1.
Bentley graduated from the Early Intervention Program this past spring and was promoted to be part of an ECDD (Early Childhood Developmental Disabilities) classroom. There was a misunderstanding when we did the exit interview in June. I thought they were going to place him in a classroom, but they thought I wanted to put him in a Head Start and not do an ECCDD classroom. So I have been making some calls, but no one knew if he was placed or where, so finally on Monday I went downtown to take to the Special Education department at DPS.... turns out he wasn't placed. The school I wanted him in is less than a mile from our house, but it is full. So they placed him at Outer Drive and Gratiot which is like 5 mi. away and takes 10 min. at least. It is also well located in the Hood. Yes, we live in the Hood, but I know this place and I feel comfortable here... I don't know that area of town.
When I left the building I felt so discouraged. I called the teacher at the school where I want him and she will let me know if a child doesn't show up within 20 days and maybe Bentley can have that spot.
David and I have been very outspoken about our desire to send the boys to the public school because we believe it is a valuable way to be part of transformation and change in this community. I was really looking forward to getting my foot in the door and meeting more families in this community in a setting that is equal- we both are sending our kids to a school- and not me handing out a backpack or a flier- or trying to get to know a person without having anything in common.
We have been praying for God's wisdom in where to send Bentley to preschool for several months. It has been a very long and painful process for me. Don't we all long to send our children to the best schools with the best teachers so that we can help them be the best? Well, I am faced with that in my 3 year old. Research shows that what we do NOW will echo greatly into his future. Well, right now we live in one of the poorest cities with one of the worst educational systems... so what am I supposed to do with that? Trust in the Lord. I hear the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit... Cast all your fears on Him for He cares for you.
So finally I submit to sending Bentley to the local public school and it doesn't even work out! Blah!
So here's what's cool about God and Bentley and Me. God is continually showing me that He is in control of Bentley- perfectly guiding His will for my child's life. I am praying through if God intends for us to keep Bentley home another year. Kristen Selle (who is special ed certified) has offered to work with him one on one 2x a week.
Join us in praying this weekend about preschool (since it starts on Tuesday!) And continue those prayers as we seek the Lord in how to best care for Bentley's education over the course of his life.
I will try to keep you posted.
2.
Bentley has been receiving physical therapy services for about a month at the Detroit Institute for Children (DIC). He has been approved to begin speech and we are waiting to hear back about occupational.
It's interesting because in the DPS school system they didn't see a need for physical or occupational, but at the DIC the therapists have made his needs clear.
He's been receiving the services on our old insurance which I fear we will lose very soon because David has an income and we have new insurance. Our new insurance is in network only and the DIC is probably not considered in network. So you can guess where I am going with this...
I am earnestly praying daily that somehow in some way God is going to work this whole insurance thing out so Bentley can continue to receive the services the DIC has to offer. He is really benefiting from the DIC and I really want to keep him there.
If all goes well, he will be receiving physical therapy once a week for one hour. Speech once a week for a half hour (unless I can get it upped for more) and occupational 2 x a week for 1 hour a session.
3.
As many know, Bentley had a minor surgery scheduled for Monday to open the clogged tear ducts in his eyes. We arrived at the hospital and got all dressed down for surgery- talked to several doctors- the attending anesthesiologist was talking with us when Bentley coughed a very labored mucousy cough. She looked at us and said, "This child is sick and I cannot do surgery. I am sorry." Apparently it is dangerous to put a person under anesthesia with a cold (if you have the choice to wait) and putting a child with Down syndrome under with a cold is even more risky because of his low muscle tone.
Choosing to even do the surgery was a whole process for David and I. We spent most of the weekend in agony over it. David just couldn't decide if he wanted to put Bentley through it- there are severe risks- low risks- but risks. Our friend Matt was over on Saturday and he is an ENT (ears,nose,throat) resident- so his first year is all surgery- It was such a relief to hear from someone who sees several patients a day put under anesthesia... and sees them wake up. He was very comforting. He is going to be a great ENT. :)
So... we decide to go through the surgery and what happens?!!? He can't have it.
At first I was frustrated that it couldn't just be done anyway. But as the day went on I realized that the Lord's Sovereign hand was once again upon our family.
I think God is refining me to trust Him more with my children... especially Bentley. Bentley has so many more needs than Clayton and I go through seasons where it feels like all I am doing is making phone calls and scheduling appointments- These things are good to do, but I have to remind myself that I am not in control of the outcome. I humbly and faithfully am asked to care the needs of my family, but I cannot control the result. This is the reality of every parent. We guide our children in the way of the Lord, but we cannot make them do what we want- and I cannot make others give him what I want him to have.
And so we faithfully do what we can then trust.
How is God refining you?
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