw was so tightly closed her cheeks were bleeding (at one point
later after we relaxed her a little she snapped a tongue depressor in half with her teeth—lesson learned).
I got the treatment for tetanus started right away. It was amazing to see how quickly her breathing
improved after a dose of rectal diazepam. She seemed to be doing ok for the first 24 hours. The spasms
were mostly confined to her jaw. I thought maybe she had partial immunity. But then she died. It was
pretty hard for me. (Iʼve had more patients die in the last six weeks than in the whole of medical school).
" It hasnʼt been all bad though. I had a 2 year old who was severely malnourished and had
measles. He got to a point where he was so weak that he got a sacral decubitus ulcer from laying in bed.
He was so malnourished he had lost his appetite. So I took Claytonʼs formula (he doesnʼt need it
anyway) and started him on 2-3 big cups of milk a day. About three days later he started to eat porridge
and then about three days after that he started eating solid food. Now his ulcer is starting to heal and he
is eating well. He still cries every time he sees me though. Now I have a standard order set I use for
malnourished kids.
" There are a lot of needs at the hospital. A new x-ray machine and some training for the x-ray
technician would be great. The lab could use a little help. There are some tests that would be really
useful and wouldnʼt cost too much in materials or training to implement. And there is a chronic lack of
qualified staff. The nurses are stretched thin and the doctors even thinner. But they do a great job caring
for patients with the resources at hand. And there seems to be a real commitment on the part of the
church and Hope Africa University to turn Kibuye hospital into a university hospital where the medical
students can receive a quality education.
" In other news we have really enjoyed being here. We have pretty nice living arrangements with
electricity and running water and a stove. Bentley and Clayton have both had a couple bouts of
gastroenteritis, but they are doing well now. I spend most of the day sneezing…there is a lot of mold
everywhere in the air, but especially for some reason in the pediatric ward. Also life is a lot better since
we convinced Ezechiel to get us real coffee grown and roasted in Burundi instead of Nescafe.
" This is Adrienne now. Not sure what I can write after reading Davidʼs part. Can you handle all
that? I had a great week. I have been enjoying the mornings with the boys- we have developed a bit of a
“routine”- which can change any given day!! They eat breakfast right away and take their malaria
medicine- the giving of malaria medicine has changed since the beginning- I started by dissolving it in
their oatmeal which was a total fail because that pill is awful tasting. Then I moved to putting it in their first
bite of food, but too often Bentley would chew it with his food and that was problematic- and now I am
proud to say I stick that pill right on their tongues and they swallow it with a small drink of juice! Go boys!!
After breakfast we usually either color or dance around the living room. I turn up the music loud and we
have a lot of fun. Even Ezechiel will come in to dance with the boys. Thatʼs really the end of our routineanything
else goes after that! Lately Clayton has been waking up too early so I put him down for an early
nap and I go up to the hospital and visit David with Bentley strapped to my back. Oh and I found a secret
walking path that I love!! If you go behind the hospital and turn right there is a long narrow path that goes
about 5 km (Iʼm told) it winds through banana trees, up and down hills, corn fields, and gardens. It is very
peaceful. The other day I got to the top of the hill and looked out over the country side and just on the
other side was a thunderstorm- I could see the rain pouring down and I could hear the thunder- it was
amazing. The people love to see me walking with the boys. The come out of the fields and call all their
family members to come see the mzungos! They are so kind.
" I often get asked what I do or if I am in the medical profession to which I proudly respond, NO!
Although secretly sometimes I think it would be neat to be a nurse. Well, the last few days I have been
going up to the hospital and into the pediatric wards and a couple other places- I love following David and
the medical students around- itʼs fun to interact with the patients too. However, they are no longer patients
with symptoms and diagnoses- they are people with faces and names. No longer can David say, “So I
have this patient….” He now says their name or reminds me what bed theyʼre in. There is a little boy who
needs a leg amputation because of osteomyelitis- he currently is in a wheel chair and has been waiting
for an operation for about 2 weeks. He is always with a young girl who has osteomyelitis in her femur. I
love seeing their sweet little faces- they play ball with Bentley sometimes- and I gave them each a blue
teddy bear. Well, she had an operation today (I didnʼt know till later). So David comes home and tells me
a patient was prescribed a medication that she was allergic to (from another doctor)- and he was glad he
went to check on her because he changed it to the correct medication- turns out it was Diona- my heart
sank- “My Diona?” I asked. Also, I was walking around the hospital today when David went to find the little
girl with tetanus and he couldnʼt find her- one of the med students came and said she had died. I had to
walk out of the ward- it was heartbreaking. Her death probably could have been prevented, but there
arenʼt enough nurses to ensure adequate medical treatment during the night. There is a real opportunity
to minister to patients and families in the hospital. If we return to Burundi, I really want to learn Kirundi- or
have a translator- so I can pray with patients and be with them- there is a chaplain, but I think I would
enjoy doing that too (on a much smaller scale than the chaplain).
" There are days when I canʼt wait to get home and eat ice cream and go to my parks and see my
people and do my thing, but overall I really like it here. Itʼs a totally different life, but itʼs a good life. David
often pulls out the hymn book and sings to Bentley on the couch- itʼs really sweet. There is no place to
spend money here- no billboards and advertisements- I think God has really prepared us in our lives to
do this kind of thing- I think Davidʼs chill enough to handle the hospital- the lack of cleanliness and
western procedures for doing things a certain way- plus he loves teaching the students. Heʼs unbelievable
with them- I was so impressed! I love interacting with the students too. I think the medical school at Hope
Africa is such a great educational system- to produce native doctors to go out and help people here is
really going to make a difference- keep praying for them! The first class graduates in December 2012 (I
think).
" This is our last week in Kibuye. Pray for us- pray that it would be a great week filled with joy and
encouragement. Pray for David as he continues to serve his patients. Pray for us as we say good bye to
many people we have come to enjoy- A few of Davidʼs patients have been in the hospital since heʼs been
there- I think it will be difficult to leave them without finishing their care. Pray for this country. Pray for
peace in Burundi- you cannot fathom the stories we have listened to about the genocide that occurred
here…. Pray that the people would be able to forgive one another for the horrible things that happened.
Pray that people would stop putting their faith in witch doctors- they do terrible things to children. There is
a lot of that up here and I just donʼt understand. Also, please pray for Dr. Rusher as we prepare to leave.
He lost his wife to cancer about 3 years ago and I think he is really lonely. I think he really enjoys having
David around and seems to appreciate the boys and their youthfulness. Pray that he wouldnʼt feel lonely
and also for his relationship with the students to strengthen.
" We are so thankful for your prayers and your encouragement. Our time here has been
unforgettable. David has been really able to help people- and God has really been doing a good work in
our hearts. He has grown us together- allowed us to connect with other missionaries- with Burundiansand
with our children.
Love,
David, Adrienne, Benny and CREATON (turns out itʼs Creaton and not Clinton!!!!)

Letter 4

2011-03-09T20:16:00.003-05:00

Greetings to you all- our dear friends and family! I am glad that you are receiving our emails and joining
us in our short journey here. Iʼve decided to send an email that only includes things that will bring joy and
gladness to your hearts! The heavy things of life can become too much to bear, and I want to make sure
that while we know there is pain and suffering, we rejoice that God is good and proclaim the GOOD things
He is doing here and in our hearts.
It has been a wonderful week here in Kibuye. The sun shines everyday and most days a short
thunderstorm rolls through the hills and cools it down. I love the sound of thunder- and the roof here is like
tin so you can hear the rain fall well. Itʼs beautiful. Weʼve discovered we can listen to BBC in English at 7
AM and 7 PM- so we have been somewhat enlightened to the things of the world. With the increase of
food prices I hear there is mayhem in Egypt and Somalians are starving because of the drought and
increase of food prices. I am so thankful that this place receives daily rain to keep the crops fruitful. Most
people grow their own food and are self sufficient.
I have discovered Kibuye is home to some really beautiful birds. In the afternoon when the boys are
sleeping I take my camera outside and Camaro and I look for birds. There is a bird with a really long red
tail- itʼs quite beautiful. The birds that drink from the poinsettias have a bright turquoise chest and are neat
to photograph. The first day I photographed the birds I showed Camaro and Boteyi the pictures and their
faces lit up with excitement. They couldnʼt believe the pictures I was able to capture! We had SO much
fun. I have never stopped to discover birds- at all. The pace of life here is so calm that I have found joy in
flowers and birds!
We had a dinner party this past week- as in we invited friends from the community! We invited John
Baptiste who works with World Relief and 2 nursing students- Alida and Anosiatte. They came for dinner
and then we watched the movie Up. At first they laughed that it was a cartoon, but I think they got into it
as it went on. It was sooo fun to have friends over. Ezechiel made a wonderful dinner and I made
snickerdoodle cookies. I love having friends. I want to tell you about the World Relief program here in
Kibuye. It is a 5 year program that has 4 facets: 1. Prevention of malaria 2. Immunizations of children 3.
Nutrition 4. Clean water …. So malaria kills a lot of people, but it can help be prevented. The mosquito
nets really can protect people from malaria. However, people are resistant to the nets for a few reasons:
1. They donʼt understand what causes malaria 2. They donʼt think the nets will actually help 3. The nets
are hot to sleep under 4. In Burundi, the man builds a home. The nets are given to the women at clinics
and then they bring them home and the men feel that it interferes with his building the home. (This may
sound ridiculous or a chauvinistic- but we all know that it is difficult to break cultural barriers- and we all
have things that we live by that are ridiculous- like buying things we canʼt afford with money we donʼt have
for people we want to impress. ! ) Immunizing children can save hundreds of lives. It is important to
teach families about each immunization and what it is preventing the child from receiving. Nutrition- the
staples here are cassava bread, beans, and rice. Children need to get green vegetables and need more
nutrition than an adult because they are growing- it is important to teach families the balance of a meal.
There is a wonderful organization here called Project Busoma. Busoma is like a porridge that has lots of
great nutrients for children. It is located right here in Kibuye next to the hospital so when a malnourished
child comes David can prescribe busoma to help! The organization is a Free Methodist organization
based out of Indiana. I think you can look it up online. The water here is really contaminated. I avoid it all
costs- unless Iʼm using soap! It is good to teach families to boil the water before they drink it- it takes a lot
of time to boil water over coals so I can understand why people donʼt want to do it, but it can really help
prevent diseases. I am so encouraged by Project Busoma and World Relief.
There have been a team of people from the US here in Burundi this past week. They stayed in Gitega, but
came to Kibuye for a couple things. Yesterday a childrenʼs pastor,Abby, from Washington came to give a
workshop for the Sunday School teachers. It is extremely difficult to get a curriculum here- the cost of
materials is too much for all the churches here in Burundi. Also, itʼs good to teach churches to be selfsufficient
and not depend on outside help when they can. So Pastor Abby came to give a workshop to
various Free Methodist churches on how to teach a Sunday School lesson with what they have. She had
a pile of sand and used things from the environment to tell Bible stories. Then she split the teachers up
into groups and had them present the lesson to the whole group- I was able to see what the teachers had
prepared while Barb (a missionary from Bujumbura) watched the boys- what a treat! So there were 4
groups I think- they told the stories of Noah and the ark, Good Samaritan, Jesus healing the sick and
feeding the 5000, and Zaccheus. So they had cloth to make a Jesus, and sticks to represent disciples,
bottle tops were sheep in the story of Noah, leaves became boats, an orange cone was cut to become
Jerusalem, etc… She talked to them about asking questions- what is the main point of the story? What is
the most important part (there are lots of important parts!) Who are you in the story? It was FABULOUS!
The teachers were so encouraged that they had things to teach Sunday school lessons with- and they
were materials they already had here! They were each given a Bible and a little notebook and a pen for
the workshop. Why do we go to such excess to communicate the story of God to children in the US when
we could communicate it more simply?
Today the whole group came to be part of Sister Connection. Sister Connection is an organization that
was founded by the daughter (Denise) of the missionaries who teach at Hope Africa University- Wayne
and Barb Vibbert- it is focused on widows. “Following over a decade of civil war, thousands of Burundians
became widows and orphans, experiencing intense trauma along the way. Literally an entire generation of
fathers and husbands lost their lives, one family at a time. On average, each widow cares for four
children. Some households have as many as 11 children many of which are orphans.” So the Sister
Connection is a sponsorship program. So for $30/month you can provide your sister in Christ with food,
medical care, household necessities, clothing, seeds for planting, and educational assistance. You
receive a profile and photo of your widowed sister, occasional letters, and the Sister connection
newsletter. One hundred percent of the $30 is given to the widow. There are additional educational
initiatives that people can help support as well- childrenʼs camp, youth camp, widowʼs national retreat,
leadership seminar- all around $30-$50 and for a 4 year degree it is $4800. You can support the workers-
So there is a social worker salary of $40/month- which trains and employs social workers- most of them
widows- monitor and support widows and projects in their area. Also, you can give any amount to go to
the administrative staff in Burundi. Finally, you can build a woman a house- For $600 you give a sistersecurity,
shelter, Dignity within the community. The homes are constructed by local builders, materials are
purchased locally, and it foster pride in the local community. You receive a certificate of appreciation, a
personal profile, and a family photo in front of the new house. Additional resources help with health care
bills and other needs. Also, the program is adding an additional feature which includes a micro
management loan- so you can loan a widow money to start a business and she begin to wean off of the
financial part of the program!
So now that you know what Sister Connection (SC) is, hereʼs a bit from my experience today:
Teresa- the local director here- invited me to attend the celebration today at the church. I arrived a bit late
and walked into to over 60 widows praising the Lord with their beautiful voices, large drum made out of an
oil barrel, and dancing. It was amazing. I was placed up front with the group from the US and my eyes
immediately filled with tears. All these women have lost their husbands and are making it on their ownthey
have been so blessed by the SC program. Many of the widows are educated as the killings began
with the intelligent of society. It was so overwhelming to be among such strong women. The service
consisted of a few women sharing their stories, the bishop from the US giving a great sermon, and
various words of gratitude from both sides. I was honored to be a part of the celebration. Then the team
came to our house for lunch. Ezechiel made a wonderful lunch. It was so great to hear more about the
organization. So it began when some women from Deniseʼs church in Phoenix wanted to help women
internationally- this small group of women began a huge initiative which impacts more than 400 widows
and their children. SC profiles 50 more women than they have sponsors for and then continue up from
there. That way they donʼt have 100 women waiting to be sponsored with no money in sight…. There are
1000 of women who could benefit from this program. Look it up: ! www.sisterconnection.org I will put
the video from today online when I get home!
So as you can see God is doing some AMAZING things in Burundi. Behind each organization is a story- a
story of a simple man or woman who obeyed Godʼs calling- whether it be educating people to help them
live longer and more healthy, or taking care of the orphaned and widowed or sharing the word of the
Lord… I am so encouraged by people who have been convicted to change something- enter in humility
knowing they really arenʼt big enough to make a difference- but know that they serve a God who is and by
faith step out and are part of change. May we all be encouraged!!!
We love you and are happy to share our joy with you!
Love,
The crazy crawfords

Letter 4

2011-03-09T20:15:00.004-05:00

Namahoro. NiʼSawa! We hope you are all doing well. Itʼs Sunday afternoon again and I thought Iʼd note
some of the major updates around here. Weʼve had an eventful week- well as eventful as you can get in
rural Africa! Iʼve started to make friends here! Alida is a student- she is 20 and graduates from secondary
school in June. Here you begin secondary school at 16 and graduate at 20. She is studying to be a
medical technician- but she can do a lot of a nurseʼs job. The school is a boarding school in Gitega, but
currently the 20 girls live in a small house across the road- they are currently serving in the hospital here.
Alida is a very bright girl with great enthusiasm. She LOVES the boys. Her English is good- she is
teaching me a lot about the culture here. She really wants to go to Hope Africa University(HAU), but the
school is $400/year for 4 years and then $3,000 for the last 3 years (the medical school is a 7 year
program which includes the undergrad course work)- and her father is a farmer. They probably make
around the average $300/year. In fact, to attend the boarding school itʼs about $30/term which she says is
VERY expensive for her family. I wish I could pay for her to attend HAU. I told her they sometimes have
scholarships for students- maybe she can look into it. I have been praying for her future- join me in
praying.
" Hereʼs a neat story about how someone was affected by generosity: The Ogdens (Dr. Frank-the
surgeon who was a missionary here on and off since the 70ʼs) paid for a young man to attend medical
school about in the 80ʼs- that man later worked as a doctor here in Kibuye (that was part of the deal as
there is such a need for doctors here). When the new president came into office the doctor was appointed
the presidentʼs personal physician and still currently works for the president. His son, Amable, is a
medical student that is here in Kibuye with us and will graduate in two years. They made a great
investment in the life of a man who was able to then create a better life for his children.
" Back to sharing about my new friends!! There are many other nursing students I enjoy being with.
The medical students are great as well. They came over last night and we played a really fun card game
all together. They are so enthusiastic and kind.
" I think the greatest thing that Iʼd like to recount from the week happened on Thursday.(Anything
you see in parentheses is Davidʼs addition!!) I was hanging out with the nursing students when Rodrigueone
of the med students said he was going to the hospital to find the key to his room (another student had
taken it) so I walked up with him. When we got there David was finishing up some work- another student,
Olivier needed to find his stethoscope and some of the students were playing with the boys so I went with
him. I have been around the hospital grounds a lot, but I hadnʼt been inside yet. As we walked down the
narrow dark hallway to go to the maternity ward I started to feel nervous- it really smelled (not that bad)
and I wasnʼt sure how people would react to my visiting. He invited me into the room where babies are
delivered- I walked in and saw the clay brick walls and floors with a metal table in the middle of the room
with stirrups coming up. Another room connects to this room where babies can be delivered as well. I
canʼt imagine what it would be like to deliver a baby in a place like that- I will never worry about the kind of
hospital I deliver a baby in again! We walked out into the hallway where a few women were lying on cots
while they labored. There were flies everywhere. Across the hall was the recovery room. Tied mosquito
nets suspend from the ceiling- and with the evening they can be untied and draped around the bed (never
used though). There were about 5 or 6 beds with new moms lying with their babies. They let me look at
their sweet children and I couldnʼt help but get teary eyed- they cannot imagine what I know to be
different. We walked into another room with about 10-13 beds. Not only were the mosquito nets
suspended from the ceiling but various beds were equipped with different fluids and antibiotics. I heard a
small whimper and Olivier asked the woman to lift up a blanket- there underneath about 5 layers of
blankets were the tiniest babies I have ever seen. Premature twins. They arenʼt latching and they have a
bad cough… like their mother. I need to pray that they make it through. (Update from a few days laterone
of the twins did not survive).There was another set of healthy twins… also a few other adults being
cared for. The hospital does not have running water and does not supply food- so just outside people are
cooking and doing laundry for their loved ones. There are no screens on the windows and it can be really
stuffy here- which is why there is smoke from the cooking and flies. Next we went down the hall to
another room of patients- same story- there was a child who was many symptoms, but they donʼt know
whatʼs wrong- and he is also HIV positive. I saw a child with tuberculosis as well. Then we went to the
menʼs ward- but there were more people than men. A small child with a femur fracture lies still in bed
sucking on some type of food next to her mother- there isnʼt a way to cast her leg- so the tiny 4 year old
will be in traction for about 4-5 weeks. For pain she gets Tylenol. Each patient that I visited was so kind
and thankful to have a visitor. Most already knew who I was- not only are we the only white people within
miles, but I take lots of walks- and the village of Kibuye is small. I was encouraged by their enthusiasm for
my small knowledge of Kirundi. I can communicate a very basic conversation and then with Olivier
translating we were all able to express ourselves. The experience in the hospital left me feeling so
overwhelmed- like sensory overload.
" David doesnʼt really tell me what itʼs like in the various hospitals he has been in- he mostly tells
me about the patients. I think heʼs been in enough third world hospitals to not be effected by the drastic
change. But I had never seen anything like this. I really wanted to share it with you all to express the
desperate need there is here. I feel like I cannot adequately describe what I saw. I hope to get pictures
one day- maybe if there is a room without patients in the next couple weeks… but currently the hospital is
full. I keep thinking about that book called “How Now Shall We Live” (I think thatʼs right!) Now that I have
seen this place I feel like I will never be the same. I never imagined a world without running water,
electricity… a place without doctors and medical supplies. Death is not to be feared, but expected. Even
among the educated and “wealthy” families- members die “young” of things like cerebral malaria. I have
been processing how I can continue to live in a way that honors the fact that our world is so unjust. If
there really are enough resources that the millions of children who die of hunger could survive, why do I
continue to buy the unnecessary? If we spent even half of what we spent on one hospital and used the
other half to supply 10 hospitals here- what kind of difference would that make? And what changes are
necessary here? Is it necessary to have running water in rural Africa? Cost effective? What kinds of
negative changes occur when westerners try to enhance a place? In Kibuye there is no fashion, no
television, no grocery stores. There is work in the fields, work in the home, and children to raise…. And
that is more than a dayʼs work….
" " On a more upbeat note we took the nursing students to Gitega yesterday. Itʼs really only
about 35 minute drive. The roads are loaded with pedestrians and bikes carrying more than I can fit in my
car! You have to honk when you drive past so they know to move over a bit! I am not gonna lie- itʼs a little
unnerving! We dropped Dr. Rusher off at the Cybercafe and went to the market. I saw lots of dead
animals covered in flies… I think I might become a vegetarian! Then we went to a small shack where I
purchased a few memento items from a kind woman. We saw the studentsʼ school and then drove back
to get Dr. Rusher. I ran in quick to check my email- I only had a couple minutes and the connection was
sooo slow… Remember the internet about 10 years ago??? Then we took the students to a restaurantbut
they were out of food- as in permanently. So we went back to the Cybercafe to eat at Antonios. I was
so relieved to see a menu with about 40 items…. Until the server said they only had one dish. Ragu
Chevre. Goat. No thanks, Iʼll take a coke! Dr. Rusher and David ate to their heartsʼ content- along with the
students- and then back to Kibuye we came.
" This morning there was a fight in church. A man with serious psychiatric problems began
punching another man and a woman was hitting him with her Bible- soon after a group of people escorted
them out of the church. I was really scared, but it was unwarranted and everything was fine after that.
" Pray for us. Pray that God would continue softening our hearts to His people. Pray for doctors to
come here- it is more than a sacrifice for them when they come from Bujumbura. Pray for the studentsmay
their hearts be softened to work in areas of need and not just the comfortable life in Bujumbura.
Olivier has expressed his desire to work in underserved areas like Kibuye- he is super quality and I think
a real leader on the horizon.
" Pray for the boys. Clayton is teething and they seem to get little bugs frequently. I think their
immune systems are getting strengthened for a longer return!! Sometimes the nights can be really long
and restless for us parents caring for sick little ones. Donʼt worry- itʼs nothing we canʼt treat.
" We love you all. Thanks for sharing in our experience. As you have read- we need your prayersand
so do the people here.
Namahoro,
David Adrienne Benny and Clinton (Yep, thatʼs how they pronounce their names!!)

Letter 3

2011-03-09T20:15:00.003-05:00

wiriwe Neza. Good afternoon! We hope you are all doing well. We are two weeks into our time here- in
some ways it feels like itʼs flown by and in other ways it feels like time is standing still. We have no contact
to the outside world- these emails are sent by a jump drive with a friend into the nearest city (1 hour
away)…. In fact, I hope you are receiving them because I have no idea of knowing!! If you want to save
some of the current events that are happening and email them to us as necessary when we return we
wonʼt be so behind…. Not that a lot happens in 6 weeks… but it would be fun to read up.
" Things are going well here. Weʼve had 3 beautiful days of bright sun. We are just south of the
equator- so when the sun is out itʼs really strong! Donʼt worry, Grandmas- the boys are wearing 50
sunblock! It has been nice getting to know the medical students. Some speak English very well. It is nice
to have them translate sometimes. The culture here is to hold one anotherʼs children and help keep them
contented. They really donʼt like a crying baby and will do everything to make him happy again. I think
they have met their match with Clayton! He is often handed back to me. I just smile. Itʼs so nice that they
like to hold the boys. They want pictures with them. They want to show their friends a picture of them with
a mzungo baby! I get yelled mzungo frequently… MZUNGO MZUNGO!! At first I was offended to be
yelled “white person, white person”- but I have since learned it is a calling of endearment!
" I have really connected with a few of the nurses. They are very sweet and fun to be with. They
love the boys and are eager to learn English. They came over last night and we had a nice time. They
have so many questions about the United States. They want to come and work there. They asked how
much a plane ticket costs- about $1000- which is more than 3 yearsʼ salary. Itʼs hard to talk about money
because you really canʼt compare the cost of things in the US to the cost of things here. In fact, when I
find a price of something here I tend to add two zeros to see what that would be like on a $30,000 salary.
So when itʼs no big deal to put 5000 francs on a phone card- thatʼs like spending $500 to them. (1200
francs is about $1- but I just do 1000 to 1). As you can see thereʼs no real good way to look at it because
itʼs just so different. The nurses like to see pictures of the United States and see where we are from. I
showed them pictures of friends and pastors in Detroit- they couldnʼt understand that Eric Russ isnʼt an
African- like a recent immigrant. They thought he had come from here- so we had to explain that his
family has probably been in the US for a couple hundred years…. But that they originally came as slaves.
The reality of our history broke my heart. When I think of the African slaves being exported to the various
countries and so many dying of diseases- the cultural differences- itʼs all very real- and very painful to
know that is our history. It took probably 10 min. to convince the girls that we have blacks in the US who
are Americans and not Africans… but once we spoke of slaves the room got quiet and everyone
understood. (A note to Eric- sorry if I inaccurately portrayed anything about your family- I was speaking
more of the collective history of African Americans in the US).
" There are 3 men who are around the majority of the day- Ezechiel is the cook and runs things
from in the house. He is a kind Christian man- the father of 5 beautiful children (1 set of twin boys!) He
and Bentley have become buddies- he is sooo sweet with him- and I REALLY appreciate the help. There
is no “baby jail” in Kibuye! Camaro hand washes any laundry and hangs it out to dry- he also “mows” the
grass by cutting it with a machete. Boteyi is in charge of the gardening and basic grounds keeping. He
has an issue with his leg and I am daily impressed with his work ethic considering the amount of pain and
inconvenience he is faced with by his leg. They all double as guards. It is so great to have them here- the
boys really like them and they keep me company.
" Dr. Rusher and David are often gone. Dr. Rusher is the only doctor here- and of course David is
close enough and can do just about everything with him- they double as teachers to the 16 medical
students. There is not enough time in the day to see every patient- Dr. Frank Ogden (surgeon) who was
a missionary who lived here for over a decade advised David and Dr. Rusher to do what they can in the
time that seems fair and to let God do the rest. It would be impossible to meet every patientʼs needs. That
is not the American way though- we see problems and we want them fixed, NOW! But if they did it the
“American way” they would eventually burn out and the boys and I would be on our own! I look at them
and I think it must take an extreme amount of faith in the Lord to trust that they are doing enough- and
that God will take care of His people. The difference in medical care here vs. any hospital in the US isnʼt
even comparable. It seems that at times a month or so will go by with no doctors in the hospital. If a
patient has an emergency they can seek a way to Gitega (1 hour away) or they can wait in a bed for a
doctor- or come back later. Dr. Rusher was surprised by the patience people have to be seen by a doctor.
They donʼt demand it, but wait in hopes of being cared for.
" The church service was 4.5 hours long on Sunday! It was a celebration week- the celebration of
baptisms, baby dedications, welcoming new members, music, etc… Four and a half hours is a long time
to keep 2 little boys happy. I ended up leaving a little early to put Clayton down- there came a point where
I couldnʼt keep him quiet- but Bentley made it through- we had help from a sweet medical student-
Ferdinand.
" I have made some friends in the house- lizards. Oh yes, lizards, lizards, lizards! I just canʼt get
used to them scurrying across the walls! I called Ezechiel in the boysʼ room today to get it out and he just
looked at me with his sweet accent and said, “Not bad,” and walked out! I guess I will have to get used to
them. In fact, even as I write this I see one on the wall. Dr. Rusher and David often remind me that they
eat insects and are good for the house…. Really!?!?!
" I feel very safe and cared for here. The people are so kind. I have less “followers” on my daily
walks as everyone is used to seeing us on a regular basis. I am learning some sentences! Abahungo
mfise babiri. I have 2 boys! I do like it here. Itʼs very beautiful and calm-although I do miss contact with
friends and family. We can see us coming here again- probably for a longer period of time. Weʼll see what
the future holds. I definitely need to learn more Kirundi or French if we do come longer! Also, coming with
another doctor and his wife (hint hint Scott and Kristen- or any of our medical friends!!) would help with
the loneliness. Perhaps even having older boys would be enough to make it a little easier!
" Thatʼs all for now! Thanks for continuing to pray for us. Pray for continued health (Clayton is
getting over bronchitis)- and that we wouldnʼt get any weird parasites! Pray that I will be able to learn
more of the language to talk with people- and that I would be a disciplined parent as I try to teach the
boys to be obedient. Pray for Dr. Rusher and David to be effective in the hospital- that they wouldnʼt take
on more burdens than they should. Also, please pray for the medical students – Dr. Rusher has them
watching a video series called The Truth Project- Hope Africa University has a statement of faith, but that
doesnʼt mean all the students are Christian. So pray for us as we seek relationships with them.
We love you all!
Amahoro,
David, Adrienne, Bentley, and Clayton.

Letter 2

2011-03-09T20:14:00.001-05:00

Itʼs Sunday evening at 10:30 PM and we thought weʼd send you an email with an update! Unfortunately
we havenʼt gotten over the jet lag yet! The last couple nights we have stayed up late hoping to avoid the
1-4 AM wake up period. Pray that we can get on this time zone!!
" We arrived in Kibuye on Thursday afternoon. The drive was beautiful as we basically drove up a
mountain to 6,000 feet. The mountain was lined with farms up the sides. There were few cars on the road
as gas costs about $7.50/gallon and the average annual income is about $300. Thus, the driver had to be
cautious with all the bikes and walkers climbing up.
" Kibuye is a small village. We have running water, but I think we are the only ones in town. Even
the hospital gets water brought up from the well. Also, most people donʼt have electricity. We are living in
the poorest area I have ever been to.
" The house is nice with a beautiful garden- both flowers and vegetables and fruit. The workers
take very good care of the area. Itʼs really beautiful- the climate here is perfect for green grass, exotic
flowers, and delicious foods. We stay in the house with Dr. Rusher as well. We eat all our meals together
and usually play a game or two after the boys go to bed.
" I spend the day with the boys- we get into all kinds of mischief! I have been taking them out twice
a day for walks. As soon as we leave the gate we are quickly followed and usually capture the attention of
about 50 people who will just follow us. They laugh at Bentleyʼs glasses and stare at his stroller! I enjoy
getting out and seeing people. I am starting to learn Kirundi. Itʼs a very difficult language! If you want to
say thank you, you say: urukoze. (u-roo-ko-say). I hope to continue to learn to say more than a few
words and form some sentences!
" I was able to go to a church service this morning. It was so great. The building is plain with brick
walls and bench pews. The music was beautiful. They had Dr. Rusher and I sit up front facing everyone- a
place of honor I guess. Of course I felt super awkward, but it was important to them to sit us there! David
wasnʼt able to come because the boys have been a little sick with colds (Clayton was just getting it when
we left- and now it has been passed to us all- and of course Bentley got it a little worse). The pastor
spoke about how we should trust Godʼs will over our own. He used an example about a man who wanted
to get married, but didnʼt want to marry the woman God had chosen… he wanted a woman who was
more beautiful, and I think she ended up leaving him or did something hurtful... Anyway, I started thinking
about Godʼs will in my own life. It has always been a dream to come to Africa- and I am so thankful to be
here…. But I will say itʼs not all butterflies and roses! Itʼs at times 24 hours without water, and unstable
electricity, and extreme poverty, and diseases… itʼs not being able to communicate and at times feeling
like I donʼt have anything to offer-itʼs trusting the Lord daily for the health of our family. I donʼt share these
things because I am unhappy or to complain, I share them to express how God is working in my life. God
gave me a heart for these things… but even though he did that doesnʼt make it easy! I have been learning
how to depend on the Lord more and more. When I wake up and when I go to sleep I seek him in prayerfor
us and for those around us. The slower pace and lack of stuff is slowly ushering me into His presence
and grace. So I guess I am saying, that itʼs not as easy as I thought it would be to follow the Lord here,
but itʼs truly worth it and my faith is growing because of it… and isnʼt that what we desire?
Anyway…
I will let David tell you about the hospital now!
Thursday January 20.
Our first full week in Kibuye came to an end today. I have been really busy in the hospital. There have
been somewhere between 100-120 patients in the hospital since we got here, many of whom had never
been seen by a doctor. We started out seeing patients the nurses thought needed special attention, then
over the last few days we have made our way through the entire hospital census. There are also around
a hundred clinic patients per day that are handled for the most part by nurses. For the first few days Dr.
Rusher and I rounded together, partly so that I could get used to the types of patients here and partly
because we really only ever could find one translator at a time. I wish I could speak Kirundi…or at least
French. Currently there are no Burundian doctors at the hospital every day. Hopefully however there will
be one arriving on Monday.
On Tuesday the medical students from Hope Africa University in Kibuye arrived. There are 16 of them.
They are in their 5th year of medical school out of 7 and are having their first clinical experience now. So
for the last few days, Dr Rusher and I have been rounding separately, each with a group of medical
students. I have been tasked with teaching physical diagnosis to the students, so they will all rotate
through my team. We have teaching time in the morning and then take plenty of time on rounds to teach
various skills as well as medical knowledge about the various diseases we see. It is fun to have a group
of enthusiastic students to work with.
" Here are some of the things that have worked out well…as far as I know I have more ultrasound
training than anyone else in the hospital (not that I have a lot) and that has been really useful. I have
diagnosed a variety of conditions…placenta previa, fetal demise, twin pregnancy, and pericardial effusion.
Pretty much every day there are a few ultrasounds to do after lunch. I also figured out how to tell
estimated gestational age on the machine. We have also been able to find a number of patients who had
not been receiving proper treatment for their conditions. For example, there was a three year old girl who
had been diagnosed with malaria by the triaging nurse and wasnʼt improving on anti-malarial medicine
because she had a pneumonia. So now hopefully she will pull through. There were also a number of
patients who had been in the hospital for more than a month (as many as six months) without any
improvement or change. We have made our way around to all those patients now and are trying to come
up with plans to get them out of the hospital. Today the lab received the materials to test for HIV so now
we can test people we suspect of having it.
" Some frustrating things: No good X-rays. I never appreciated the value of a good X-ray until all I
can get are washed out images that are next to impossible to read. No plaster. In the ward Iʼve been
rounding in there are two adults and one child with tibia fractures and none of them are in casts. One has
been laying in bed for 3 weeks without any immobilization. So Iʼve immobilized them and am waiting for
the plaster which I am told has been ordered. Osteomyelitis…infection of the bone. We have 10-12
patients with chronic osteomyelitis with draining sores and various degrees of bone destruction, and the
only real care they are getting is dressing changes. We donʼt have a lot of good antibiotic choices, but
even if we did, the treatment is surgery and we donʼt have an orthopedic surgeon. The only definitive
treatment is amputation, but it is hard to accept the idea of amputating a limb for most people.
Anyway, Iʼm enjoying myself, and Iʼm learning a lot. Iʼve had to read up on a lot of diseases. I just wish I
had brought more books. I found a 20 year old edition of Harrisonʼs Internal Medicine which is serving
me fairly well.
(Adrienne again!)
Thank you for your prayers we really appreciate them. Please pray for continued health and safety for us.
Pray that I can form a relationship with some of the women medical students who are arriving this week
from Bujumbura- they all speak English and it would be nice to have a friend (other than my 2 little
companions)!!
Love you all!
Amahoro, (peace)
David, Adrienne, Bentley and Clayton

Arrival in Burundi

2011-03-09T20:13:00.001-05:00

We have arrived! Safe in Burundi, staying at Hope Africa University for the night- which is in Bumjumbura- about 15 min. from the airport. The trip went great. We thought we were going to be stranded in Washington DC, and sat on the runway for about an hour and a half, but we made it out despite the snow. Clayton and Bentley successfully slept most of the way to Brussels, despite the little girl kicking the back of Clayton's seat and screaming at her parents. The last three hours on the plane to Bujumbura were tough, but we made it. I leaned forward in my seat so I could be the first one in our family in the Southern Hemisphere...When we arrived here there were lots of people waiting to greet us, including the bishop!. Thanks to great ticket agent help we managed to have four seats instead of three the whole way, so Clayton and Bentley each had a "bed". And all our luggage arrived in one piece. It's hot here. Tomorrow we head up country to Kibuye and gain about 3000 feet in elevation so the weather should be nice and comfortable this time tomorrow. They even had beds waiting for us, freshly made...with mosquito nets! Good thing because I forgot to pack my mosquito net.

Adrienne here! Just thought I'd add to David's email...The boys are already asleep and we're gonna shower and get to bed!

So we arrived to Bumjumbura in one of those huge planes- with 8 rows(not as big as our European flight, but still really really big!) Well, the airport is one terminal. So you walk down the stairs of the plane and you're standing right next to this huge huge plane on a runway that's totally empty from other planes! Then we just all walk inside go through customs- which first of all there is no "inside" everything is outside with some sort of barrier indicating it's separate from the "outside" then the customs is a round desk with 2 men reading and stamping passports- Then you walk by the desk and grab your luggage and they all go through one machine. It's crazy. It's like the airport lit up for our flight and then the aircraft took off once we were all checked in with bags, so presumably it'll "shut down" now.
It smells amazing here. I can't describe it. Clean I guess. We really didn't see many cars- mostly people walking. The roads were mostly dirt, I can't remember seeing pavement, maybe at the airport!
We had these cute little bananas as a snack. They're about 1/3 of the size of our bananas!
I can't wait to see Burundi in the daylight.

Praise the Lord the boys were AMAZING and we didn't have any issues- other than a few delayed flights...

We love you guys!

Adrienne

loving the rejected

2011-01-09T08:35:00.004-05:00

As I was driving home from Ann Arbor yesterday God laid this idea on my heart. I was at a baby shower for David's cousin, Nan, and was able to spend time with some dear friends. My good friend, mentor, role model, RuthAnn was sharing some things with me during the party that will help introduce this post. So we recently had a situation with the new house where a lawyer was needed- RuthAnn's husband, Kyle, teaches law at the UofM so we contacted him to see if he could help with our situation. He was able to connect us with a great lawyer who did give us some initial help. Anyway, he knows Detroit and knows the location of the new house to be in an "interesting" spot and shared some of his nervousness with Kyle- then Kyle was sharing how we are going to Burundi for 6 weeks- and then he said something about how not only do we have hearts to serve over seas in areas with very limited medical care, but when we come back we go to live in a dangerous part of our own country- where there is a great need for medical care. I am NOT saying this to praise ourselves or for you to praise- it's only an entry into the post!

So I was thinking about what RuthAnn was saying on my drive. I was thinking about all the things that we are passionate about and the things God has put on our hearts.... A few images came to my mind as I was driving... Bentley, friends in Detroit, and what I think I might see while in Burundi. I began to think about how Bentley is a rejected one. He isn't rejected as individual most days (although I do get crazy comments and questions!)- but his syndrome is rejected. 90% of Americans don't want to have a child with Down syndrome-- so I think it's safe to say he's a rejected one.

Next, Detroit. Detroit is a rejected city. It's a rejected city historically- all the whites leaving in the famously quoted, "white flight". Today most living in surrounding suburbs think we are crazy for living in the inner city- even around the country- but those living in a close proximity seem to have a stronger negative reaction- and mostly people I don't know but meet at the park or when I'm out. It's rejected by skilled workers- I get that there aren't a lot of jobs- but we DO have a need better social workers and teachers... and leaders in general. Usually when someone makes it out of Detroit for college and does well they don't return- and who can blame them- but think what an incredible influence a native Detroit person can have vs. people who move in!

Finally, Burundi. Burundi is a country that is in really bad shape because of decades of a civil war between the Hutus and Tutsis- yep, just like Rwanda, but a longer lasting war. Burundi doesn't have anything to offer the tourist- so most don't go- even all the beautiful national parks have been shut down for 10 years- I think.
God has brought these three places for me to love today only by HIS grace and HIS development of my heart. Bentley is a GIFT- I did nothing to receive a child with Down syndrome- All I ever did was follow the Lord's leading to love this beautiful child, and because we have Bentley I have become ultra passionate about children with Down syndrome and have developed a desire to advocate for their rights in school and to simply be given life.

The Lord led us to Detroit. He shut the door to stay in Tucson. It was our only option. We fled from Detroit for 18 months (which turned out OK because we do have a great group of friends in Ann Arbor- but we still fled). When God made it obvious that we needed to flee no more and come to the place He had called us- we went- and here we are. Upon arriving in Detroit, 2 years ago, all the issues of this city began piling up on my heart. I would never have realized the injustices and pain inflicted upon and occurring in this city if I hadn't come here. Once again, nothing I did- but what God has been revealing to me.
God gave me a heart for Rwanda 7 years ago when we went to see Hotel Rwanda on a date in the theater in Phoenix. I didn't want to leave the movie theater. I was sobbing. I had no idea this had happened- and it was that week that the genocide was declared in Darfur- and I just kept thinking- it's happening somewhere else. It has been a dream of mine to go Rwanda to be among the hurting- not that I can offer anything or do anything- but that I can face the pain and see the reality of sin and experience something beyond the superficial. It's not Rwanda that I get to see, but Burundi- a place right next door- with similar pains and histories. It's the place God is leading us.

I think it's good to stop every so often and reflect on what God is leading you into. For what things has he give you a heart for?
I think God has called us- all believers- to love the rejected. It's easy to love the glamorous things the world offers- but to love the rejected ones is really hard. First of all, it's really painful when you become so passionate about something that most people don't want to be part of. It breaks my heart when I know people who would terminate their baby if it had DS (yes, I have been told that). It breaks my heart that I can't get more people to come help us in Detroit- because I am PASSIONATE about seeing God change this city. And it breaks my heart that Burundi is in the state it's in- and there's not really much we can do- for sooo many reasons. It's also hard to love the rejected ones because it is a totally different course than most people go- so a lot of times I feel alone- or crazy- or both! As Christians this is our only opportunity to love and care for the rejected ones because when we go to heaven- there won't be any rejected or broken or poor! This is our chance to share that love that has been given us through Christ.
So stop and reflect today- who are the rejected ones that God has put on your heart to love and CARE for? Don't just be passionate about that- but ask God to lead you into action to care. It might be college students- or foster children- or immigrants- or someone with a handicap- or ....???? How can you share the love of Christ with that person or place?
I'll end with one of my FAVORITE verses from 1 Corinthians 1:

26 Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”[d]

May we continue to be a body of believers who love and serve....

3 focuses

2011-01-05T13:04:00.003-05:00

We leave for Burundi on Tuesday... I can't believe it! I am getting really excited. I will try to keep my blog updated with our preparations. :) I don't think we are going to have much internet access while in Kibuye, so I won't be updating as much as I had hoped.

I have decided to have 3 focuses while in Burundi that you can be praying for me in accomplishing:

1. Spending time with the boys. I would really like to train them in listening, playing nicely together, and giving them adequate attention.

2. Strengthening my knowledge of what it means to be a children's ministry leader. I bought 2 books from Amazon about children's ministry leadership and I am really hoping to learn more so that I can lead the ministry in better ways.
Book 1
Book 2

If you have any other reading suggestions please share them with me!

3. Learning more about what it means to open a preschool. I am not sure if I blogged about this earlier, but we I am seriously looking into opening a preschool. Bentley will start in the fall and there aren't any preschools in our zip code that he could attend. Also, children in the inner city need to be educated earlier by some type of system. I bought a book over break called, Whatever it Takes about the Harlem Children's Zone in Harlem, NY.

If you are interested in any level of educating children in the inner city this book is for you! I am really looking forward to reading this book again and I printed off pages of information about the program, as well as, other preschools to learn from.

Join me in praying for these specific things over the next couple weeks!

college buddies

2010-12-19T18:01:00.001-05:00

I went to the zoo with some friends of mine from GCU. We had a great time together. ;) Sarah is with Austin (she's 17 weeks pregnant with # 2), Michelle has Taylor, and Carla has Soren.

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having fun

2010-12-19T17:59:00.001-05:00

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no bad options.

2010-12-19T17:58:00.001-05:00

David is officially done with interviews!!! We can all exhale..... well sort of. :) In March we will found out exactly where we will spend the next 4 years. At this point, David has decided to rank DMC (Detroit) 1st and Banner Health (Phoenix) 2nd. They are both dual residency programs in internal medicine and pediatrics. I really don't care which program he goes to. I love the idea of staying in Detroit-we have our friends and church. But I also love the idea of going back to Arizona- even if it is Phoenix!!
Continue to pray for us as we await the official "match day"! Pray God would prepare our hearts for either city.

For now, I'm enjoying our time in the desert with family.

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fiji water

2010-12-01T18:47:00.001-05:00

So I was just listening to NPR on that water from Fiji. You know what im talking about- the cut square water bottles that say FIJI. Turns out the water really is from Fiji. 53% of people from Fiji don't have access to clean drinking water, but we can got to any vender and buy it ourselves. The good news is the company offers solid job training and employment. Ok, but 53% of their people dont have clean water. If we are so rich that we can get the water bottled andbrought across the world to drink maybe the company should charge us double and get those 53% of people some water. This kind of thing breaksmy heart... it really does.

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on Denver

2010-12-01T11:49:00.005-05:00

David and I had a wonderful time in Denver. We arrived on Tuesday morning at 7 AM and the boys were exhausted! We drove to David's aunt and uncle's home and the boys (and I!) took a nap. Then we drove down to Colorado Springs and went to this amazing zoo!. David and Bentley fed the giraffes while Clayton and I pet the giraffes like they were horses. It was so great!!! We hurried through the zoo because we didn't have a lot of time and it was COLD!
Then we went to a beautiful resort just down the mountain called the Broadmoor. We had fabulous dinner in a room that was designed to be like a garden filled with large trees, beautiful plants, flowers, and flowing water. It was serene.
Wednesday David had his interview and I took the boys to play at the Cherry Creek Mall. The mall didn't even open until 10 AM, but we arrived at 9:50 and there were already about 25 children climbing and running all over. Moms dressed in their knee high boots pushed their boutique strollers while holding a fashionable bag and hot beverage. Their attempt to look amazing didn't go unnoticed, but I did feel exhausted for them. The boys did have a wonderful time playing with the other children. I couldn't help but notice the whispers and stares at Bentley. In upwardly mobile and educated places his Down syndrome does not go unnoticed. I definitely wanted to outfit him in a shirt that shared his diagnosis so people would stop staring and just know! I'm certainly not uncomfortable with Bentley and his diagnosis, but I don't like the awkward feeling that comes when people stare. I usually combat it by engaging people and then sharing it when the time is right... but there are some people I just don't want to engage.
Wednesday evening I had the delight of driving out to my brother's new apartment and meeting his girlfriend. Keaton is almost 18 and has received his certificate of completion from high school. He's going to a special school in Denver that will certify him as a personal trainer. It was great to spend time with them.
Thursday we had a delicious Thanksgiving in Colorado Springs. David's cousin, Todd, lives there with his wife, Jenny, and 3 children (under the age of 3!!) Elijah-Hannah- and Elizabeth.
Friday we went snow shoeing in the mountains- sooo fun!
Unfortunately I got food poisoning Friday night- so Saturday was horrible! I am thankful for such wonderful husband who took both boys on the plane and let me sleep.

the boys

2010-11-21T08:23:00.004-05:00

I really should do a better job at capturing them on a more regular basis... I forget that photography is a passion and not an obligation or something to stress over! I do need to brush up on my knowledge of lighting... I'd rather fix it with a sweet image stabilizing lens, but can't afford it...so I should probably do some reading on aperture and the like. :)

Anyway, this was a recent Sunday in their room before church. I just love them!

My Daddy's gonna be a doctor!

2010-11-20T19:27:00.003-05:00

We had a potluck last week with the med. school crew. Unfortunately we don't see the group much anymore because 3rd year was so busy and now everyone is on different rotations. There are a variety of different types of medicine being chosen by the crew. Kory is going into emergency medicine, Keith (and Lindsay and Kale) is going to do be a GI doctor. Matt (Kerrin and baby boy on the way) is going to be an ENT, Chris (and Leigh) is doing family medicine, Scott (and Kristen) is undecided- either internal medicine and peds or internal medicine and family, and Justin (Jenny and Max) is doing ER.

I know none of you care, but it'll be fun to update you all when we find out where everyone is going. :)

So here are the sweet baby BOYS!!!

cottage trip September

2010-11-14T08:59:00.004-05:00

We had a great trip up North in September with Micah, Scott and Kristen.
One of the things that I really love about where we are at is that our boys are being loved by amazing Christ loving people. I love that these friends who are dedicated to justice, life, the inner city, and seeing communities transformed- and that they are pouring into my boys' lives. It's so great. :)

my friend, Davida and a plea for prayer

2010-11-14T08:49:00.002-05:00

This is my friend Davida. She is 20 years old. She has 2 beautiful sons- Josh who turned 2 last week, Dan who turned 1 a month ago, and a baby due in January. You do the Math.

Davida's mom lived next door to us for a year and we grew very close to the family. About 4 months ago Davida began coming to our house daily as we drove her to her GED classes and then she would spend the whole afternoon and evening here. I grew very close to her and we became great friends.

About a month ago she stopped coming over. This is related to a variety of different things- none of which I am going to post on my blog, but know that it wasn't drama...

I didn't realize that I had grown such a love and affection for Davida. I prayed for a year that God would give me the opportunity to love her and He totally did... and now I can't get her to text me back, let alone call. I try to callous my heart and move on, but the absence of her friendship is very painful.

Pray that God will break down the walls of her heart and allow us to grow close. Pray that she will choose Christ as her Savior and that she will rid of all the unnecessary drama. Pray that she'll see herself as a daughter of our King- that she'll give her life over and see herself as holy and pure.

And pray for me because my heart breaks for her.

the house

2010-11-13T23:41:00.001-05:00

http://picasaweb.google.com/Adriennelynne82/House

scattered thoughts and updates

2010-11-10T08:17:00.002-05:00

We have a lot going on here all at once so I better just do a clumped update to catch you all up!

On death...
David's grandfather passed away on Oct. 24th in Ann Arbor surrounded by his daughters, wife, and 3 grandchildren (David was one of the three). He had been in the hospital a few weeks and caught pneumonia. He had been battling a rare genetic lung disease for several years and his body just couldn't fight it this time. We went to the hospital a few times- we were able to take the boys before he was moved to ICU... the last 36 hours were quite powerful. David's grandmother didn't leave his side. His cousins and aunts lovingly took care of him. We all shared stories, and he gave advice. He was so encouraging. It was a very peaceful, God-honoring place. He was in a lot of pain and pleaded to go "Home". Grandma and Papa were married 62 years. They were a beautiful example of love and commitment. I am so thankful to have experienced such a profound event. It encouraged me to be a loving committed wife. Also, the experience shed light onto Papa's impressive career life. He was a landscaped architect who founded the firm JJR. Along with many other extensive accomplishments, he excelled. I had no idea he had done so many things. He met Desmond Tutu while in South Africa and was sent flowers from Billy Graham himself. All that is cool, but at the end of the day it was his family that surrounded his bed that morning. May it be a reminder to me and to us- that doing things for others- and having a good job are important, but it's our family that is with us in the end. That may be your biological family, your family by "law", or the family that God has give you in a church or community. The whole experience drew me closer to my family and for that I am thankful.

On Bentley and preschools....
I stayed in Ann Arbor for the week so that the boys could spend time with their grandma (David's mom). While there, I took Bentley to his old therapy location for the 2 year old program that they have- I wanted to see how different it was from what we do in Detroit. I can't believe how much better it is in Ann Arbor. It's totally unjust. Children with special needs in Ann Arbor receive exceptional services, care, and support. In Detroit it's like their trying to create an environment for children with special needs to learn, but it's chaos. All that to say, I am not going to pull Bentley or look for something better here because he does enjoy it and he is learning... but it does make me long for more. Because of unions and rules and this and that you can't really change the system... but I am still trying to figure out ways to alter things. So next year Bentley will go to preschool. There aren't any preschools in our zip code- and the real only option are Head Start preschools. I am not impressed with this option. So my friend Kristen Selle who is a special needs elementary teacher- might open up a preschool for typical and high functioning special needs kids next year. The first year would probably be a Co-op, but then we'd look for a real building if it works out. First, I have to convince Kristen and her husband, Scott (our old housemate) to stay in Detroit. He's currently doing the interview rounds and trying to figure out where he wants to go for residency. I hope they stay in Detroit because they are very dear friends of ours and I would genuinely miss them. Also, I really can't do the preschool without Kristen so there is a selfish element of wanting them to stay. We'll see. I think it would be really cool if they stay.
Back to Bentley!! He's doing really well. I really need to work on his speech now. I am trying to get him to pronounce syllables- I am really hoping to get this kid talking soon! He has about 30 signs, so he is able to communicate, but we need some words!

On the future living situation...
I have posted several times about praying for us in our decision about where we should be next year. It has been such a wonderful process. After some challenges from people we love and then thoughts from the current Galatians sermon series at church, we feel God allowing us to make this decision. We don't have this sense of God is calling us here or there... but more of Him graciously allowing us to live anywhere. After some serious consideration and prayer it looks like we'll be ranking Detroit as number one on the residency match. David interview for the Internal medicine/pediatrics residency program at DMC last week and loved it. It's a 4 year program. We have such a strong network of community and friends in Detroit. The next few years are going to be busier than the previous and I am going to be alone quite a bit, and we figured why would we start all over to build a network when we have one here that we love. Also, we love the ministry that we are part of. We love our church. If we moved, we would want to be part of a very similar ministry- so once again- why start all over? David still has some important interviews coming up- so we'll see what happens... but Detroit is looking like the most likely future home.

with that...

On buying houses at auctions
If we choose to stay in Detroit we have a house! It needs a lot of work. But it's a beautiful brick home on a corner HUGE lot. I love it. I haven't been inside :). But I love it! It's a block from the local elementary school and near many of my friends. I will post pictures later. We secured the house for unbelievably low price (if you know me well you can ask! :) Anyway, it's going to be a great place for our family.

So there's the Crawford family update.

more details

2010-11-04T09:18:00.002-04:00

So our friend, Joel, was just visiting Kibuye Hospital in Burundi. He's a family doctor in Spring Arbor. He's married to a physician, but currently stay at home mom to their 4 beautiful kids. Anyway, they were missionaries in Mexico City for awhile and are considering Burundi as a possibility for their future. So he was scoping it out for the family. Well, thanks to facebook I was able to download some pictures of the place we'll be going.
It's so great to have an idea of where we'll be!

Enjoy the pictures.

Kibuye Hospital (where David will be working)

water that comes from the Nile...

View from Hope Africa University (HAU)

tickets purchased

2010-11-03T22:08:00.005-04:00

We are so thankful to our church body here in Detroit for buying us the plane tickets to go to Burundi!! I thought I'd post the itineraries... it's sort of fascinating how far away Burundi is from us and how long it is going to take. We will be traveling 8,288 miles.
Anyway, thanks to this amazing travel agent, we were able to purchase the tickets for a reasonable amount using a missionary discount. AWESOME!

Detroit to Brussels Flight 1
Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Departure:
10:15
Arrival:
11:37
Washington, USA -
Dulles International
Duration:
1:22

Change of plane required. Time between flights = 6:25.

Flight 2 Tuesday, January 11, 2011 DC to Brussels
Departure:
18:02
07:25 +1 day(s)
Duration:
7:23

Brussels to Bujumbura Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Departure:
10:40
Arrival:
19:50

Duration:
8:10

RETURN

Bujumbura to Brussels Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Departure:
20:50
Arrival:
07:05 +1 day(s)

Duration:
11:15
Brussels to Detroit Thursday, February 24, 2011

Departure:
09:30
Arrival:
10:30
Frankfurt, Germany -
Frankfurt International

Duration:
1:00

Change of plane required. Time between flights = 3:20.

Flight 2 Thursday, February 24, 2011
Departure:
13:50
Frankfurt, Germany -DC

So if you made it this far... basically that's a lot of flying with 2 boys! Begin praying for our travels, please!!!

the finish line

2010-10-18T08:02:00.001-04:00

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the great run

2010-10-18T07:40:00.002-04:00

Awhile back my friend Kristen encouraged me to train for the half marathon with her. She's a running champ- and said she'd be my running partner. :) So we paid the money and signed up for the Detroit half and began training. We ran some- then she got married and went on her honeymoon and we went up north for a few weeks... then we got into a regular running routine. We had so much fun running together... it was great to be able to share so much about our lives on the runs. It definitely bonded us. So a little over a month ago I had a sore hip after a 5 mile run and then 2 days later was scheduled to do a 10 miler. Even though I was in pain I decided to run through it- we were up north on a BEAUTIFUL trail that took us through the back trails... amazing! Well, when we finished that run I was in SOOO much pain. I actually didn't lift the boys for a week. I kept them in the nursery upstairs and brought things up to them. It was so depressing! For the next 3 weeks I really didn't do anything beyond the norm... last week I did a lot of walking- an average of 4 miles a day- my car wasn't working and I needed to get out and see my friends!
So Saturday we went to the expo to get our stuff even though we weren't going to run.... well, we walked in and it's all about running. I felt the adrenaline kick and looked at Kristen-we knew we were gonna do it! So bought some discounted running clothes and planned our attack.... maybe we'd just walk it... or walk/run... we weren't really sure.

So 6 AM yesterday morning Kristen and Scott picked me up and we drove 2 miles to the start of the race. The morning was cool and it was still dark. There were about 18,000 other runners who signed up to race as well.... so lots and lots of people were downtown!
So you check your stuff in and then go to the "corral" where you get into the groups according to your pace. They let the handicap runners start first- they have this really cool hand bikes that allow them to do the course. Then the "A" runners start- the ones who finish before we finish the HALF! And then they let each group start within about 2 min of each other.

The best thing about the Detroit marathon is that you get to run into Canada. So around 7:40 AM we ran over the Ambassador Bridge- it's this beautiful suspension bridge that goes over the Detroit river- we were able to see the sun coming up over the horizon- views of downtown Detroit and Windsor, Canada... so beautiful! Then we ran a couple miles in Canada- and then we ran through the tunnel to get back into the US. The tunnel is 1 mile under the water- it's so stuffy and gross! It felt so great to come out of the tunnel and get fresh air! This was about mile 7- At this point we were both feeling great and decided to just run the rest of the race. (We had walked some in the beginning to save our bodies to finish the race). The race took us through Mexicantown and Corktown and then back downtown. Then the marathoners split from the half marathoners and we finish out the last .5 mile.

The race was soooo fun and I am so glad we did it! It was so great to have a goal to work towards all summer and then accomplish it.

So while we were running I told Kristen, "I had a baby in 2008, one in 2009, and ran a half marathon in 2010... not bad!?!?"

a decent article on money

2010-10-15T08:26:00.001-04:00

t's important to be financially responsible. Considering the fact that we haven't had an income in 3 years, you might want to avoid anything I have to say. :) I do think I've learned to be a "wise" spender... Anyway, I think that this article does a good job at looking at how and why people spend money and how they could save. I would like to add my perspective too. In my travels to foreign countries, and in living in Detroit, I have seen a great amount of poverty. And I know I can't fix this problem, but I do think I can enter into the pain of it and not be absent from the truth that people are actually poor and in need. So I continue to ask the questions.... How can we stop desiring for ourselves more and desire for equality? How can we stop looking to gain for "us" and "ours" and look for ways to help "them" and "theirs"? When did we divide the family of Christ... the community of Acts 2... into our individual family units? Can we go back to the church family God intended? I'd argue that he intended for us to live with our "arms wide open".... that he intends for us to literally take in people and help them with "our" money- and we all know that what's ours is really His. Which bring me to my next point... if all we have is really His... do we really live that way? Just askin'.

Anyway, enjoy the article.

My 10 Dumbest Money Moves -- And How You Can Avoid Them
by Stacy Johnson
Thursday, October 14, 2010

My 28-year-old niece and I were recently talking about money. She's (finally!) become interested in accumulating more and spending less, and because I've been in the personal finance business in one capacity or another since before she was born, she logically assumed that I've always done everything right and know exactly what to do at all times.

Confession time: I've blown it big on more occasions than I care to mention. In fact, most of what I've learned about money I didn't learn in books or by being a CPA, stock broker, or financial reporter. I learned it the hard way — by making stupid decisions and missing opportunities.

So for her sake, and maybe yours, I've put together the following list of 10 mistakes — most of which I've made — that you really should try to avoid.

1. Not having a goal

Whether sitting in your car or standing at the airport, you'd never start a trip without a destination in mind. The same logic applies to money. You should decide exactly what it is you'd like to accomplish, then remind yourself of that goal early and often. Are you trying to buy a house? Become self-employed? Save for your kid's college education? Retire in your 50s? Whatever it is, write it down, picture it and share it with anyone else who you're counting on to help you accomplish it. Your goal isn't money — money's paper. Create goals — both short-term and long-term — then decide how much money you'll need to reach them. Take it from someone who wandered aimlessly for years: goals work.

2. Not having a spending plan

If you have a job of any kind, you can bet that your employer tracks every dime they make and every dime they spend. Granted, they have an incentive to do so — both income and expenses affect their income taxes — but it's only logical to want to know where your money is coming from and where it's going.

Tracking and categorizing your expenses with a budget — or spending plan, as I prefer to call it — is the single greatest tool you have to accomplish your money-related goals. A plan that includes what you intend to spend on things like entertainment, food, housing, etc., vs. what you actually spend allows you to fine-tune your finances and find places to save. Not doing this is like driving with your eyes half-closed: You might reach your destination, but you're certainly going to take more time getting there.

If you're not writing down every penny of money coming in and money going out,

go to this page and download one of many free budgeting worksheets we link to there. Then read 4 Reasons Budgets Fail and How to Create One That Won't.

3. Attempting to derive self-esteem from possessions

Although we all know that money doesn't buy happiness, very few of us act that way. Instead, we seem to go out of our way to appear successful by driving the right car, living in the right house, and wearing the right clothes. Nothing wrong with nice things — if you can afford them.

But here's something that life has taught me. It's a quote from my most recent book, Life or Debt 2010: You can either look rich or be rich, but you probably won't live long enough to accomplish both.

Attempting to derive self-esteem from possessions is dumb on two counts. First, it's expensive.

More important? It doesn't work.

4. Doing what everyone else is doing

One of the world's wealthiest men, Warren Buffett, said, "Be fearful when others are greedy; be greedy when others are fearful."

During the recession-induced stock market rout that began in the summer of 2008 and bottomed in March of 2009, the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged all the way from 10,000 to 6,600. It was at that time that I bought most of the stocks I now own in my online portfolio. I didn't buy then because somebody on TV told me to — the "experts" were as fearful as everybody else. I bought then because I'd missed similar opportunities in similar downturns before, and I was determined to learn from that mistake this time.

Likewise, when the housing bubble was at its zenith, many of my friends were buying as many houses as they could possibly borrow for, even though it should have been apparent that prices were over-inflated. Now they're broke — and I'm shopping for real estate. Again, not because I'm smart, but because I've also missed that opportunity before. Hence this recent story Why You Should Buy Stocks and Houses Now.

It's common knowledge the economy runs is cycles of boom and bust — yet when times are good, everyone seems to believe that trees grow to the sky. When they're tough — like they are now — the same people stand like a deer in the headlights.

If you're convinced the economy is going to zero, buy guns and canned goods. But if you can reasonably expect a recovery some day, invest — even if that day is a long way away, and even if it's possible things could get worse before they get better.

5. Starting to save large and late rather than small and soon

If you're 25 and you save just 5 bucks every day ... call it $150 a month ... and earn 10 percent, by the time you're 55, you'll have $340,000.

If you wait till you're 45 to start accumulating that same 340 grand, you'll have to save $1,700 every month for 10 years. True, you can't earn 10 percent today, at least without risk.

But over time and by taking a measured amount of risk, you can.

6. Paying interest to buy things that drop in value

There are only two situations where paying interest makes sense, at least mathematically. The first is when the purchase goes up in value at a rate greater than the rate of interest you're paying to finance it. Example: You borrow money at 5 percent to finance real estate that you think might return 8 percent on your overall investment. Other examples might include a business loan or a student loan — in other words, something that's going to return more (at least potentially) than it costs in interest payments.

The other situation where paying interest makes sense is when you can earn more on your cash than you're paying in interest. Example: After taxes, I'm only paying about 3.5 percent to finance my house. Since I think can make more than 3.5 percent after-tax in the stock market, I'll forgo paying off the mortgage, even though I have the cash.

Obviously there are times when we have no choice but to borrow. The point is that unless the math works out, the less you borrow, the better.

7. Turning down free money

If your employer is offering matching money when you participate in your company's 401k or other retirement plan — and you're not participating to the extent necessary to get the full match — you're literally refusing free money, not to mention ignoring an opportunity to get a tax deduction and grow your retirement savings tax-deferred.

There are only two kinds of people who turn down free money: people who really, truly can't afford to put up the money to get the match, and people who aren't thinking it through.

And yes, I've been one of those people.

8. Buying a new car

Everyone knows that cars drop 15-25 percent before you get them home from the showroom. Which makes it odd that so many people continue to buy one. My girlfriend just bought a 2009 BMW that still smells new for $26,000 — about $7,000 less than a new one would cost, and they look pretty much identical.

This is one mistake I can happily say I haven't made — I've never spent even that much on a car — or owned one that new.

If you're buying a car for transportation, it doesn't have to be either new or fancy. Cars are depreciating assets: the less you spend on one the better, especially if you're borrowing money to do it.

9. Buying more house than you need or can afford

It's practically gospel: spend 25 percent of your gross income on a mortgage, regardless of what size house you really need. While spending the maximum possible amount you can afford will make real estate agents happy, will it make you happy? When you buy more square feet than you're going to actually live in, you're required to insure them, furnish them, clean them, heat them, and cool them. All of that costs money, time and stress.

Buying a big house makes sense if you're trying to make a leveraged bet on the future of housing prices — or if you're trying to impress your friends.

If you're not doing either, buy what you need and put the money you save into more productive things, like meeting your financial goals.

10. Not protecting your good credit

Credit is like lots of things in life: simple to screw up, a bear to fix. And even though you may think it doesn't matter, some day it might, and probably will. If you've already messed up your credit, take the time and steps necessary to fix it and then keep in good shape.

That was my list of dumb moves to avoid, but I'll bet there are plenty of things that you could add. So let's hear it!

___

for jane

2010-10-15T08:03:00.001-04:00

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child rearing update numero uno

2010-10-12T16:47:00.002-04:00

I'm excited to share that Bentley is doing much much better! The pulling of hair has completely ceased. Exhale. He's listening so much better. He still beats up on Clayton a little bit, but we're working on it! He's also into the "helper" stage and he tries to mimic what I do- and he doesn't understand that I'm a bit more gentle when I do things- so he ends up pushing Clayton over. :)

Anyway, I just wanted to say that things are much better. :)

birthday reload

2010-10-12T16:40:00.002-04:00

So apparently when you blog from your phone you can't edit that post on your computer. Weird. Anyway, here's the pics from my birthday. Thanks, Scott!

Burundi Bound-update!

2010-10-11T09:02:00.005-04:00

So the four of us will be flying to Burundi for a 6 week stay in Jan/Feb. I am sooo excited to go! You can see Burundi is just south of Rwanda. It's a tiny little country.

View Larger Map

We will be flying into Bujumbura and driving to Kibuye. I couldn't find it on google maps. It's located at 6000 feet in rural Burundi.

I love to travel and see the world. I guess it's in my blood. Thanks, Dad! I grew up seeing his slideshow of the 8,000 mile bike trip (a ROAD bike in 1975!)- from Detroit, MI to LA Paz, Bolivia- so it's been a part of who I am-
David and I had hoped to have a 2nd child that would be a year old -to get required vaccinations for this trip- and Clayton was born 6 days before the estimated deadline of "end of December 2009". Seriously. It really did work out that way.
So here we are- 2.5 months before departure- trying to plan it all out. It will be about a 25 hour flight journey- so this could get really interesting. :) I'll definitely have to blog!

Anyway, here's our support letter- and we'd love for you to join us on this journey in whatever capacity- excitement, prayer, funds- we welcome it all!

Dear Friends and Family,

As most of you already know, we are headed to Africa this winter. We will be spending 6 weeks in Kibuye, Burundi. This is a trip we have been planning for several years. I am currently in my 4th year of medical school. There is a shortage of medical professionals at Kibuye Hospital and in Burundi as a whole. So I will be working with the doctors there to bring quality medical care to the patients. Adrienne will be taking care of Bentley and Clayton, and helping out in whatever way she can with the children’s program run by World Relief. In addition, this trip hopefully will give us broader exposure to the medical needs in poorer areas in the world to enable us to see what role we can play in bringing medical care to people in need.

I will be working at Kibuye Hospital, an 82 bed general hospital in a population area of 250,000 people. There are 10 health centers that refer to Kibuye and have radio contact with the hospital for service by the ambulance. Hope Africa University (HAU) in Bujumbura has established a Health Sciences division for training nurses and doctors. Kibuye Hospital is one of three teaching hospitals for the HAU medical school. In addition to general medical services, Kibuye Hospital has a program of outreach into the community to help the handicapped (particularly the blind); a child survival program run by World Relief; and a small factory that produces a high protein cereal to prevent and treat malnutrition.

We would like to invite you to partner with us in this trip. We need your prayer. It is not going to be an easy trip. I will be working long hours at the hospital. It will be our first long international trip with the boys. Would you join us in prayer? Pray that God uses this trip to help us to define the role that foreign missions will have in our lives going forward. Pray that God uses us to meet needs in Burundi, that we can be of service to the people and the mission there. Pray that we advance the cause of Christ by our service in Burundi. Pray for health and safety--Burundi is not an especially safe country to visit. Pray for the people of Burundi, that the work of Christ would be done among them.

In addition, we would like to invite you, to join us in funding this trip. Travel to Africa is not especially cheap which is one reason we have elected to go for six weeks instead of 3-4 weeks. We would also like to be able to leave a financial gift with the hospital when we leave to fund further operations there.

Love
David and Adrienne
and Bentley and Clayton

If you would like to donate, please send a check made out to FMWM (Free Methodist World Missions) with Crawford-Africa in the Memo line to:
VISA Ministries
Attn: Alison
PO Box 535002
Indianapolis, IN 46253

To support by credit card, click here

the american drive

2010-10-02T21:09:00.004-04:00

So lots of my friends have started blogs called 101 things in 1001 days. Basically, they come up with 101 things they want to accomplish like cooking 7 days in a row, or finding a new restaurant, or organizing a room, etc... They're really fun to read. I've thought about doing it too, but it's just not my style. I'm working on 101 things in 1001 days/10= 10.1 things in 101 days! I'll let you know when I start. :)
Anyway, I was just thinking about what kinds of things I'd like to have on my list and I was thinking about goals that I might have- my life is completely part of our church here in Detroit. I am developing the children's ministry, discipling 2 women, being discipled, community dinners, and the list goes on. I love it! So my goals would be part of seeing those things develop. So one of the things I really long to see is someone I have loved and prayed for come to know Christ... this could be one of a few different people... it's sort of weird to put that on a list of things I want to accomplish because we all know that it's Christ who calls us to Him- but at the same time I am called to pursue people. So I am caught up in this awkward place- the desire to see God's kingdom come and the knowledge that it's God who does it.
I think what God is revealing to me is that I don't "hunger and thirst for righteousness" (Matthew5:6) the way Jesus teaches us. Like my desire to see a ministry grow and for people to come to know the Lord should be greater than my desire to find new places in Detroit, but it often isn't. Of course I would say it is, and my heart wants it to be... but it's a struggle.
So what would happen if we made a list of righteous things that we want God to do and prayed about it for 1001 days or 101 days or even 1 day- what would happen? What if I earnestly desired and prayed for God's will to be done in a friend's life the same way I spend time researching opening up a preschool or finding places to take the boys? What if I spent even a fraction of the time pursuing holiness rather than facebook status' updates?
I think as Americans we have an inherent drive for success and to get what we want. It's been marketed to us since we were babes: We can have what we want, when we want it, and how we want it. I have believed that... although years of "failures" can damage that dream, it's still present in our society.
So let's take that American drive and use it for the glory of God. Let's make our total focus bringing light to darkness. Let's be among the poor, the broken, the downcast. Let's pray prostrate for our friends to know the deep love of Jesus.
Let's take the very thing that I struggle with, the american drive, the ability to tumble and climb over every obstacle-no matter the cost- and use that same persistence- same dedication- and transform ourselves into servants of Christ- in pursuit of holiness.

what's with the potlucks?

2010-10-01T19:02:00.002-04:00

I learned a lot from our dear friends at The Village in Tucson, AZ. Our pastor and his wife live in a community house and they had us over a few times a week while we lived there. This experience changed my life. I was able to be part of a larger "family." Sue made the most delicious food and I was always greeted with bright smiling face- people who had genuine concern for my life. We sat around this huge wooden table (that was BUILT in their house)and shared our lives. It was such a refuge when I was teaching. I never imagined God was using these experiences to train me in righteousness:

When David and I lived in Ann Arbor we started a potluck with our dear friends Dale and Julie. The church had this great building on the property called "the lodge". So every Thursday we invited the GYP's (Grads/young/professional) group to join us for delicious eats. The purpose behind the potluck was to include people from all different places in life to come together once a week and eat together. There are some great things that happen over a meal. I loved our Thursday night potluck at the church. We laughed together, cried together, and did life together. It was so fabulous! After dinner we'd go to the basement and rock climb, and some would stay late to watch The Office... So Dale and Julie had one kid at the time, and one on the way and there came a point where it was too difficult to drive in, so they decided to stop coming. Later David and I decided to move to Detroit and so also had to leave the potluck. But here's the beauty in all that: I am happy to say that 2 years later the potluck lives on! This should be our desire whenever we are part of starting something new.... that it would continue ESPECIALLY in our absence. I think it's a testimony of a couple things: first when there is a need and you are part of developing the solution to the need- if it's "for real"- it will last- it's a great mark of leadership- that you were able to delegate and create a self-sustaining group.So praise be to God that the pot luck still meets at Huron Hills Church in Ann Arbor, MI.

A couple weeks ago at dinner Chris and Leigh shared their hearts during "house night"- they fear that when David and I are in Arizona and then Africa (Dec-Feb) that they'll miss seeing the neighbors regularly. They struggle to engage people- but when people are around they do engage. Does that make sense? So anyway, they suggested a pot luck that we would host at the house and invite our neighbors. It is with great excitement that I can share we are 2 weeks strong in this initiative! We had about 15 people hold hands as we prayed over our meal last night.It's so great because once again it isn't about us and our agenda- it's about being facilitators of a need that already exists. We've lived here for over a year now and have had some solid time to engage with our neighbors- and it's so much fun to start going deep.

I love potlucks. I love food. And l love people. So this is good, it fits... and God is working in the VDP hippie commune. :)

2010-10-01T18:57:00.002-04:00

So I turned 28 on Monday. Crazy! I had a great birthday! We do birthday dinners at our house- no need to go out when I live with amazing cooks! So Chris made my requested steak soup- it's amazing! David picked up bread from Avalon- which is a delicious bakery in Detroit, Leigh made a salad, Kristen and Davida decorated the table with beautiful flowers, and Micah and Scott did the dishes. We had a lot of fun! Also our friend Deborah-Naomi joined us for dinner and then watched the boys so we could bowling. We went to the Majestic in Midtown- it was great!

I felt very loved by my friends and it was a great celebration! I will have to get some pics on here soon!

my new favorite song

2010-09-21T06:55:00.003-04:00

I love pandora radio- it introduces to me to new songs all the time.
So I have a new favorite song. Incidentally it's by Hillsong- a group I was never super crazy about. But there's a set of lyrics that jerk my heart heart every time I hear them:
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Neverending, your glory goes beyond all days

I love the word, "when"- a reminder that it all will fade- whatever isn't rooted in Christ. It's not "if" or "in case" it's WHEN.

I also love the word light- I love when light shines over things and makes them beautiful and luminous.

Maybe I'll do some posts on the use of the word "light". Hmmm.... thoughts thoughts thoughts...

a new shift in parenting

2010-09-20T12:10:00.003-04:00

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

This Proverb is very confusing to me because I have known people who have turned away from their parent's teaching. I want to believe it, but I have doubts. But I have doubts about a lot of things I read in the Bible- and I think that's normal. I think God is asking me to trust Him and His word in the midst of my doubts. I think that's why we call it faith.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1

So back to that Proverb.

As I raise my boys I am learning that God is asking me to raise them in a certain way. I think what pleases Him are children who respect their parents .
1. Ephesians 6:1-3
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

This is important because as we learn to respect our parents, we learn to respect teachers, elders, etc...
And then as we get older we learn what it means to be obedient to the Lord.

I wonder if that verse that says, "work out your salvation with fear and trembling" (Philippians 2:12) is easier to do when we've learned to be obedient because the idea of reading God's longings with "fear and trembling" is the same idea of obeying our parents. Does that make sense?

Anyway... what I really want to share today is about me. But I wanted to share the foundation- being that I want my children to love the Lord and be obedient to His will for them.

So Bentley has some bad habits forming- he pulls hair... softly touches your hair, 1, 2, 3, and then all the sudden YANK! I have flicked his wrist, and pulled him away from the situation- but it's getting worse, not better.

He also hears me call him, "Bentley! Come here..." And then walk the other way. So I go grab him.

And then there's the glasses- "Bentley, please leave your glasses on..." He looks right at me, pulls them off, throws them on the floor, points and says, "Oooohhhh...."

Oh and then there's his brother- he pulls out his pacifier, pushes him over, pulls his hair, and steals his toys.

There are lots of other situations- but these are my greatest struggles with him.

I have been really trying to discipline him in these areas, but it is NOT working. I am losing control in my home... and he is only TWO! Children don't want to play with him because he pulls their hair.... and it's breaking my heart.

I have been making excuses- he doesn't understand- he will get over this- it's a phase. But months are going by, and it's getting worse.
David's mom came to take care of Bentley and she gave me this really sweet little book she wrote with David when he was 1-2 years old. She wrote what he was doing and the things they did together- it was so fun to read it! Well, in the book there were some things he was disciplined about, namely spanked. And as I was reading his developmental process I was reading about how his parents were teaching him boundaries. And they were strict- way stricter than I am! And I totally felt convicted.... It all clicked. I have been saying Bentley doesn't understand- when I know he DOES understand and allowing him to get away with behavior that is unacceptable. And I realized that my sweet boy is going to need more than the average kid- he needs more time to learn something- more time with me- and more discipline- being reminded over and over again.... he needs me to EXPECT MORE FROM HIM! How can I help shape him into an adult that is respectful, listens well, and understands expectations if I am constantly making excuses for him?

I was sharing these things with my friend Lisa yesterday and she said she's been thinking about these things too for her kids (2 and 4 months)- she said a woman shared with her recently that the realty of discipline is asking yourself, "What kind of home do I want?" Do I want a home where I make different meals because my children won't eat what's served? Do I expect my children to behave in a certain way? Do I teach children how to have they're quiet time? These are things that require us to shape and mold our children into... they don't just figure it out- but they are loved and disciplined into these expectations.

So I encourage all my friends who are mothers- and mothers to be-and mothers they hope to be- to be thinking about these things- and praying over these things.

I ask too that you would be praying for me as I take on this new task of cracking down on some of these poor behaviors.

May we raise a generation of children who are respectful and fear the Lord. :)

2010-09-17T18:14:00.000-04:00

I put this on my facebook- but I think it deserved a blog post!!

So David and I were shopping at Meijer for our groceries for our weekend up north. We have a large cart so Bentley could have a special seat while Clayton could sit in the front of the cart- so I'm off to the side leaning on our cart and David comes over with another cart and a lady following him- "excuse me sir, that's my cart." And he looks so confused- but sees me and the boys with the large cart and realizes what he's done! So he hands her the cart and I just gave him "the look"... And he says, "What I'm trying to shop." And I ask, "Oh and you can't keep track of the cart!?"

Oooohh David ;)
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

CCDA workshop 1

2010-09-16T14:07:00.004-04:00

Modern-Day Orphans: Children of Inmates

Let's take a second to read that title again. The idea that children are separated from their parents by prisons should break our hearts. I don't care if their Mama or Daddy did a horrible thing- it should break our hearts to know that children are without a parent. Studies show that it doesn't matter how horrible a parent is to a child- or to society- we inherently want Mom and Dad- and we are broken when they are absent.... no matter the circumstance. So as we learn more about this ministry, may we praise God for what He is doing in this ministry and pray for children who have a parent(s) in prison. Also, know this ministry is aware when a parent is incarcerated for a child- related crime- and obviously a different route is taken with those children. But we can still grieve the loss of the child/parent relationship God intended for us. Amen? Amen. :)

National FACTS:

*In 2007, there were 1.7 million children with a parent in state or federal prison
*Up to 7 million children have a parent in prison, local jails, or on probation/parole
* From 1995-2005 the number of incarcerated women rose 57%, and men rose 34%

Where are the kids?
80-90% live with Mom, if Dad is incarcerated
30% live with Dad if Mom is incarcerated, and 50% will live with a grandmother
*The rest go somewhere else, and 10% are in foster care

South FLORIDA SNAPSHOT:
*15,000 children in MIAMI live with an incarcerated parent
*Another 8,000 in Fort Lauderdale
(23,000total)
*Overwhelmingly are minorities (Black, Hispanic, and Haitian)

THE DEVELOPMENTAL IMPACT OF A CHILD:
* When a parent is arrested the entire family "does time"
*Psychological- fear, trauma, anger, disappointment
*Financial (loss of family income)
*Social (isolation, shame)
*Children of incarcerated parents face:
*Poverty, instability, reduced access to sources of support, anxiety, traumatic stress, embarrassment, and shame.

(Read those words again. We're talking about children. This seriously breaks my heart).

Because of those feelings, children might misbehave:
**Internalized behaviors: anxiety, withdrawal, hyper-vigilance, depression, shame and guilt.
**Externalized behaviors: anger, aggression and hostility to caregivers and siblings.

If MOM is incarcerated:
*Mothers are more likely to have lived with their children than fathers
*Female prisoners serve an average 49 months in state prison and 66 months in federal prison

If DAD is incarcerated:
*When the father is arrested, mothers assume or maintain care giving responsibility 90% of the time
*Men serve an average of 80 months in state prison and 103 months in federal prison.

That's 6-9 years... that's a big chunk of a child's life.

This traumatic experience often pulls the child away from their normal developmental path.

Impact on School Achievement
*Home and school displacements contribute to instability
*Difficult maintaining an academic learning environment
*Less likely to develop meaningful relationships with others thus forming social barriers

Developmental Stages
0-4 years
*Development of trust and attachment for infants 0-2 years old is affected by impaired parent-child bonding
*"Terrible two's"- the sense of independence (saying "No") and initiative ("I can do it myself!") for 2-6 year olds is affected.

5-10 years
*Supposed to develop a sense of accomplishment and ability to work independently, instead it become a period of developmental regressions and poor self concept
*Experience a period of acute traumatic stress reactions, and an impaired ability to overcome future trauma

11-14 years
*Supposed to develop the ability to work productive in groups and to control the expression of emotions
* Instead can be characterized by rejection of limits on behavior and trauma-reactive behaviors

(Kids don't learn to attach to people- they disconnect- and this contributes to the cycle of incarceration-)

15-18 years
*Supposed to become competent as they learn to strike a balance between individualization and a sense of belonging
*Instead, MORE boundary-testing, as impact of parental incarceration tends to lead to the rejection of limit setting by other adults.

Losing Interest in Education
*Adolescent children of incarcerated mothers are 3x more likely than their peers to drop out of high school
*Compared to incarcerated fathers, mothers report that their adolescent children had more trouble with the law as interest in school diminished

What helps to Restore:
*Feeling of being connected to a family structure reduces teh likelihood of the adolescent engaging in deviant behavior
*Kind, stable and supportive care promotes strong connections to school, pro-social peers, and family

THE MINISTRY: SERVICE FOR CHILDREN OF INMATES

*Partnership of 8 agencies
*Geographically dispersed
* Ministry is five years old

So now let's look into what they're doing:

Where they get the children:
-Referrals from parent in prison
-Community events outreach
-Social media, other print/broadcast media stories
-Website, hotline telephone
-Phone calls, letters, and home visits
-Connect to Dept. of Corrections- so the ministry worked for 2 years to get a question on the survey that inmates are given at time of intake that says, "Do you have children? Who do they live with? Can we visit your children and provide services?

I love that last part! They fought and fought to have that question added to the intake form- and it has helped them connect with these kids!

Key principles of the ministry:
1.Child-focused, 2. Include the caregiver and family 3. Re-build the bonds with the incarcerated parent (if possible)

What does that mean?
Child-Focused:
Safety first: food and housing
Meet as many needs as possible: afterschool or tutoring help, mental health counseling, school uniforms, school supplies, and spiritual needs
Provide other support services, when possible: mentoring

Include the Caregiver:
Provide what they initially ask for (remembering our agenda isn't always best)
Build a relationship of trust
Allow them to say no to services
Invite them to new opportunities as they arrive
Coaching caregiver in parental skills

RE-Build the bonds-
*BONDING VISITS: Bus trips to the prison/jail
*structured and unstructured activities for the parents and children to do during the visit (art, lunch, games, etc...) This happens 4 times a year
*parenting tips provided to inmates
*family photo time
*surveys and observations- volunteers are taking notes and watching the interactions between parent and child- this is both for $$ from the gov't to fulfill their data, and for safety reasons, and to encourage those bonds in positive ways
*Provide fun outlet AFTERWORDS for the children- so they usually go out to eat and do something FUN after the visits- because they can be extremely difficult... also, some of the trips drive 5 hours to the prisons- so this is an all day event- and they want to make it fun

*Expression support groups (writing letters to mom/dad, drawing, and pictures
*Video visitation to supplement bonding visits- they have found this to be extremely effective and encouraging, but it took YEARS to get the prisons to allow the video equipment in to make this happen

*Importance of CONTACT time (BEING ABLE TO TOUCH MOM or DAD)
*Normalizes the relationship
*Assured child that parent is safe
*Re-builds the parent/child bond that was broken
*Allows for emotional expression
*Assists with family re-unification in the future

CHALLENGES of the MINISTRY:
*Distances and transportation to facilities $$$$$$
*Caregiver reluctance
*Screening/processing hassles at prison
*Each prison has different leaders and rules
*Parent manipulation
*Transportation to video visitation (usually happens at the churches)

REWARDS
*More than 1,000 children have been FOUND (Often times, when parents are taken into prison/jail, they don't know where the children end up- and more often than not- nobody was keeping track of these kids)
*700 children are receiving coordination services
*50 prison bonding visits in August 2010
*Surveys indicated reduced child aggression\
*Only one child arrested so far- breaking the cycle
*Local and national media attention

So I can't elaborate right now in my own words- but I think you get the idea of what they're doing- I am happy to answer questions too--- or check out their web page!!!

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2010-09-15T15:26:00.000-04:00

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