So we went to see KT Tunstall perform last weekend in Ann Arbor with friends. It was one of the best concerts I have ever been to. She is an incredible singer and guitar player!!! So if any of you ever get a chance to see her.... you must go! Here's an acoustic mix of one of her songs...although when she's with her whole band it is quite incredible too.

two cool stories

So we had our first birthing class last night. I have been praying for awhile that God would provide me with a friend...a young mother who I could connect with...or a couple that we could be friends with. So usually there's like 7 couples in these classes, but we are in it with one other married couple. So we are sharing about ourselves, why we chose this class, etc... I said I heard about it from a friend from Tucson...that we had just moved here in July. And Heather (the other mama to be) said, "Oh my gosh, we just moved here from Prescott in July!" Turns out she had wanted to go the UofA too...didn't get in for some odd reason....was accepted to UofM at the last minute and they moved here. And the day they left ARizona?? The SAME day we left! Weird. They are friendly and we'll see what God does with that friendship. So anyway, that's my first God story.

So I am sitting and reading my Bible when the phone rings, it's Dale. So I answer. (He doesn't usually call). "Hey, so I found this Graco travel system (car seat, base, and stroller) for free on freecycle and I emailed the lady. Apparently she received 75 emails and she chose me. Do you want it?" I was in shock. Apparently she received all these emails about people who wanted it and Dale was the only one looking for someone else, so she chose him. She bought it 2 years ago and it's like a $300 thing....something we never expected to own. So yeah, that's amazing.

a bend in the road

So I got bad news today. I have been a companion for 2 women at the local (mile away) retirement center in Ann Arbor. One of them has been not doing well for awhile. She's 93 years old and her health is deteriorating....not just physically, but mentally. So her family is going to use an agency to provide round the clock health care. They were so sad to say the end is nearing (within the next week or 2), but we both know it is in her best interest to have this kind of care. Plus with Baby coming I can't promise anything after birth. I mean I can promise I will work again, but I don't know if complications will arrive, or if healing after a c-section will occur....I just don't know. So yeah...we are losing 1/2 our income, which isn't half of what we had last year.
I have never felt poor and this isn't going to bring us to that "poor" state. It just sucks because I like taking the girls from the youth small group out to talk, and I like having people over and making up whatever menu I want. And I want to buy my baby whatever I feel like buying....which at this point has been only used stuff anyway!
So anyway, that's not really the significant part of my post. I guess the part that amazes me is the reaction of my husband.
He doesn't want me to stress, he doesn't want me to job search, or have a pity party. He wants me to continue to focus on the things I am working on. My ministries and my 3 other jobs....well I am losing one of those in 2 weeks too! Ironic. He's bound by the dollars that I bring home. It's a sacrifice for him too and yet he isn't angry or irrational or worried, he just believes we are going to make it.
It would be so easy for me to feel insignificant, worthless, and not a contributer at this point. And yet he reacts out of love and reminds me we will make it.
And it's so freeing because I will be able to have more time to be with my baby. And it's freeing to see how he reacts with change....tough change. And to know that when the bends come I can confide in him and know he reacts with wisdom.
So anyway. Just pray for us right now.

And really pray for Louise. Because she needs more support than I do right now. She's really suffering.

Me, resistant to change

I have always considered myself quite a chameleon... adapting to what's around me to fit in and do well. I think a lot of things about myself that are true and untrue, positive and negative. I always considered myself easy change. Until I realized that I am quite resistant....last night.

So we are at our friends' home for Bible Study and we stuck around longer than the others (as usual!) talking. Dale was describing his frustration and grief with all their friends moving away. Many many of their friends have left Ann Arbor. As you know, it's a university town...and not just young students...but through their Phd's...so they start families and create friendships....and then leave. So he was asking us again about our future....which we know nothing about, but I am quick to yell, "Tucson!"

So then David was saying how you never know what will happen. He said, "Adrienne hated Tucson when we got there. She hated the set up of the streets the lack of AC, and all she wanted to do was go back to Phoenix! She complained of not having any friends, at first a horrible job, etc.... And then she hated marriage. She didn't want to be married and would get upset all the time."

And I looked at him and asked, "Am I resistant to change?"

And he said, "You are more resistant to change than anyone I have ever met!'

I didn't realize I am so resistant. Here I thought I was so easy going! But once he started naming examples I was caught!

Obviously, I have been processing and considering my last post for a looonnnggg time, and so this conversation last night really helped me.

I guess it is helping me see that it takes me awhile to adjust. And as I previously posted, I am not there. But the good news is I fell in love with Tucson and made amazing friends, and more importantly, I fell in love with marriage!

Anyway, I just enjoyed David revealing a part of me I didn't recognize and wanted to share that with you. :)

He's amazing, by the way, just in case you forgot.

an honest post

Have you ever missed anything? Someone? A place? An object?

I think I have been missing something, someone, and an object for a long time. I miss Tucson. I miss Nogales. I miss Sedona. I miss the Village. I miss family. And on certain days I miss teaching. And I miss our house.

I recently found out 4 close friends of ours left the Village. One would think this doesn't really effect us because we are so far away and don't see them. Yet, I think it hit hard for a few reasons. First, when you are far from something you love so much you look forward to a day of reunion with great hope and joy. And to imagine our return with the baby won't be greeted with these 4 people hurts. You pray for people and learn so many things about them and then they're gone...and you aren't even there to process it, or be part of it. So it really reminds me of our absence. An absence I still protest on a daily basis. The other thing is more selfish I guess. When someone leaves a community that you love you feel rejected. I don't actually feel rejected, but I feel angry. I feel angry that they are still in Tucson and are going to different churches and we are up here missing the Village more and more... and continually trying to be connected to the community from a distance and they are choosing not to go. What I would give to be there.

I am still in this place where I don't understand the move. And I don't feel like sugarcoating it and saying that we have all these wonderful things here... because that really doesn't erase the pain of missing home. I still miss sitting on our roof drinking beer and having incredible conversations about life. And missing Halie. And flipflops with dirty feet. And I miss friends....oh how I miss friends. Following God's will through obedience can be really painful. From confessing sin, to calling out sin, to following Him all over hurts. So often God's chosen struggled with this issue as they hid from enemies, followed the Lord through the desert, or even when Jesus was preparing for the crucifixion. Even though we know He has prepared the way for us and that He wants to offer us good things, we still experience a pain or loss. It's part of living in the broken world.

And I guess I get a little annoyed with everyone expecting me to accept Ann Arbor as home because it's feels like a transition home. We are loving people and allowing people to love us. And we are learning a new community, but it is not home to me. And I get so jealous still when I talk to family and friends and here about their lives in Arizona. From the foods they're eating that I can't get, to the weather, to the conversations and everything that is said that makes my heart hurt.

So here's a toast to my grumbling and everyone's annoyances with me. You just have to love me anyway. I am the way I am. :)
And some pictures for fun. :)

the story of our eggs

So far every egg in our egg carton from the grocery store has been twins!!! Isn't that amazing!?!?! We made tortilla española with twin yolks and now I cooked an egg over easy that had twin yolks! That's 5 sets of twins. As I use the rest of our eggs I will keep you posted on the twin status!

did you know?

David built me a crib and changing tables using recycled wood...including the once existing floors at Nan and Jess' home?
Pictures to be posted.

There is nothing greater than walking into this room and seeing a small bed where our child will spend the first 2 years of life sleeping away...oh the beauty of having a baby never ends. I don't know that I have ever experienced greater joy. :)

all the windows open

Today it is warmer in Ann Arbor, MI than it is in Tucson. And also I would like to mention, 7 days ago we got about 9 inches of snow...which is obviously all gone.
Michigan weather is CRAZY.

I am enjoying the treat...I have all the windows open. ahhh fresh air...

thoughts on a long awaited visit

This trip has so many elements that have effected my experience. The hardest part of the trip is being in all the places where I used to have a doodle bug and recognizing her painful absence. From the empty seat in the shopping cart, to the missing dancing body dancing with the children at church. My heart carries this intense longing to have her with me. When we went to our old house I stepped into her newly painted room and took in a deep breath as I tried to take in the moment. It was the first safe room she ever slept in. I remember her sweet screams as she ran around the yard with Parker and Lucy. She is deeply missed.
Tucson has a feel and smell that warms up my soul with a remembrance of so many good things. I love the small homes with cacti growing all over and the additions that don't match and the yards filled with tables and chairs for evening events. I love the straight roads...so straight you can see for a mile ahead of you. I love the dirt, yes, even the dirt in my toes. I love the Tusconians, who in the 60 degree weather have thick winter jackets and go around commenting on how cold it is. :) I love sun beaming down as it awakens the night.
Staying at the Seneca House is also such a blessing. I have had so many conversations about the brokenness of our world of our community and of ourselves. I love how they encourage me as I walk into who God is making me. I love how they ask the really deep questions that make me ponder before I can respond. I love their honesty. I love their attempt to not live as this world asks.
I think the thing I need to remember is that God is offering me good things wherever I am. Enjoying my time in Arizona is a gift. But life right now is in Ann Arbor. It's Monday night dinners with Hannah and Micah, Bible Studies, Small groups, Thursday night potlucks...it's snow and grass and leaves and warm jackets. It's lots of water and great walks.
So yeah...those are my thoughts thus far.

SUN

We have arrived in Nogales! Yesterday was a very looonnngg day. We were 5 hours late getting into the air, 3 of which we were sitting in the plane, so we missed 2 flights to Tucson, but were able to catch a later flight and get in at 6:35 PM. David's father greeted us with warm hugs and good conversation on the quick hour drive down to Nogales. I awoke as the sun was rising and the sky was filled with warm orange and red colors. Wow, I miss this place.
Today we will be going to church in Mexico with David's family and then driving up to go to church in Tucson tonight. I am soooo excited :).
Know we are safe and very happy to be in Arizona.

A tribute to love on my 100th blog

Love Grows
On this exceptionally beautiful Thanksgiving Day I awoke to find a blanket of snow all around. Another gift from my Savior reminding me this is where He wants us and asking for my hand in trust once again. David knew I would love this and was the one to come in and tenderly wake me and open up the blinds, excitedely he said, "You're going to love this!" And I did.
I was thinking the other day about the love I have for my husband and I was thinking about the wonderful experiences we have had together. And it's really funny...because when I fell in love...when we were dating and we said I love you in Mexico City the first time I thought that was it! I had found love. I couldn't imagine that your love for someone grows...that it becomes deeper and stronger and to the point where two people really can't imagine life without one another.
The other interesting thing is that we have only been married 2 1/2 years...and so I think of Mom and Dad. How much their love for each other must be and how it's something we can't comprehend until we too have experienced it. And then you look at grandparents...and their long lives together. It's such a gift from God that He made us to have a life companion. And I think of those who lose their companions...like my two women at Glacier Hills...or when someone leaves us to go home when we are younger. What a wound it must cause...a pain that once again we can't know unless it happens. Even in the pain there is a beauty about finding love and staying true to your love. And taking care of that person in their sickness. It's such a testimony of vows.
I just love this season. Thanksgiving to the new year. It's full of warmth and love and joy.

So may this be a toast...a toast of celebration for blogging 100 times (even though many of you long past that mark!) and a toast to my husband....a man who knows my deepest secrets and my greatest joys. I can't wait for our love to continue to grow.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!

I am

homesick.


I miss the sun, our friends, seeing David's family every weekend, and desert landscape.

a good lunch

So I went to lunch with a wise woman today. We each ordered a half cherry chicken salad sandwhich and a salad. With our sandwhich comes chips. I ate my lunch, including the chips. She had a few chips on her plate and I snagged one. I said, "I don't have a lot of discipline. I try to eat healthy, but if there are chips it's hard to resist." And she said, "Well, I don't think eating healthy foods and avoiding unhealthy foods is discipline. I think it's just common sense."

And for all the therapy I have been there for not being disciplined enough! I should have chosen what is right!!!
(Just kidding).



(kind of).

moments you hope will never end

After going to the apple orchard with some of our friends we went over to our friend's John's parent's house. There were John and Ellie (married 1 year), Steven and Lindsay (married 5 months), and Hannah and Micah (dating). First, the girls and I sat around the table and asked questions about our relationships, and other topics...

then we all sat in the living room and started talking and laughing so hard our stomachs hurt.

I looked around the room and thought to myself, I wish this moment would never end.

taking care of the elderly

I finally found the courage to ask how her husband died. Was he sick or did it happen suddenly? The story she told me opened up my heart for the elderly and how they, like children, need people to fight for them and help them.
She woke up to find him sick. She didn't think much of it and began to clean up the mess. She soon realized she needed to call 911. The paramedics came and took him to the hospital. She didn't have her shoes and socks on so she didn't go in the ambulance. (This alone is saddening. How much would it have taken for a medic to help her with her shoes and socks to be with her husband.) She arrived at the hospital and no one could tell her where he was. She didn't know where to sit or what to do because no one would give her any answers...so she drove home. When she arrived back, the director heard her story and called the hospital to find out where he was. She deserved to be with her husband. The hospital told the director to send the woman back...accompanied by a family member.
It never occurred to her that he might die. He had had heart surgeries and worse symptoms and always came through. If only she had been there to tell the medics they shouldn't use the defibulator...or to tell them his history. She thinks about this day at night when she's falling asleep. If only she could have been there when he left this world.

I have been raised to fight for what I want. I don't go home and wonder where my husband is, I demand to see him.

There comes a point when we can't fight anymore. Where time passes slowly and everyday tasks take an immense amount of time to accomplish.

My experiences working with the elderly are awakening another part of my compassionate heart that hadn't been touched before.

We need to take better care of our elderly.