more details

So our friend, Joel, was just visiting Kibuye Hospital in Burundi. He's a family doctor in Spring Arbor. He's married to a physician, but currently stay at home mom to their 4 beautiful kids. Anyway, they were missionaries in Mexico City for awhile and are considering Burundi as a possibility for their future. So he was scoping it out for the family. Well, thanks to facebook I was able to download some pictures of the place we'll be going.
It's so great to have an idea of where we'll be!

Enjoy the pictures.

Kibuye Hospital (where David will be working)


water that comes from the Nile...






View from Hope Africa University (HAU)

tickets purchased

We are so thankful to our church body here in Detroit for buying us the plane tickets to go to Burundi!! I thought I'd post the itineraries... it's sort of fascinating how far away Burundi is from us and how long it is going to take. We will be traveling 8,288 miles.
Anyway, thanks to this amazing travel agent, we were able to purchase the tickets for a reasonable amount using a missionary discount. AWESOME!




Detroit to Brussels Flight 1
Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Departure:
10:15
Arrival:
11:37
Washington, USA -
Dulles International
Duration:
1:22

Change of plane required. Time between flights = 6:25.


Flight 2 Tuesday, January 11, 2011 DC to Brussels
Departure:
18:02
07:25 +1 day(s)
Duration:
7:23

Brussels to Bujumbura Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Departure:
10:40
Arrival:
19:50

Duration:
8:10


RETURN

Bujumbura to Brussels Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Departure:
20:50
Arrival:
07:05 +1 day(s)

Duration:
11:15
Brussels to Detroit Thursday, February 24, 2011

Departure:
09:30
Arrival:
10:30
Frankfurt, Germany -
Frankfurt International

Duration:
1:00

Change of plane required. Time between flights = 3:20.


Flight 2 Thursday, February 24, 2011
Departure:
13:50
Frankfurt, Germany -DC


So if you made it this far... basically that's a lot of flying with 2 boys! Begin praying for our travels, please!!!

the finish line

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the great run

Awhile back my friend Kristen encouraged me to train for the half marathon with her. She's a running champ- and said she'd be my running partner. :) So we paid the money and signed up for the Detroit half and began training. We ran some- then she got married and went on her honeymoon and we went up north for a few weeks... then we got into a regular running routine. We had so much fun running together... it was great to be able to share so much about our lives on the runs. It definitely bonded us. So a little over a month ago I had a sore hip after a 5 mile run and then 2 days later was scheduled to do a 10 miler. Even though I was in pain I decided to run through it- we were up north on a BEAUTIFUL trail that took us through the back trails... amazing! Well, when we finished that run I was in SOOO much pain. I actually didn't lift the boys for a week. I kept them in the nursery upstairs and brought things up to them. It was so depressing! For the next 3 weeks I really didn't do anything beyond the norm... last week I did a lot of walking- an average of 4 miles a day- my car wasn't working and I needed to get out and see my friends!
So Saturday we went to the expo to get our stuff even though we weren't going to run.... well, we walked in and it's all about running. I felt the adrenaline kick and looked at Kristen-we knew we were gonna do it! So bought some discounted running clothes and planned our attack.... maybe we'd just walk it... or walk/run... we weren't really sure.

So 6 AM yesterday morning Kristen and Scott picked me up and we drove 2 miles to the start of the race. The morning was cool and it was still dark. There were about 18,000 other runners who signed up to race as well.... so lots and lots of people were downtown!
So you check your stuff in and then go to the "corral" where you get into the groups according to your pace. They let the handicap runners start first- they have this really cool hand bikes that allow them to do the course. Then the "A" runners start- the ones who finish before we finish the HALF! And then they let each group start within about 2 min of each other.

The best thing about the Detroit marathon is that you get to run into Canada. So around 7:40 AM we ran over the Ambassador Bridge- it's this beautiful suspension bridge that goes over the Detroit river- we were able to see the sun coming up over the horizon- views of downtown Detroit and Windsor, Canada... so beautiful! Then we ran a couple miles in Canada- and then we ran through the tunnel to get back into the US. The tunnel is 1 mile under the water- it's so stuffy and gross! It felt so great to come out of the tunnel and get fresh air! This was about mile 7- At this point we were both feeling great and decided to just run the rest of the race. (We had walked some in the beginning to save our bodies to finish the race). The race took us through Mexicantown and Corktown and then back downtown. Then the marathoners split from the half marathoners and we finish out the last .5 mile.

The race was soooo fun and I am so glad we did it! It was so great to have a goal to work towards all summer and then accomplish it.

So while we were running I told Kristen, "I had a baby in 2008, one in 2009, and ran a half marathon in 2010... not bad!?!?"

a decent article on money

t's important to be financially responsible. Considering the fact that we haven't had an income in 3 years, you might want to avoid anything I have to say. :) I do think I've learned to be a "wise" spender... Anyway, I think that this article does a good job at looking at how and why people spend money and how they could save. I would like to add my perspective too. In my travels to foreign countries, and in living in Detroit, I have seen a great amount of poverty. And I know I can't fix this problem, but I do think I can enter into the pain of it and not be absent from the truth that people are actually poor and in need. So I continue to ask the questions.... How can we stop desiring for ourselves more and desire for equality? How can we stop looking to gain for "us" and "ours" and look for ways to help "them" and "theirs"? When did we divide the family of Christ... the community of Acts 2... into our individual family units? Can we go back to the church family God intended? I'd argue that he intended for us to live with our "arms wide open".... that he intends for us to literally take in people and help them with "our" money- and we all know that what's ours is really His. Which bring me to my next point... if all we have is really His... do we really live that way? Just askin'.

Anyway, enjoy the article.

My 10 Dumbest Money Moves -- And How You Can Avoid Them
by Stacy Johnson
Thursday, October 14, 2010

My 28-year-old niece and I were recently talking about money. She's (finally!) become interested in accumulating more and spending less, and because I've been in the personal finance business in one capacity or another since before she was born, she logically assumed that I've always done everything right and know exactly what to do at all times.

Confession time: I've blown it big on more occasions than I care to mention. In fact, most of what I've learned about money I didn't learn in books or by being a CPA, stock broker, or financial reporter. I learned it the hard way — by making stupid decisions and missing opportunities.

So for her sake, and maybe yours, I've put together the following list of 10 mistakes — most of which I've made — that you really should try to avoid.

1. Not having a goal

Whether sitting in your car or standing at the airport, you'd never start a trip without a destination in mind. The same logic applies to money. You should decide exactly what it is you'd like to accomplish, then remind yourself of that goal early and often. Are you trying to buy a house? Become self-employed? Save for your kid's college education? Retire in your 50s? Whatever it is, write it down, picture it and share it with anyone else who you're counting on to help you accomplish it. Your goal isn't money — money's paper. Create goals — both short-term and long-term — then decide how much money you'll need to reach them. Take it from someone who wandered aimlessly for years: goals work.



2. Not having a spending plan

If you have a job of any kind, you can bet that your employer tracks every dime they make and every dime they spend. Granted, they have an incentive to do so — both income and expenses affect their income taxes — but it's only logical to want to know where your money is coming from and where it's going.

Tracking and categorizing your expenses with a budget — or spending plan, as I prefer to call it — is the single greatest tool you have to accomplish your money-related goals. A plan that includes what you intend to spend on things like entertainment, food, housing, etc., vs. what you actually spend allows you to fine-tune your finances and find places to save. Not doing this is like driving with your eyes half-closed: You might reach your destination, but you're certainly going to take more time getting there.

If you're not writing down every penny of money coming in and money going out,

go to this page and download one of many free budgeting worksheets we link to there. Then read 4 Reasons Budgets Fail and How to Create One That Won't.

3. Attempting to derive self-esteem from possessions

Although we all know that money doesn't buy happiness, very few of us act that way. Instead, we seem to go out of our way to appear successful by driving the right car, living in the right house, and wearing the right clothes. Nothing wrong with nice things — if you can afford them.

But here's something that life has taught me. It's a quote from my most recent book, Life or Debt 2010: You can either look rich or be rich, but you probably won't live long enough to accomplish both.

Attempting to derive self-esteem from possessions is dumb on two counts. First, it's expensive.

More important? It doesn't work.

4. Doing what everyone else is doing

One of the world's wealthiest men, Warren Buffett, said, "Be fearful when others are greedy; be greedy when others are fearful."

During the recession-induced stock market rout that began in the summer of 2008 and bottomed in March of 2009, the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged all the way from 10,000 to 6,600. It was at that time that I bought most of the stocks I now own in my online portfolio. I didn't buy then because somebody on TV told me to — the "experts" were as fearful as everybody else. I bought then because I'd missed similar opportunities in similar downturns before, and I was determined to learn from that mistake this time.

Likewise, when the housing bubble was at its zenith, many of my friends were buying as many houses as they could possibly borrow for, even though it should have been apparent that prices were over-inflated. Now they're broke — and I'm shopping for real estate. Again, not because I'm smart, but because I've also missed that opportunity before. Hence this recent story Why You Should Buy Stocks and Houses Now.

It's common knowledge the economy runs is cycles of boom and bust — yet when times are good, everyone seems to believe that trees grow to the sky. When they're tough — like they are now — the same people stand like a deer in the headlights.

If you're convinced the economy is going to zero, buy guns and canned goods. But if you can reasonably expect a recovery some day, invest — even if that day is a long way away, and even if it's possible things could get worse before they get better.

5. Starting to save large and late rather than small and soon

If you're 25 and you save just 5 bucks every day ... call it $150 a month ... and earn 10 percent, by the time you're 55, you'll have $340,000.

If you wait till you're 45 to start accumulating that same 340 grand, you'll have to save $1,700 every month for 10 years. True, you can't earn 10 percent today, at least without risk.

But over time and by taking a measured amount of risk, you can.

6. Paying interest to buy things that drop in value

There are only two situations where paying interest makes sense, at least mathematically. The first is when the purchase goes up in value at a rate greater than the rate of interest you're paying to finance it. Example: You borrow money at 5 percent to finance real estate that you think might return 8 percent on your overall investment. Other examples might include a business loan or a student loan — in other words, something that's going to return more (at least potentially) than it costs in interest payments.

The other situation where paying interest makes sense is when you can earn more on your cash than you're paying in interest. Example: After taxes, I'm only paying about 3.5 percent to finance my house. Since I think can make more than 3.5 percent after-tax in the stock market, I'll forgo paying off the mortgage, even though I have the cash.

Obviously there are times when we have no choice but to borrow. The point is that unless the math works out, the less you borrow, the better.

7. Turning down free money

If your employer is offering matching money when you participate in your company's 401k or other retirement plan — and you're not participating to the extent necessary to get the full match — you're literally refusing free money, not to mention ignoring an opportunity to get a tax deduction and grow your retirement savings tax-deferred.

There are only two kinds of people who turn down free money: people who really, truly can't afford to put up the money to get the match, and people who aren't thinking it through.

And yes, I've been one of those people.

8. Buying a new car

Everyone knows that cars drop 15-25 percent before you get them home from the showroom. Which makes it odd that so many people continue to buy one. My girlfriend just bought a 2009 BMW that still smells new for $26,000 — about $7,000 less than a new one would cost, and they look pretty much identical.

This is one mistake I can happily say I haven't made — I've never spent even that much on a car — or owned one that new.

If you're buying a car for transportation, it doesn't have to be either new or fancy. Cars are depreciating assets: the less you spend on one the better, especially if you're borrowing money to do it.

9. Buying more house than you need or can afford

It's practically gospel: spend 25 percent of your gross income on a mortgage, regardless of what size house you really need. While spending the maximum possible amount you can afford will make real estate agents happy, will it make you happy? When you buy more square feet than you're going to actually live in, you're required to insure them, furnish them, clean them, heat them, and cool them. All of that costs money, time and stress.

Buying a big house makes sense if you're trying to make a leveraged bet on the future of housing prices — or if you're trying to impress your friends.

If you're not doing either, buy what you need and put the money you save into more productive things, like meeting your financial goals.

10. Not protecting your good credit

Credit is like lots of things in life: simple to screw up, a bear to fix. And even though you may think it doesn't matter, some day it might, and probably will. If you've already messed up your credit, take the time and steps necessary to fix it and then keep in good shape.

That was my list of dumb moves to avoid, but I'll bet there are plenty of things that you could add. So let's hear it!

___

for jane

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child rearing update numero uno

I'm excited to share that Bentley is doing much much better! The pulling of hair has completely ceased. Exhale. He's listening so much better. He still beats up on Clayton a little bit, but we're working on it! He's also into the "helper" stage and he tries to mimic what I do- and he doesn't understand that I'm a bit more gentle when I do things- so he ends up pushing Clayton over. :)

Anyway, I just wanted to say that things are much better. :)

birthday reload

So apparently when you blog from your phone you can't edit that post on your computer. Weird. Anyway, here's the pics from my birthday. Thanks, Scott!

Burundi Bound-update!

So the four of us will be flying to Burundi for a 6 week stay in Jan/Feb. I am sooo excited to go! You can see Burundi is just south of Rwanda. It's a tiny little country.


View Larger Map

We will be flying into Bujumbura and driving to Kibuye. I couldn't find it on google maps. It's located at 6000 feet in rural Burundi.

I love to travel and see the world. I guess it's in my blood. Thanks, Dad! I grew up seeing his slideshow of the 8,000 mile bike trip (a ROAD bike in 1975!)- from Detroit, MI to LA Paz, Bolivia- so it's been a part of who I am-
David and I had hoped to have a 2nd child that would be a year old -to get required vaccinations for this trip- and Clayton was born 6 days before the estimated deadline of "end of December 2009". Seriously. It really did work out that way.
So here we are- 2.5 months before departure- trying to plan it all out. It will be about a 25 hour flight journey- so this could get really interesting. :) I'll definitely have to blog!

Anyway, here's our support letter- and we'd love for you to join us on this journey in whatever capacity- excitement, prayer, funds- we welcome it all!


Dear Friends and Family,

As most of you already know, we are headed to Africa this winter. We will be spending 6 weeks in Kibuye, Burundi. This is a trip we have been planning for several years. I am currently in my 4th year of medical school. There is a shortage of medical professionals at Kibuye Hospital and in Burundi as a whole. So I will be working with the doctors there to bring quality medical care to the patients. Adrienne will be taking care of Bentley and Clayton, and helping out in whatever way she can with the children’s program run by World Relief. In addition, this trip hopefully will give us broader exposure to the medical needs in poorer areas in the world to enable us to see what role we can play in bringing medical care to people in need.

I will be working at Kibuye Hospital, an 82 bed general hospital in a population area of 250,000 people. There are 10 health centers that refer to Kibuye and have radio contact with the hospital for service by the ambulance. Hope Africa University (HAU) in Bujumbura has established a Health Sciences division for training nurses and doctors. Kibuye Hospital is one of three teaching hospitals for the HAU medical school. In addition to general medical services, Kibuye Hospital has a program of outreach into the community to help the handicapped (particularly the blind); a child survival program run by World Relief; and a small factory that produces a high protein cereal to prevent and treat malnutrition.

We would like to invite you to partner with us in this trip. We need your prayer. It is not going to be an easy trip. I will be working long hours at the hospital. It will be our first long international trip with the boys. Would you join us in prayer? Pray that God uses this trip to help us to define the role that foreign missions will have in our lives going forward. Pray that God uses us to meet needs in Burundi, that we can be of service to the people and the mission there. Pray that we advance the cause of Christ by our service in Burundi. Pray for health and safety--Burundi is not an especially safe country to visit. Pray for the people of Burundi, that the work of Christ would be done among them.

In addition, we would like to invite you, to join us in funding this trip. Travel to Africa is not especially cheap which is one reason we have elected to go for six weeks instead of 3-4 weeks. We would also like to be able to leave a financial gift with the hospital when we leave to fund further operations there.

Love
David and Adrienne
and Bentley and Clayton

If you would like to donate, please send a check made out to FMWM (Free Methodist World Missions) with Crawford-Africa in the Memo line to:
VISA Ministries
Attn: Alison
PO Box 535002
Indianapolis, IN 46253

To support by credit card, click here

what's with the potlucks?

I learned a lot from our dear friends at The Village in Tucson, AZ. Our pastor and his wife live in a community house and they had us over a few times a week while we lived there. This experience changed my life. I was able to be part of a larger "family." Sue made the most delicious food and I was always greeted with bright smiling face- people who had genuine concern for my life. We sat around this huge wooden table (that was BUILT in their house)and shared our lives. It was such a refuge when I was teaching. I never imagined God was using these experiences to train me in righteousness:

When David and I lived in Ann Arbor we started a potluck with our dear friends Dale and Julie. The church had this great building on the property called "the lodge". So every Thursday we invited the GYP's (Grads/young/professional) group to join us for delicious eats. The purpose behind the potluck was to include people from all different places in life to come together once a week and eat together. There are some great things that happen over a meal. I loved our Thursday night potluck at the church. We laughed together, cried together, and did life together. It was so fabulous! After dinner we'd go to the basement and rock climb, and some would stay late to watch The Office... So Dale and Julie had one kid at the time, and one on the way and there came a point where it was too difficult to drive in, so they decided to stop coming. Later David and I decided to move to Detroit and so also had to leave the potluck. But here's the beauty in all that: I am happy to say that 2 years later the potluck lives on! This should be our desire whenever we are part of starting something new.... that it would continue ESPECIALLY in our absence. I think it's a testimony of a couple things: first when there is a need and you are part of developing the solution to the need- if it's "for real"- it will last- it's a great mark of leadership- that you were able to delegate and create a self-sustaining group.So praise be to God that the pot luck still meets at Huron Hills Church in Ann Arbor, MI.

A couple weeks ago at dinner Chris and Leigh shared their hearts during "house night"- they fear that when David and I are in Arizona and then Africa (Dec-Feb) that they'll miss seeing the neighbors regularly. They struggle to engage people- but when people are around they do engage. Does that make sense? So anyway, they suggested a pot luck that we would host at the house and invite our neighbors. It is with great excitement that I can share we are 2 weeks strong in this initiative! We had about 15 people hold hands as we prayed over our meal last night.It's so great because once again it isn't about us and our agenda- it's about being facilitators of a need that already exists. We've lived here for over a year now and have had some solid time to engage with our neighbors- and it's so much fun to start going deep.

I love potlucks. I love food. And l love people. So this is good, it fits... and God is working in the VDP hippie commune. :)

So I turned 28 on Monday. Crazy! I had a great birthday! We do birthday dinners at our house- no need to go out when I live with amazing cooks! So Chris made my requested steak soup- it's amazing! David picked up bread from Avalon- which is a delicious bakery in Detroit, Leigh made a salad, Kristen and Davida decorated the table with beautiful flowers, and Micah and Scott did the dishes. We had a lot of fun! Also our friend Deborah-Naomi joined us for dinner and then watched the boys so we could bowling. We went to the Majestic in Midtown- it was great!

I felt very loved by my friends and it was a great celebration! I will have to get some pics on here soon!

my new favorite song

I love pandora radio- it introduces to me to new songs all the time.
So I have a new favorite song. Incidentally it's by Hillsong- a group I was never super crazy about. But there's a set of lyrics that jerk my heart heart every time I hear them:
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Neverending, your glory goes beyond all days

I love the word, "when"- a reminder that it all will fade- whatever isn't rooted in Christ. It's not "if" or "in case" it's WHEN.

I also love the word light- I love when light shines over things and makes them beautiful and luminous.

Maybe I'll do some posts on the use of the word "light". Hmmm.... thoughts thoughts thoughts...

a new shift in parenting

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

This Proverb is very confusing to me because I have known people who have turned away from their parent's teaching. I want to believe it, but I have doubts. But I have doubts about a lot of things I read in the Bible- and I think that's normal. I think God is asking me to trust Him and His word in the midst of my doubts. I think that's why we call it faith.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1

So back to that Proverb.

As I raise my boys I am learning that God is asking me to raise them in a certain way. I think what pleases Him are children who respect their parents .
1. Ephesians 6:1-3
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

This is important because as we learn to respect our parents, we learn to respect teachers, elders, etc...
And then as we get older we learn what it means to be obedient to the Lord.

I wonder if that verse that says, "work out your salvation with fear and trembling" (Philippians 2:12) is easier to do when we've learned to be obedient because the idea of reading God's longings with "fear and trembling" is the same idea of obeying our parents. Does that make sense?

Anyway... what I really want to share today is about me. But I wanted to share the foundation- being that I want my children to love the Lord and be obedient to His will for them.


So Bentley has some bad habits forming- he pulls hair... softly touches your hair, 1, 2, 3, and then all the sudden YANK! I have flicked his wrist, and pulled him away from the situation- but it's getting worse, not better.

He also hears me call him, "Bentley! Come here..." And then walk the other way. So I go grab him.

And then there's the glasses- "Bentley, please leave your glasses on..." He looks right at me, pulls them off, throws them on the floor, points and says, "Oooohhhh...."

Oh and then there's his brother- he pulls out his pacifier, pushes him over, pulls his hair, and steals his toys.

There are lots of other situations- but these are my greatest struggles with him.

I have been really trying to discipline him in these areas, but it is NOT working. I am losing control in my home... and he is only TWO! Children don't want to play with him because he pulls their hair.... and it's breaking my heart.

I have been making excuses- he doesn't understand- he will get over this- it's a phase. But months are going by, and it's getting worse.
David's mom came to take care of Bentley and she gave me this really sweet little book she wrote with David when he was 1-2 years old. She wrote what he was doing and the things they did together- it was so fun to read it! Well, in the book there were some things he was disciplined about, namely spanked. And as I was reading his developmental process I was reading about how his parents were teaching him boundaries. And they were strict- way stricter than I am! And I totally felt convicted.... It all clicked. I have been saying Bentley doesn't understand- when I know he DOES understand and allowing him to get away with behavior that is unacceptable. And I realized that my sweet boy is going to need more than the average kid- he needs more time to learn something- more time with me- and more discipline- being reminded over and over again.... he needs me to EXPECT MORE FROM HIM! How can I help shape him into an adult that is respectful, listens well, and understands expectations if I am constantly making excuses for him?

I was sharing these things with my friend Lisa yesterday and she said she's been thinking about these things too for her kids (2 and 4 months)- she said a woman shared with her recently that the realty of discipline is asking yourself, "What kind of home do I want?" Do I want a home where I make different meals because my children won't eat what's served? Do I expect my children to behave in a certain way? Do I teach children how to have they're quiet time? These are things that require us to shape and mold our children into... they don't just figure it out- but they are loved and disciplined into these expectations.

So I encourage all my friends who are mothers- and mothers to be-and mothers they hope to be- to be thinking about these things- and praying over these things.

I ask too that you would be praying for me as I take on this new task of cracking down on some of these poor behaviors.

May we raise a generation of children who are respectful and fear the Lord. :)

I put this on my facebook- but I think it deserved a blog post!!

So David and I were shopping at Meijer for our groceries for our weekend up north. We have a large cart so Bentley could have a special seat while Clayton could sit in the front of the cart- so I'm off to the side leaning on our cart and David comes over with another cart and a lady following him- "excuse me sir, that's my cart." And he looks so confused- but sees me and the boys with the large cart and realizes what he's done! So he hands her the cart and I just gave him "the look"... And he says, "What I'm trying to shop." And I ask, "Oh and you can't keep track of the cart!?"

Oooohh David ;)
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

CCDA workshop 1

Modern-Day Orphans: Children of Inmates















Let's take a second to read that title again. The idea that children are separated from their parents by prisons should break our hearts. I don't care if their Mama or Daddy did a horrible thing- it should break our hearts to know that children are without a parent. Studies show that it doesn't matter how horrible a parent is to a child- or to society- we inherently want Mom and Dad- and we are broken when they are absent.... no matter the circumstance. So as we learn more about this ministry, may we praise God for what He is doing in this ministry and pray for children who have a parent(s) in prison. Also, know this ministry is aware when a parent is incarcerated for a child- related crime- and obviously a different route is taken with those children. But we can still grieve the loss of the child/parent relationship God intended for us. Amen? Amen. :)

National FACTS:

*In 2007, there were 1.7 million children with a parent in state or federal prison
*Up to 7 million children have a parent in prison, local jails, or on probation/parole
* From 1995-2005 the number of incarcerated women rose 57%, and men rose 34%

Where are the kids?
80-90% live with Mom, if Dad is incarcerated
30% live with Dad if Mom is incarcerated, and 50% will live with a grandmother
*The rest go somewhere else, and 10% are in foster care

South FLORIDA SNAPSHOT:
*15,000 children in MIAMI live with an incarcerated parent
*Another 8,000 in Fort Lauderdale
(23,000total)
*Overwhelmingly are minorities (Black, Hispanic, and Haitian)

THE DEVELOPMENTAL IMPACT OF A CHILD:
* When a parent is arrested the entire family "does time"
*Psychological- fear, trauma, anger, disappointment
*Financial (loss of family income)
*Social (isolation, shame)
*Children of incarcerated parents face:
*Poverty, instability, reduced access to sources of support, anxiety, traumatic stress, embarrassment, and shame.

(Read those words again. We're talking about children. This seriously breaks my heart).

Because of those feelings, children might misbehave:
**Internalized behaviors: anxiety, withdrawal, hyper-vigilance, depression, shame and guilt.
**Externalized behaviors: anger, aggression and hostility to caregivers and siblings.

If MOM is incarcerated:
*Mothers are more likely to have lived with their children than fathers
*Female prisoners serve an average 49 months in state prison and 66 months in federal prison

If DAD is incarcerated:
*When the father is arrested, mothers assume or maintain care giving responsibility 90% of the time
*Men serve an average of 80 months in state prison and 103 months in federal prison.

That's 6-9 years... that's a big chunk of a child's life.

This traumatic experience often pulls the child away from their normal developmental path.

Impact on School Achievement
*Home and school displacements contribute to instability
*Difficult maintaining an academic learning environment
*Less likely to develop meaningful relationships with others thus forming social barriers

Developmental Stages
0-4 years
*Development of trust and attachment for infants 0-2 years old is affected by impaired parent-child bonding
*"Terrible two's"- the sense of independence (saying "No") and initiative ("I can do it myself!") for 2-6 year olds is affected.

5-10 years
*Supposed to develop a sense of accomplishment and ability to work independently, instead it become a period of developmental regressions and poor self concept
*Experience a period of acute traumatic stress reactions, and an impaired ability to overcome future trauma

11-14 years
*Supposed to develop the ability to work productive in groups and to control the expression of emotions
* Instead can be characterized by rejection of limits on behavior and trauma-reactive behaviors

(Kids don't learn to attach to people- they disconnect- and this contributes to the cycle of incarceration-)

15-18 years
*Supposed to become competent as they learn to strike a balance between individualization and a sense of belonging
*Instead, MORE boundary-testing, as impact of parental incarceration tends to lead to the rejection of limit setting by other adults.

Losing Interest in Education
*Adolescent children of incarcerated mothers are 3x more likely than their peers to drop out of high school
*Compared to incarcerated fathers, mothers report that their adolescent children had more trouble with the law as interest in school diminished

What helps to Restore:
*Feeling of being connected to a family structure reduces teh likelihood of the adolescent engaging in deviant behavior
*Kind, stable and supportive care promotes strong connections to school, pro-social peers, and family


THE MINISTRY: SERVICE FOR CHILDREN OF INMATES

*Partnership of 8 agencies
*Geographically dispersed
* Ministry is five years old

So now let's look into what they're doing:

Where they get the children:
-Referrals from parent in prison
-Community events outreach
-Social media, other print/broadcast media stories
-Website, hotline telephone
-Phone calls, letters, and home visits
-Connect to Dept. of Corrections- so the ministry worked for 2 years to get a question on the survey that inmates are given at time of intake that says, "Do you have children? Who do they live with? Can we visit your children and provide services?

I love that last part! They fought and fought to have that question added to the intake form- and it has helped them connect with these kids!

Key principles of the ministry:
1.Child-focused, 2. Include the caregiver and family 3. Re-build the bonds with the incarcerated parent (if possible)

What does that mean?
Child-Focused:
Safety first: food and housing
Meet as many needs as possible: afterschool or tutoring help, mental health counseling, school uniforms, school supplies, and spiritual needs
Provide other support services, when possible: mentoring

Include the Caregiver:
Provide what they initially ask for (remembering our agenda isn't always best)
Build a relationship of trust
Allow them to say no to services
Invite them to new opportunities as they arrive
Coaching caregiver in parental skills

RE-Build the bonds-
*BONDING VISITS: Bus trips to the prison/jail
*structured and unstructured activities for the parents and children to do during the visit (art, lunch, games, etc...) This happens 4 times a year
*parenting tips provided to inmates
*family photo time
*surveys and observations- volunteers are taking notes and watching the interactions between parent and child- this is both for $$ from the gov't to fulfill their data, and for safety reasons, and to encourage those bonds in positive ways
*Provide fun outlet AFTERWORDS for the children- so they usually go out to eat and do something FUN after the visits- because they can be extremely difficult... also, some of the trips drive 5 hours to the prisons- so this is an all day event- and they want to make it fun

*Expression support groups (writing letters to mom/dad, drawing, and pictures
*Video visitation to supplement bonding visits- they have found this to be extremely effective and encouraging, but it took YEARS to get the prisons to allow the video equipment in to make this happen

*Importance of CONTACT time (BEING ABLE TO TOUCH MOM or DAD)
*Normalizes the relationship
*Assured child that parent is safe
*Re-builds the parent/child bond that was broken
*Allows for emotional expression
*Assists with family re-unification in the future

CHALLENGES of the MINISTRY:
*Distances and transportation to facilities $$$$$$
*Caregiver reluctance
*Screening/processing hassles at prison
*Each prison has different leaders and rules
*Parent manipulation
*Transportation to video visitation (usually happens at the churches)

REWARDS
*More than 1,000 children have been FOUND (Often times, when parents are taken into prison/jail, they don't know where the children end up- and more often than not- nobody was keeping track of these kids)
*700 children are receiving coordination services
*50 prison bonding visits in August 2010
*Surveys indicated reduced child aggression\
*Only one child arrested so far- breaking the cycle
*Local and national media attention

So I can't elaborate right now in my own words- but I think you get the idea of what they're doing- I am happy to answer questions too--- or check out their web page!!!

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the owner of stuff

I am not gonna lie, I own a ton of stuff. Some it is my fault, some of it isn't. When David and I got married my parents gave me my stuff. So all those little items thy kept around for me are now in MY basement. It seems to me my parents should've held on to all those things so that THEY have deal with all the boxes!!! :) Because they're divorced I think I ended up with a little more too--- I have all our family photo albums- have acquired Christmas decorations- and all the childhood trinkets. I am not complaining- just reminding myself that sometimes I see the boxes and get overwhelmed with all my stuff- but I try to remind myself- SOME of those boxes hold very special memories. So ASIDE from the family memories, I own a ton of stuff! I love decorations, and candles, and having that one special bowl to serve that one special dish when that one special family comes over.... and probably more than one special bowl if I'm honest!
I'd really like to condense my ownership of things down to a smaller group. Since spending the last 2 years without the MAJORITY of my stuff (most of it is in a barn in Ann Arbor, or in our basement), I think I have learned to live on less. Now the task of rummaging through boxes seems too much to bear. We went from a 1400 sq ft house in Tucson to a 1000 sq ft condo then I packed that up with a 2 month old (luckily Bentley was so chill!) and moved into our community house.
I'd really really like to begin going through the boxes in our basement here and then through the boxes in Ann Arbor, but like I said, I just feel so overwhelmed and I don't know where to start. Sometimes I tell myself- just do a box a week- pick a day, an hour and just do it! Then I go down to the basement and turn right back around and come upstairs.... OR I open up a box only to find all the things I NEED (aka- nope, won't throw that away even though I'm NEVER gonna use it!)
Also, with 2 little boys, I am only ACQUIRING MORE stuff! I have bins and bins with their labeled sizes, and toys that I've already agreed to weed out, but can't give away...yet!
Have any of you ever done something like this? How did you start? Can you encourage me? :)

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And then they gave us our own car on the train to help Clayton sleep!!
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some key players from the conference....

As I share information about the CCDA this week I'll be using names of people who lead the association so I think it's important to share a bit of a biography about these people.




Rev. Dr. John Perkins (I took this bio from his web page)

John M. Perkins is a sharecropper’s son who grew up in New Hebron, Mississippi amidst dire poverty. Fleeing to California at age 17 after his older brother’s murder at the hands of a town marshal, he vowed never to return. However after converting to Christianity in 1960 he returned to Mendenhall, Mississippi to share the gospel of Christ. While in Mississippi, his outspoken nature and support and leadership in civil rights demonstrations resulted in repeated harassment, beatings and imprisonment. He again was arrested in 2005 year while protesting in Washington D.C. against U. S. Government defunding of programs aiding the poor.

In Mendenhall, Perkins and his wife, Vera Mae, founded Voice of Calvary Ministries. This Christian community development ministry started a church, health center, leadership development program, thrift store, low-income housing development, and training center. From this ministry, other development projects started in the neighboring towns of Canton, New Hebron and Edwards. Philip K. Reed, the previous pastor of Voice of Calvary Fellowship, has assumed the leadership of this dynamic ministry.

In 1982, the Perkins family returned to California and lived in the city of Pasadena where Perkins and his wife founded Harambee Christian Family Center in Northwest Pasadena, a neighborhood that had one of the highest daytime crime rates in California. Harambee is yet standing, running numerous programs including after school tutoring, Good News Bible Clubs, an award-winning technology center, summer day camp, youth internship programs, and a college scholarship program.

In 1983, while yet in California, Perkins and his wife, along with a few friends and other major supporters, established the John M. Perkins Foundation for Reconciliation & Development, Inc for the sole purpose of supporting their mission of advancing the principles of Christian community development and racial reconciliation throughout the world.

Wayne "Coach" Gordon

Pastor Dr. Wayne L. Gordon....
Wayne L. Gordon is founding Pastor of Lawndale Community Church and Chairman/President of the Christian Community Development Association (CCDA)

Wayne Gordon is a graduate of Wheaton College and Northern Baptist Theological Seminary. He received his Doctor of Ministry degree from Eastern Baptist Theological Seminary.

In 1975 Wayne moved to North Lawndale located on Chicago's Westside. At that time, North Lawndale was the 15th poorest neighborhood in the U.S. He was a teacher and coach at Farragut High School, also located in North Lawndale. Wayne and his wife Anne have raised their three children, two adults: Angela, a graduate of Taylor University who lives and teaches in Lawndale; Andrew a recent graduate of Baylor University and a trader with the Chicago Board of Trade, and Austin (20), in the Lawndale community. Wayne and Anne, along with some local high school students, founded the Lawndale Community Church. Today, LCC has over 1000 worshipping families and Wayne continues as pastor.

For over 30 years of ministry "Coach," as he is affectionately known, has played a key role in numerous community development initiatives. He is one of the founders of the Lawndale Christian Health Center, a healthcare ministry that sees over 120,000 patients per year.

Wayne was the founding president of the Lawndale Christian Development Corporation. The Development Corporation is the arm of Lawndale Community Church that facilitates economic development, education and housing. LCDC has seven different housing ministries and under Wayne's leadership, over 400 units of abandoned housing have been rehabbed. LCDC places special emphasis on home ownership for residents of the community.

One of the major goals of “Coach” has been developing a new generation of leaders for North Lawndale. Over 200 young people have graduated from college with more than half returning to live and work in North Lawndale.

Wayne Gordon helped to formulate the Christian Community Development Association (CCDA). CCDA is a network of individuals and ministries nationwide who engage in Christian community development efforts. At various times, CCDA has had 600 organizational members and 10,000 individual members. CCDA meets annually to share skills and network together. Over 2000 people attend the national CCDA conferences and the CCDA movement continues to expand.

Wayne authored the inspiring book "Real Hope in Chicago." This book details the power of God working in a community in need. Wayne has co-authored books and written numerous articles on God's heart for the poor and Christian community development. Lawndale Community Church was given a "Point of Light" award by President George Bush in 1989 and Chicago Magazine named Wayne one of the Chicagoans of the year in 1995 for his commitment and creativity.

Wayne Gordon is a real testimony to the grace of God and the witness of God's call upon a person's life. Wayne possesses the ability to empower people and believes that the heart of Gospel is reconciliation. For more than 30 years of his life he has exemplified breaking down all racial barriers to pave the way for God's truth in the lives of all that he encounters.


Dr. Mary Nelson- the church website is here


Bob Lupton

Bob Lupton has invested almost 40 years of his life in inner-city Atlanta. In response to a call that he first felt while serving in Vietnam, he left a budding business career to work with delinquent urban youth. Bob and his wife Peggy and their two sons sold their suburban home and moved into the inner-city where they have lived and served as neighbors among those in need. Their life’s work has been the rebuilding of urban neighborhoods where families can flourish and children can grow into healthy adults.

Bob is a Christian community developer, an entrepreneur who brings together communities of resource with communities of need. Through FCS Urban Ministries – a non-profit organization which he founded – he has developed two mixed income subdivisions, organized a multi-racial congregation, started a number of businesses, created housing for hundreds of families and initiated a wide range of human services in his community. He is the author of the books Theirs in the Kingdom, Return Flight, Renewing the City, Compassion, Justice and the Christian Life and the widely circulated “Urban Perspectives”, monthly reflections on the Gospel and the poor. Bob has a Ph.D. in psychology from the University of Georgia. He serves as speaker, strategist, and inspirer with those throughout the nation who seek to establish God’s Shalom in the city.

This is a narrative of one of the chapter's in his book... it's not my favorite, but I do like it and it's an encouragement to open up our lives to people. :)

loving where you are, but not staying there

I feel overwhelmed with thoughts as I long to share everything I learned at the conference. Obviously I'll never be able to do that. :) I do hope to spend time this week and share some of the things I learned. God is doing some incredible work through people. Wow... I was inspired.

I want to make sure I communicate that I am celebrating what God is doing in the lives of the people I love. I am naming specific sins of the church and of Christians as a collective group, but I am not calling out sins specifically to people I love. I wouldn't do that on a blog, I'd call you. :) And I hope you'd call me.
I am challenging all of us to dig deep into the heart of God and His love for the poor and asking us if we are contributing to this need.
I don't want my readers to become burdened with what they aren't doing. That's a very depressing place to be- I have to bring myself out of that place frequently! I want you to be joyful in what God is doing in you- and encourage us to continually ask ourselves if we are doing what God designed us to do.

Spend some time celebrating where God has you.... what he's teaching you... where he's challenging you...and where's he's taking you.

At the end of the day serving the poor, and being a good neighbor, and fighting for social justice is irrelevant if we don't have Christ at the center of it all... because then it's about us... and this movement... this desire for change... although it is often prompted out of selfishness- should be rooted in Christ.

So recognize who we are in Christ. Love where we are. But not so much that we stay there. :)

And if you want to share in the comments things that you are learning- or what God is doing through you- or your church- I'd love to read it and encourage you- and I know others would too.

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We made it!

Clayton and I boarded the amtrak train in Detroit this morning at 11:20 AM. We had 2 seats to ourselves. The train ride was about 6.5 hrs. We slept, tooks walks- played... It was a lot of fun! When we arrived in Chicago we had to walk about 2 miles to our hotel. So I had my hiking pack on my back. Clayton on my front, and I pushed the diaper bag in the stroller. It was a beautiful walk through downtown- even though we almost got blown over twice!! (It really is the windy city!!)Clayton stared at the sky for the whoke walk and sai, "babab bababab bababb..." So cute! We arrived at the hotel and were warmly greeted by friends from church!! Anway, Clayton did wonderful and I'm looking forward to some good bonding with him and my church family. More updates to come!!
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CCDA conference

I am off to the Christian Community Development Association Conference in Chicago, IL. Last year I went and it was in Cincinnati, Ohio. I am taking the train with Clayton. David's mom is flying in to take care of Bentley this week. It's the first time I'll be away from him for this long--- well at all... ever. So it's really weird. I am gonna miss my little guy. And it doesn't help that he was very disobedient today! Anyway, here's the promo video that explains what the conference is about. I am sure I will have lots to say when I get home. :)

introduction to the posts

So you'll notice I have a lot of posts... first, read the letter, and then I responded. Enjoy. :)

the letter

Hey you - I just spend a significant amount of time updating myself on your blog, and I thought that I'd respond to you this way, rather than on your blog (maybe give you a few things to think about? : ))).

So, Dave and I spent two years working with inner-city youth. Now, we didn't live in the city that we worked in, but honestly, we didn't feel callled to do so. We were building a foundation for our marriage, and our 8 hours of work a day was challenging enough on us (Dave threw up every single morning the first year we worked at Carol City...it was a rough year). Looking back, I wouldn't change what we did (as far as not living in the city). However, I'm with you on the whole "safe" thing. I never felt "unsafe" while I was there. Well...never might be the wrong word...rarely, and if so, really not signifcantly unsafe (regardless of our almost weekly lockdowns due to the fact that we had a Popeyes next store that was robbed constantly, and the stupid robbers would come onto our campus to seek shelter...guh, so annoying).

Jesus says that the "poor will always be with you" (obviously said in one of the Gospels...I'm going to go with Matthew just off the top of my head...could be wrong!). I hate this statement, but after spending two years working with the poor, I understand it. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't do anything about it - that's not what I'm saying - it just means what it says...poverty will always exist on this earth...sad, but true.

It's my belief and convinction that we should help the poor. It's always been my belief and convinction that we all do that in different ways. Unlike you, I don't think that everyone should up and move into poor cities...I think that you need to be CALLED to do this. You made a statement about simply "throwing money" at the schools. I get that money isn't going to solve poverty; however, schools and other programs do need financial backing in order to suceed. What if someone's part in helping the poor is providing that financial backing and support? Is that somehow wrong and/or not as valuable? God is calling that person to use his/her resources (financial in this case) and calling someone else to use differnet resources (time, hospitality, ect.). What is your opinion about that? (BTW - I know that you're not being judgemental on your blog...I just wanted to throw some stuff out there for you to think about :)).

As far as the school systems go and sending my kiddos there...that is a tough one. I completely agree with you on the "selfish" argument (as in, of course I will care about where my kids go to school way more than some other school!). But again, I think that all families and all kids are different, and we all receive different "callings/challenges/burdens" (whatever you want to call i!) from God. This is obviously something that God has placed on your heart, and I LOVE that. Does it make it wrong...or does it make me less of a believer (wrong wording, but you get it)...if He hasn't placed it on my heart to live in inner-city Portland and send my kiddos to those schools (I know that's not what you're saying, it's just what I'm pondering!)?

At this point in our lives, Dave and I are planning on moving to the Westside of Portland and putting our kids in the best schools that we know of. Then I read your blog, and I'm going...dang, what in the world is she going to think of us?! : ) Are we doing something wrong because this is our desire? Our we listening to what God wants of us and our family? And then I go...but there are non-believers in the suburbs too!! Although these people aren't poor in a financial sense, there is still much "poverty" in the suburbs as well...it just comes in a different form.

All in all, I want to listen to what God wants of us and for us as a family. I want my kids to "shine like stars in the universe"...I want them to be lights. Sadly, there is darkness everywhere, so it's just a matter of "what" darkness Christ is calling us to live in.

Ok, those are my thoughts on your thoughts : ) Like you, I'm not judging...your blog just got me thinking and praying, so I thought that I'd type some of it out to you and see what your thoughts are. I greatly respect you, your opinion, and most importantly, your faith. You are one amazing woman my dear.

Love you -
Cindy<><

20 best of Detroit

So the church we attended in Ann Arbor is going to be doing this Step into Compassion thing... I'm not exactly sure what it is, but David's aunt is on the team that is writing the devotional. Anyway, she asked me to find some of my favorite pictures of Detroit that capture the culture, history, and customs... I went through all the pics I had and came up with these. Obviously if I went out for a month and took pictures based on these themes I get a much better mix, but by using only what I had saved I think the group is pretty good.
Anyway, here they are... which one is your favorite???
http://picasaweb.google.com/Adriennelynne82/20bestdet#

I'm reading a lot of books right now- many of them I've read before. I received an email with some great questions about one of my previous posts and putting my thoughts together to respond on my blog.
So this morning I was reading this book I got for my birthday last year called ENOUGH: Contentment in an Age of Excess. It's really good.

I am going to post something I read (pg. 61)- it's a harsh reality of the American church.

You spend too much time thinking about and wishing for the end of the world. Why are you so anxious to bring about God's judgment? And what kinds of people you have become, thinking the world will end tomorrow?
In your arrogance and laziness you have forgotten why I have placed you here. You have endless conferences and seminars on "how to do church," but you have forgotten to be the church, a people who live as an alternative community, pointing all people toward me through loving service
You grown rich exploiting the poor. You bring a tiny pittance of that money back to me and say, "God, you have been so good to us." But your money smells like crap in my nostrils. It sickens me and I don't want it. Give it back to the poor from which it came.
You grow more food than you need by destroying the very soil I gave you to tend. You sit down to a sumptuous buffet and say, "Look how God has blessed us." I have not blessed you. I have left you to your own destruction.
There will come a day when the womb of the earth will no longer produce and the poor will rise up and pledge never to sew a cheap garment again. You will grow hungry and your shopping malls will close. Then you will turn to me and cry, "God, why you have you rejected us?" And I will say, "I have not rejected you. I have been here all along, waiting for you all along."
So turn your face toward me now. Seek after me. Live out my commands. Do you want to be people after my own heart? Then care for the poor, the needy, the marginalized, those for whom my heart beats loudly. Cease your endless Bible studies, searching for the answer to righteous living. Commit yourselves to following what I already told you to do. Don't believe you are pursing me if you are not seeking to do justice.
Care for the planet. .You have become so worried about who might advocate this course of action that you forgot it was one of my first commandments to you. Tend well what I have give you.
Seek the welfare of your community. As people in exile, your future and the future of the planet you live are one and the same. So make your world more whole, that you might be more holy.
And live in love. I had hoped that you'd get that message when my Son joined humanity and demonstrated sacrificial love in action. But you are so worried about his return that you forgot why he came. Be a people shaped by the model of Jesus, not just the prospect of escaping the world I have asked you to help heal.

update

David applied for a scholarship this past year and he didn't get it. It would have given us a large sum of money each year for the next four years. The scholarship is given to students going into family practice. With the news that he didn't get the scholarship David decided to rethink his options. He has decided to do internal medicine/pediatrics. Family residency programs in Detroit are really lacking, and the Detroit Medical Center (DMC) has IM/PED residency that looks really good. Because Arizona only has one medical school it doesn't have the greatest residency programs for what we want.
So at this point we are looking into staying in Detroit for the next 4 years. (The IM/PED program is 4 years instead of 3).

We still have a few months to think and pray about this. I know many of you have been praying for us and I wanted to make sure I keep you updated. :)

"Do small things with great love" - Mother Teresa

"Or don't open the door!" -Shane Claiborne


Last year I heard Shane Claiborne at the CCDA conference- going again in 2 weeks in CHICAGO!!!

Anyway, he lives in inner city Philly and they have a policy in their community house about being willing to love on each person that they open the door to, and if you're too tired or worn out or whatever... you just don't open the door.

I like this.

Love of Home

So yesterday I had a few experiences happen that forced me to think about the emotions behind some of the things I have been/and will be writing about.
The first thing was I got a comment on my previous blog entry that caused me to stop and think. It was mostly helpful in seeing the truth behind some of the words and implications I made- and I made adjustments accordingly. More on that later.
The second thing was a dear friend of mine (from Detroit- we'll call her Christie shared with me how it was painful to hear another friend (lives in surrounding suburb)- we'll call her Mary- not want to move here because essentially it's not good enough for her and her family.
Initially I was mad about the comment on my blog, but after talking with Christie about some of the comments that were painful, I realized we all love where we come from. And often people from the outside see things that either are not the reality of life in that place- or say things that are true, but hard to hear.
I'd like to defend and reveal to you the reasons for the "harsh" language...
In defense of Nogales- I LOVE Nogales. It's one of my favorite places. I love the culture- the people- the fact that David's family is there and takes me to the most delicious restaurants and I can buy lots of cheap things at the "cinderella" stores. I have never felt unwelcomed or unsafe. If God wills- I would LOVE to return to Nogales one day to raise my children there. Also, the landscape in Nogales is BEAUTIFUL. With that said, many people who are operating on a different value system- or who only read the news find it to be a "dangerous" place. I use quotations with dangerous because I don't feel unsafe when I'm there, but there are drug wars going on. I also know that there were people who thought the Crawfords were a little crazy for moving there with kids. Yes, I know- this thought is infuriating, but it's true. I use Nogales as a contrast of Detroit because it's a place that people are afraid of- or unwilling to raise their kids there- and don't necessarily want to go to- unless they're traveling through to go to the Mexican side and eat out or shop.
Back to Detroit.
David and I were challenged on more than one occasion that living in Detroit is a bad idea and that we're putting our lives in danger. Ok, I don't feel unsafe here. There are things I avoid- gas stations after dark, walks after dark... but there are MANY more things I do- walks with the boys alone, finding niches around the city I like to go to- and enjoying some great things big cities have to offer. I have friends who feel uncomfortable getting gas or even driving alone to my house- I think I have had at least 3 girlfriends who are unwilling to drive here alone (they live in other cities). This is not a mean thing to say, it's the truth of something I have experienced. If I told my neighbors this they'd probably say something like, "For real?! They don't have to be scared. Detroit isn't THAT bad!" Inside they'd probably be a little insulted. My friend Christie felt this way. She struggled to hear that Mary wouldn't feel comfortable putting her kids in the schools here.
My challenge in posting things like this is to challenge the truth behind our thoughts. When we won't move to a place because the schools are bad or it's "unsafe" or for whatever reason- we are making the implication that those people are not good enough for me and mine. It continues the cycles of being divided. I'm not telling you all to get up and move to poor areas- well I guess I am- but I am not being JUDGMENTAL about it- I'm just putting the challenge out there. I love you, my readers, and I want to celebrate what God is doing in your lives- and share what He's doing in mine.
So let this be the post that lays the foundation for when I talk about Nogales or Detroit. I love both cities. And I say things that aren't necessarily true- especially to people from those places- but I am saying them and contrasting them because a lot of people believe they're true- and there's some sarcasm behind my words- most probably know this- but if you don't know me I can see how you would misinterpret what I am trying to say, especially when my writing isn't as clear as I'd like it to be.

Anyway, I apologize for initially mis-representing Nogales and I hope I've adequately changed the wording. I apologize if any ofmy words and challenging and painful to read. I'm likely to make lots of mistakes on my blog and I've changed my comments so they come through me first- so if you want to suggest something I will read it and consider to change a post. :)

I get very frustrated with people sometimes and I am very passionate about what I do. I have a HOT list of topics that if you get me going I will use strong words and defend what I think is true to the point of exhaustian. :) This is something you all should love about me, and help shape me to do this, but with love. I am proud to have strong convictions, but not necessarily in making people feel badly.

More controversial posts to come.

on education and Detroit

The big conversation around here lately has been about education. In case you've missed the news, or David's mentioning it on his blog- the education system in Detroit is failing. It's failing children. Twenty-five percent of freshman who START high school will graduate. Many students won't even step in the doors. Elementary schools are full (like around the country), but there are many disciplinary problems due to the lack of adequate parenting. Teachers are overwhelmed and tired. Schools continue to close forcing many to go job hunting again. It's a mess, a real mess. There are some charter schools that seem to be acceptable, and two high schools that appear to be great- but students are accepted into them.
The reason education has been topic of conversation is many of the families at Mack Ave community Church moved into this city. We come from resourced families and solid backgrounds. We've always had our needs met. We came to this city to live among people and do life with people. We aren't here to do anything to anybody, but alongside. My kids play with the kids all up and down our block and they have a great time.
And now we're being faced with the coveted educational options.
Many families that have moved here can afford Ambleside School (a Christian school in SW Detroit), the Waldorf (around the corner where our church currently meets), or they can afford surrounding suburban private schools.
These are not necessarily bad options, but then what we're doing is saying- I'm willing to live here in Detroit- surround myself with the drama, but I am not willing to let my kids go to school with your kids because your school isn't good enough for my kids.
Now don't get feisty on me yet- hear me out to the end of my post!
So then what happens is many people who move into Detroit hoping to be part of the change (people who are from all different faiths and beliefs)- end up sending their kids to schools other than the neighborhood schools.
I've done a lot of reading by a man named Robert Lupton. We had the opportunity to meet with him privately last year at the CCDA convention. He moved into inner city Atlanta when it wasn't a beautiful place- he moved into the ghetto with his family.
One of the things he did was send his children to the neighborhood school. It's so cool what the church did. They were able to create a group of volunteers who went into that school to help create order so the teachers could do their jobs and teach! They took all the kids with severe discipline issues next door to the church (this was 30 years ago!) and were able to begin teaching them behavior strategies, etc... and then as they were able, those children reintegrated into the classroom. Over time that neighborhood school became a place that educated children- a safe place among the ruins of Atlanta. I don't think that school would have changed without someone with resources- time, money, education, and the desire for change.
I think the same is here in Detroit. All we read about it how the education system is failing, and no one wants to "risk" their kids education to make the schools better.
Think about this:
Because Robert and his wife were willing to place their kids in an inadequate school and be part of the change- they changed that school for THOUSANDS of children. That thought seriously gives me goosebumps.
I hear people say all the time- well, I can send my kids to "X" school while also helping out the local public school. I challenge this thought to be untrue. You cannot and will not be able to pour the amount of energy and time into something that is not affecting your family. I guarantee you that if Bentley and Clayton are in the local school- Marcus Garvey- I will be overly involved in ensuring a classroom that is adequate for them. We are by nature selfish. And I will selfishly be involved in my boys' education- but this selfishness will change the lives of many many other children. Does that not excite you? It excites me.
As I am writing this the song by the David Crowder Band came on:
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way?

As I read the chorus about how he loves us- O! how he loves us- pictures of the beautiful children in my neighborhood flash before my eyes. I've come to love the children on my block in a way that is deeply ROOTED in Christ's love. I want to see them succeed. I see the extreme poverty that surrounds and entangles them and I dearly want to see them freed from that. And God has revealed to me a way that I can actually be a part of that- a way that is bigger than throwing money at them- but being part of their lives.

I also want to add this important truth. When David was 11 years old his parents moved him from the beautiful, safe, rural place of Spring Arbor, MI to the poor and "dangerous" location of Nogales, AZ (yep, the one that's all over the news these days)- They sent their children to the local school- where they were one of few white kids- and the kids in the classroom often chose to speak Spanish. The reason I bring this up is to remind you that David and his siblings did just fine. They were still able to go to wonderful colleges/universities and able to get good jobs. I think it probably changed them in even better ways considering the occupations they've chosen- doctor, missionary, social worker, and pastor. Although the news portrays Nogales as a poor and "dangerous" place, it's a place that we love. It's a place that helped shape David's family. The point of this being to challenge where we choose to raise our kids- because even though places seem one way- the reality is that God is working and moving.

Last year Bentley got the boot from receiving therapy in Ann Arbor and has been in the Detroit Public School system for 8 months now. It is not nearly as good or as beautiful as what is happening in Ann Arbor if you look at it from a worldly stand point- but Bentley and I are meeting families from our city- and we are going to be part of something exciting and challenging. Bentley is not suffering- I think he's going to be even better equipped to Kingdom living because of this change. And I am so thankful that Ann Arbor booted us because I'm not sure I would have willingly un-enrolled him there.

So I am challenging you all- who I deeply love- to consider these thoughts and think about them. Don't get angry and defensive. I'm not. Embrace these ideas- mull and agonize over them. Rejoice with me that God is doing something big here in the Crawford home- that He is really growing us.

back at it

I have done a horrible job updating my blog lately. God is doing some amazing things here and in me. And I definitely need to be sharing that more regularly. I think I get a group of thoughts and I know I don't have time to write them all so I don't write any of them. There's no sense in that! So here's me blogging again!!

On losing cars

I was laying in bed this morning thinking about times I've lost my car. And I decided to blog about it becuse it made me laugh and I thought my readers should have a laugh too.
Both times I can remember losing my car occurred in college. The first time I took a friend to the airport. He had been visiting- it was not even a year after 9/11- this is important because I walked him into the airport- something people never do anymore!! So I said good-bye and went to find my car. I got in the elevator and realized I had no idea what floor to go to! I picked one and started walking aimlessly around the parking garage. I almost always park on the top floor to avoid this kind of situation- so I was so mad at myself for not doing that! Eventually I called a friend from school who drove to the PHX airport, picked me up, and we circled the garage to find my car.
The only other time I had to have help finding my car was my second semester junior year- I was taking 24 credit hours- CRAZY, I know :). The Italian class I was taking was located at a nearby community college (my credits were free at GCU up to 18- so then I'd go to a community college if I wanted more.) Anyway, I had just returned from a semester in Spain and was still adjusting. So the community college was HUGE- bigger campus than GCU- and I parked my car and went looking for my class. I'm sure I was all nervous and shaking- and dropping books, keys, sunglasses- my usual catastrophe- so I wasn't really paying attention. Class got out and I walked to my car- but it wasn't there! Phoenix does have a huge car theft problem, but I couldn't imagine anyone taking Bertha (my 1987 honda accord!)- so I walked around looking, looking, looking- after about an hour I called security- they found my location- then brought me in and we searched for my car using the security cameras- it was on the other side of the campus! So he took me back to my car in the golf cart. I felt like such an idiot!
I do know this about myself- if I don't intentionally think about where I'm leaving something I will lose it.
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On family heirlooms

David had a big test in Chicago at the end of June so I decided to go before him and visit my aunt. I had the best time with her! Before I was leaving she mentioned having a few family heirlooms I could have- I had no idea how we would get them to Detroit. Well, after talking with David we decided to rent a truck and bring them back. We brought back- a child's size rocking chair that was my grandfathers, a vanity (see picture below- we didn't put the mirror up), my grand mother's desk ( see other pic- it's hard to get the full effect of how amazing this piece is!), a bed frame that was my great grand mothers, AND since we had the truck my aunt sent beautiful bunk beds with us that she didn't want.
I'm so thankful for these antique pieces. I love being content in owning something- knowing I will never need to replace it because of the sentimental value. :)
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