connections

So a couple weeks ago David and I had the privilege of sharing our story with the 1st year medical students at WSU. The purpose was for the students who were finishing up their coursework in genetics to gain insight and compassion from families of children with genetic abnormalities. This was our 4th year in a row. I love this opportunity because it's important to share the joy of Bentley with others so that people can gain compassion and also see that he isn't a life that should've been terminated because of his disability. I feel very strongly that people with genetic abnormalities should be given life- that God knit them together in their mothers' wombs with a purpose. If a pregnant mother thought she couldn't handle a child with special needs there are many families who lovingly adopt and care for these children.

So my friend (Carrie) called me today to encourage me because she had been on a walk with another friend (Colleen) recently. So Colleen's niece (I think that's the relationship) is pregnant with a child who has an abnormality of some sort- the diagnosis is still unclear. Well either the pregnant mother or her husband was in the room when David and I shared our story. So they were telling Rich and Colleen about this young couple who had brought their son with DS to the panel and had shared their story and it was really powerful, etc.. So now Colleen wants to connect me with this young mom.

Raising a child with special needs has proven to be quite difficult. I can't read the normal parenting books and apply them to Bentley. In fact, most of the advice that I receive I get from a friend who has a son with DS. Bentley has a special gift that we call menacing. He is able to find anything in a room that he shouldn't play with and do just THAT. Just this morning he took a cup that Clayton had been drinking from and started to drink from it... typical.... and then he turned and poured all the water out... everywhere. Why? What was he thinking?!?! I am constantly thinking of ways to raise Bentley to be thoughtful, compassionate, independent, and obedient. He consumes a lot of my brain activity! My latest trial is to keep him close to me and bring him everywhere I go around the house and allow him opportunities to be helpful. He really loves to be helpful and do what I do, but he cannot do this if he isn't directly assisted. For so long I wanted him to be independent and be able to leave him in a room without destroying something- but this has proved failure over and over again. So I am trying to train him to successful within the limits that he is capable of (this is a very fine line).

Raising a child with special needs has also proven to be joyful. Bentley has a very tender and compassionate heart. Even in his stubbornness he will relinquish a toy to his fitful brother just to see Clayton happy again. He always greets friends with a hug and kiss. If given appropriate activities he will joyfully spend time alone playing. He claps for all sort of things I wouldn't have noticed.

Life is about connections. It's about connecting with another to continue in our fight towards righteousness. Bentley continually pushes me to pursue Christ and seek ways to love others more fully- to discover creative ways to raise my children in the Lord. The genetics panel allows us to share our story- the joys and the difficulties- with prospective doctors. Doctors are on the front line in diagnosing patients and their way of brining that information to families is vital in the families' responses. My heart is that people will see Bentley has a life that has value.... that the pursuit of having perfect children who go to perfect schools and have perfect jobs and marry perfect people would be challenged with the opportunity to raise a child that will rock your view of what life is all about.

Anyway, after a really rough morning with 2 very tired little boys it's a good reminder that children are a blessing. :)

And here's a recent goofy video of the menace.