I think being a Mom changes me. Not only in the obvious ways, but little by little as well. The three of us went to the Christmas tree lot last night. We decided on a smaller tree this year, only 6 feet. :) H was running around laughing and she had the greatest time. When we got home David made dinner while H and I made chocolate chip cookies. What a treat! This morning H and I got up and decorated the tree. She loved putting on all the ornaments. It didn't matter to me that all the ornaments were placed at the same level on only half the tree. The joy was watching her choose their place. How could I change their location just because trees should have ornaments scattered? She made it so beautiful. Yes, I had to consciously decide not to say anything about where the ornaments should be placed! Part of my need for control includes ornament placements. Some of the ornaments that didn't make it on the tree last year because they are kind of silly were definetely placed this year. The greatest thing about kids is that they don't analyze the ascthetic beauty in everything. The tree is beautiful to H because it is Christmas time and she was able to decorate it, not because the ornaments were expensive and perfectly placed. I think of the people who pay to have their tree put up and their ornaments on. How sad. We all need to retreat to the youthfulness of children. H is a constant reminder of how hard I try to run away from that place. I read this and think of all the ways that H does things in a more simple and beautiful way. I love watching many of the parents at our church, The Village. The allow their children to be individuals and enjoy things without their parents pressuring them with their issues. The kids are often mismatched and quite happy. At first I thought, I could never let my little girl leave the house that way! Yet I am starting to see the purpose in their madness!! David put her in these pink pants with a red shirt and then she put on a pink cowgirl hat and they went out to the grocery store last weekend. The spontaneous gesture of the hat at the last minute made her look so happy and beautiful. He does such a good job at letting her be free. We love little H and we are honored to be part of her life.