I had a great time with the youth this weekend. We went to a camp up north called Center Lake. It was nestled among tall trees and a large lake. The leaves are red, orange, yellow, and green. It's quite beautiful. One of the high school students said, "God is so cool. He gave us these beautiful trees and put leaves on them...but he didn't leave them green. He must of thought to himself, 'when fall comes I will have the leaves change colors and really bless others with their beauty." And then she paused, "I would have just left them green."
Some highlights of the retreat were: playing games with the kids, climbing the wall, and beginning to get into some deep conversations.
Three of my regular girls at Bible Study came up to me at the end of camp and said, "You have to be with all four years! You can't ever leave." I felt warm and fuzzy inside!!!

God has been teaching me a lot lately. One of the things He is walking me through is quite difficult. As many of you saw in a recent email, H is not doing well. I was able to get an update and it was quite overwhelming. So I called Sue and in between tears fought the words, "I don't know what to do anymore." And she said, "Do you think it's time to let go?" The quesiton that I feared most.
God is asking me to let go, but it's the details that are the hardest. Ok, she's yours Lord. I won't pursue her and if you want her with us you will work your plan.
And then I find her picture in my journal, do you want that too? Yes.
You want her painting of our family? Yes.
You want me not to worry about her at all? Yes.
Letting go of something is extremely difficult. I have a whole new understanding for those who experience loss. Here I am 5 months after her departure and I still am holding on.
I have been sharing this experience with many for a few reasons. The biggest is so that I can be kept accountable.