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We made it!

Clayton and I boarded the amtrak train in Detroit this morning at 11:20 AM. We had 2 seats to ourselves. The train ride was about 6.5 hrs. We slept, tooks walks- played... It was a lot of fun! When we arrived in Chicago we had to walk about 2 miles to our hotel. So I had my hiking pack on my back. Clayton on my front, and I pushed the diaper bag in the stroller. It was a beautiful walk through downtown- even though we almost got blown over twice!! (It really is the windy city!!)Clayton stared at the sky for the whoke walk and sai, "babab bababab bababb..." So cute! We arrived at the hotel and were warmly greeted by friends from church!! Anway, Clayton did wonderful and I'm looking forward to some good bonding with him and my church family. More updates to come!!
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CCDA conference

I am off to the Christian Community Development Association Conference in Chicago, IL. Last year I went and it was in Cincinnati, Ohio. I am taking the train with Clayton. David's mom is flying in to take care of Bentley this week. It's the first time I'll be away from him for this long--- well at all... ever. So it's really weird. I am gonna miss my little guy. And it doesn't help that he was very disobedient today! Anyway, here's the promo video that explains what the conference is about. I am sure I will have lots to say when I get home. :)

introduction to the posts

So you'll notice I have a lot of posts... first, read the letter, and then I responded. Enjoy. :)

the letter

Hey you - I just spend a significant amount of time updating myself on your blog, and I thought that I'd respond to you this way, rather than on your blog (maybe give you a few things to think about? : ))).

So, Dave and I spent two years working with inner-city youth. Now, we didn't live in the city that we worked in, but honestly, we didn't feel callled to do so. We were building a foundation for our marriage, and our 8 hours of work a day was challenging enough on us (Dave threw up every single morning the first year we worked at Carol City...it was a rough year). Looking back, I wouldn't change what we did (as far as not living in the city). However, I'm with you on the whole "safe" thing. I never felt "unsafe" while I was there. Well...never might be the wrong word...rarely, and if so, really not signifcantly unsafe (regardless of our almost weekly lockdowns due to the fact that we had a Popeyes next store that was robbed constantly, and the stupid robbers would come onto our campus to seek shelter...guh, so annoying).

Jesus says that the "poor will always be with you" (obviously said in one of the Gospels...I'm going to go with Matthew just off the top of my head...could be wrong!). I hate this statement, but after spending two years working with the poor, I understand it. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't do anything about it - that's not what I'm saying - it just means what it says...poverty will always exist on this earth...sad, but true.

It's my belief and convinction that we should help the poor. It's always been my belief and convinction that we all do that in different ways. Unlike you, I don't think that everyone should up and move into poor cities...I think that you need to be CALLED to do this. You made a statement about simply "throwing money" at the schools. I get that money isn't going to solve poverty; however, schools and other programs do need financial backing in order to suceed. What if someone's part in helping the poor is providing that financial backing and support? Is that somehow wrong and/or not as valuable? God is calling that person to use his/her resources (financial in this case) and calling someone else to use differnet resources (time, hospitality, ect.). What is your opinion about that? (BTW - I know that you're not being judgemental on your blog...I just wanted to throw some stuff out there for you to think about :)).

As far as the school systems go and sending my kiddos there...that is a tough one. I completely agree with you on the "selfish" argument (as in, of course I will care about where my kids go to school way more than some other school!). But again, I think that all families and all kids are different, and we all receive different "callings/challenges/burdens" (whatever you want to call i!) from God. This is obviously something that God has placed on your heart, and I LOVE that. Does it make it wrong...or does it make me less of a believer (wrong wording, but you get it)...if He hasn't placed it on my heart to live in inner-city Portland and send my kiddos to those schools (I know that's not what you're saying, it's just what I'm pondering!)?

At this point in our lives, Dave and I are planning on moving to the Westside of Portland and putting our kids in the best schools that we know of. Then I read your blog, and I'm going...dang, what in the world is she going to think of us?! : ) Are we doing something wrong because this is our desire? Our we listening to what God wants of us and our family? And then I go...but there are non-believers in the suburbs too!! Although these people aren't poor in a financial sense, there is still much "poverty" in the suburbs as well...it just comes in a different form.

All in all, I want to listen to what God wants of us and for us as a family. I want my kids to "shine like stars in the universe"...I want them to be lights. Sadly, there is darkness everywhere, so it's just a matter of "what" darkness Christ is calling us to live in.

Ok, those are my thoughts on your thoughts : ) Like you, I'm not judging...your blog just got me thinking and praying, so I thought that I'd type some of it out to you and see what your thoughts are. I greatly respect you, your opinion, and most importantly, your faith. You are one amazing woman my dear.

Love you -
Cindy<><

20 best of Detroit

So the church we attended in Ann Arbor is going to be doing this Step into Compassion thing... I'm not exactly sure what it is, but David's aunt is on the team that is writing the devotional. Anyway, she asked me to find some of my favorite pictures of Detroit that capture the culture, history, and customs... I went through all the pics I had and came up with these. Obviously if I went out for a month and took pictures based on these themes I get a much better mix, but by using only what I had saved I think the group is pretty good.
Anyway, here they are... which one is your favorite???
http://picasaweb.google.com/Adriennelynne82/20bestdet#

I'm reading a lot of books right now- many of them I've read before. I received an email with some great questions about one of my previous posts and putting my thoughts together to respond on my blog.
So this morning I was reading this book I got for my birthday last year called ENOUGH: Contentment in an Age of Excess. It's really good.

I am going to post something I read (pg. 61)- it's a harsh reality of the American church.

You spend too much time thinking about and wishing for the end of the world. Why are you so anxious to bring about God's judgment? And what kinds of people you have become, thinking the world will end tomorrow?
In your arrogance and laziness you have forgotten why I have placed you here. You have endless conferences and seminars on "how to do church," but you have forgotten to be the church, a people who live as an alternative community, pointing all people toward me through loving service
You grown rich exploiting the poor. You bring a tiny pittance of that money back to me and say, "God, you have been so good to us." But your money smells like crap in my nostrils. It sickens me and I don't want it. Give it back to the poor from which it came.
You grow more food than you need by destroying the very soil I gave you to tend. You sit down to a sumptuous buffet and say, "Look how God has blessed us." I have not blessed you. I have left you to your own destruction.
There will come a day when the womb of the earth will no longer produce and the poor will rise up and pledge never to sew a cheap garment again. You will grow hungry and your shopping malls will close. Then you will turn to me and cry, "God, why you have you rejected us?" And I will say, "I have not rejected you. I have been here all along, waiting for you all along."
So turn your face toward me now. Seek after me. Live out my commands. Do you want to be people after my own heart? Then care for the poor, the needy, the marginalized, those for whom my heart beats loudly. Cease your endless Bible studies, searching for the answer to righteous living. Commit yourselves to following what I already told you to do. Don't believe you are pursing me if you are not seeking to do justice.
Care for the planet. .You have become so worried about who might advocate this course of action that you forgot it was one of my first commandments to you. Tend well what I have give you.
Seek the welfare of your community. As people in exile, your future and the future of the planet you live are one and the same. So make your world more whole, that you might be more holy.
And live in love. I had hoped that you'd get that message when my Son joined humanity and demonstrated sacrificial love in action. But you are so worried about his return that you forgot why he came. Be a people shaped by the model of Jesus, not just the prospect of escaping the world I have asked you to help heal.

update

David applied for a scholarship this past year and he didn't get it. It would have given us a large sum of money each year for the next four years. The scholarship is given to students going into family practice. With the news that he didn't get the scholarship David decided to rethink his options. He has decided to do internal medicine/pediatrics. Family residency programs in Detroit are really lacking, and the Detroit Medical Center (DMC) has IM/PED residency that looks really good. Because Arizona only has one medical school it doesn't have the greatest residency programs for what we want.
So at this point we are looking into staying in Detroit for the next 4 years. (The IM/PED program is 4 years instead of 3).

We still have a few months to think and pray about this. I know many of you have been praying for us and I wanted to make sure I keep you updated. :)

"Do small things with great love" - Mother Teresa

"Or don't open the door!" -Shane Claiborne


Last year I heard Shane Claiborne at the CCDA conference- going again in 2 weeks in CHICAGO!!!

Anyway, he lives in inner city Philly and they have a policy in their community house about being willing to love on each person that they open the door to, and if you're too tired or worn out or whatever... you just don't open the door.

I like this.

Love of Home

So yesterday I had a few experiences happen that forced me to think about the emotions behind some of the things I have been/and will be writing about.
The first thing was I got a comment on my previous blog entry that caused me to stop and think. It was mostly helpful in seeing the truth behind some of the words and implications I made- and I made adjustments accordingly. More on that later.
The second thing was a dear friend of mine (from Detroit- we'll call her Christie shared with me how it was painful to hear another friend (lives in surrounding suburb)- we'll call her Mary- not want to move here because essentially it's not good enough for her and her family.
Initially I was mad about the comment on my blog, but after talking with Christie about some of the comments that were painful, I realized we all love where we come from. And often people from the outside see things that either are not the reality of life in that place- or say things that are true, but hard to hear.
I'd like to defend and reveal to you the reasons for the "harsh" language...
In defense of Nogales- I LOVE Nogales. It's one of my favorite places. I love the culture- the people- the fact that David's family is there and takes me to the most delicious restaurants and I can buy lots of cheap things at the "cinderella" stores. I have never felt unwelcomed or unsafe. If God wills- I would LOVE to return to Nogales one day to raise my children there. Also, the landscape in Nogales is BEAUTIFUL. With that said, many people who are operating on a different value system- or who only read the news find it to be a "dangerous" place. I use quotations with dangerous because I don't feel unsafe when I'm there, but there are drug wars going on. I also know that there were people who thought the Crawfords were a little crazy for moving there with kids. Yes, I know- this thought is infuriating, but it's true. I use Nogales as a contrast of Detroit because it's a place that people are afraid of- or unwilling to raise their kids there- and don't necessarily want to go to- unless they're traveling through to go to the Mexican side and eat out or shop.
Back to Detroit.
David and I were challenged on more than one occasion that living in Detroit is a bad idea and that we're putting our lives in danger. Ok, I don't feel unsafe here. There are things I avoid- gas stations after dark, walks after dark... but there are MANY more things I do- walks with the boys alone, finding niches around the city I like to go to- and enjoying some great things big cities have to offer. I have friends who feel uncomfortable getting gas or even driving alone to my house- I think I have had at least 3 girlfriends who are unwilling to drive here alone (they live in other cities). This is not a mean thing to say, it's the truth of something I have experienced. If I told my neighbors this they'd probably say something like, "For real?! They don't have to be scared. Detroit isn't THAT bad!" Inside they'd probably be a little insulted. My friend Christie felt this way. She struggled to hear that Mary wouldn't feel comfortable putting her kids in the schools here.
My challenge in posting things like this is to challenge the truth behind our thoughts. When we won't move to a place because the schools are bad or it's "unsafe" or for whatever reason- we are making the implication that those people are not good enough for me and mine. It continues the cycles of being divided. I'm not telling you all to get up and move to poor areas- well I guess I am- but I am not being JUDGMENTAL about it- I'm just putting the challenge out there. I love you, my readers, and I want to celebrate what God is doing in your lives- and share what He's doing in mine.
So let this be the post that lays the foundation for when I talk about Nogales or Detroit. I love both cities. And I say things that aren't necessarily true- especially to people from those places- but I am saying them and contrasting them because a lot of people believe they're true- and there's some sarcasm behind my words- most probably know this- but if you don't know me I can see how you would misinterpret what I am trying to say, especially when my writing isn't as clear as I'd like it to be.

Anyway, I apologize for initially mis-representing Nogales and I hope I've adequately changed the wording. I apologize if any ofmy words and challenging and painful to read. I'm likely to make lots of mistakes on my blog and I've changed my comments so they come through me first- so if you want to suggest something I will read it and consider to change a post. :)

I get very frustrated with people sometimes and I am very passionate about what I do. I have a HOT list of topics that if you get me going I will use strong words and defend what I think is true to the point of exhaustian. :) This is something you all should love about me, and help shape me to do this, but with love. I am proud to have strong convictions, but not necessarily in making people feel badly.

More controversial posts to come.

on education and Detroit

The big conversation around here lately has been about education. In case you've missed the news, or David's mentioning it on his blog- the education system in Detroit is failing. It's failing children. Twenty-five percent of freshman who START high school will graduate. Many students won't even step in the doors. Elementary schools are full (like around the country), but there are many disciplinary problems due to the lack of adequate parenting. Teachers are overwhelmed and tired. Schools continue to close forcing many to go job hunting again. It's a mess, a real mess. There are some charter schools that seem to be acceptable, and two high schools that appear to be great- but students are accepted into them.
The reason education has been topic of conversation is many of the families at Mack Ave community Church moved into this city. We come from resourced families and solid backgrounds. We've always had our needs met. We came to this city to live among people and do life with people. We aren't here to do anything to anybody, but alongside. My kids play with the kids all up and down our block and they have a great time.
And now we're being faced with the coveted educational options.
Many families that have moved here can afford Ambleside School (a Christian school in SW Detroit), the Waldorf (around the corner where our church currently meets), or they can afford surrounding suburban private schools.
These are not necessarily bad options, but then what we're doing is saying- I'm willing to live here in Detroit- surround myself with the drama, but I am not willing to let my kids go to school with your kids because your school isn't good enough for my kids.
Now don't get feisty on me yet- hear me out to the end of my post!
So then what happens is many people who move into Detroit hoping to be part of the change (people who are from all different faiths and beliefs)- end up sending their kids to schools other than the neighborhood schools.
I've done a lot of reading by a man named Robert Lupton. We had the opportunity to meet with him privately last year at the CCDA convention. He moved into inner city Atlanta when it wasn't a beautiful place- he moved into the ghetto with his family.
One of the things he did was send his children to the neighborhood school. It's so cool what the church did. They were able to create a group of volunteers who went into that school to help create order so the teachers could do their jobs and teach! They took all the kids with severe discipline issues next door to the church (this was 30 years ago!) and were able to begin teaching them behavior strategies, etc... and then as they were able, those children reintegrated into the classroom. Over time that neighborhood school became a place that educated children- a safe place among the ruins of Atlanta. I don't think that school would have changed without someone with resources- time, money, education, and the desire for change.
I think the same is here in Detroit. All we read about it how the education system is failing, and no one wants to "risk" their kids education to make the schools better.
Think about this:
Because Robert and his wife were willing to place their kids in an inadequate school and be part of the change- they changed that school for THOUSANDS of children. That thought seriously gives me goosebumps.
I hear people say all the time- well, I can send my kids to "X" school while also helping out the local public school. I challenge this thought to be untrue. You cannot and will not be able to pour the amount of energy and time into something that is not affecting your family. I guarantee you that if Bentley and Clayton are in the local school- Marcus Garvey- I will be overly involved in ensuring a classroom that is adequate for them. We are by nature selfish. And I will selfishly be involved in my boys' education- but this selfishness will change the lives of many many other children. Does that not excite you? It excites me.
As I am writing this the song by the David Crowder Band came on:
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way?

As I read the chorus about how he loves us- O! how he loves us- pictures of the beautiful children in my neighborhood flash before my eyes. I've come to love the children on my block in a way that is deeply ROOTED in Christ's love. I want to see them succeed. I see the extreme poverty that surrounds and entangles them and I dearly want to see them freed from that. And God has revealed to me a way that I can actually be a part of that- a way that is bigger than throwing money at them- but being part of their lives.

I also want to add this important truth. When David was 11 years old his parents moved him from the beautiful, safe, rural place of Spring Arbor, MI to the poor and "dangerous" location of Nogales, AZ (yep, the one that's all over the news these days)- They sent their children to the local school- where they were one of few white kids- and the kids in the classroom often chose to speak Spanish. The reason I bring this up is to remind you that David and his siblings did just fine. They were still able to go to wonderful colleges/universities and able to get good jobs. I think it probably changed them in even better ways considering the occupations they've chosen- doctor, missionary, social worker, and pastor. Although the news portrays Nogales as a poor and "dangerous" place, it's a place that we love. It's a place that helped shape David's family. The point of this being to challenge where we choose to raise our kids- because even though places seem one way- the reality is that God is working and moving.

Last year Bentley got the boot from receiving therapy in Ann Arbor and has been in the Detroit Public School system for 8 months now. It is not nearly as good or as beautiful as what is happening in Ann Arbor if you look at it from a worldly stand point- but Bentley and I are meeting families from our city- and we are going to be part of something exciting and challenging. Bentley is not suffering- I think he's going to be even better equipped to Kingdom living because of this change. And I am so thankful that Ann Arbor booted us because I'm not sure I would have willingly un-enrolled him there.

So I am challenging you all- who I deeply love- to consider these thoughts and think about them. Don't get angry and defensive. I'm not. Embrace these ideas- mull and agonize over them. Rejoice with me that God is doing something big here in the Crawford home- that He is really growing us.

back at it

I have done a horrible job updating my blog lately. God is doing some amazing things here and in me. And I definitely need to be sharing that more regularly. I think I get a group of thoughts and I know I don't have time to write them all so I don't write any of them. There's no sense in that! So here's me blogging again!!

On losing cars

I was laying in bed this morning thinking about times I've lost my car. And I decided to blog about it becuse it made me laugh and I thought my readers should have a laugh too.
Both times I can remember losing my car occurred in college. The first time I took a friend to the airport. He had been visiting- it was not even a year after 9/11- this is important because I walked him into the airport- something people never do anymore!! So I said good-bye and went to find my car. I got in the elevator and realized I had no idea what floor to go to! I picked one and started walking aimlessly around the parking garage. I almost always park on the top floor to avoid this kind of situation- so I was so mad at myself for not doing that! Eventually I called a friend from school who drove to the PHX airport, picked me up, and we circled the garage to find my car.
The only other time I had to have help finding my car was my second semester junior year- I was taking 24 credit hours- CRAZY, I know :). The Italian class I was taking was located at a nearby community college (my credits were free at GCU up to 18- so then I'd go to a community college if I wanted more.) Anyway, I had just returned from a semester in Spain and was still adjusting. So the community college was HUGE- bigger campus than GCU- and I parked my car and went looking for my class. I'm sure I was all nervous and shaking- and dropping books, keys, sunglasses- my usual catastrophe- so I wasn't really paying attention. Class got out and I walked to my car- but it wasn't there! Phoenix does have a huge car theft problem, but I couldn't imagine anyone taking Bertha (my 1987 honda accord!)- so I walked around looking, looking, looking- after about an hour I called security- they found my location- then brought me in and we searched for my car using the security cameras- it was on the other side of the campus! So he took me back to my car in the golf cart. I felt like such an idiot!
I do know this about myself- if I don't intentionally think about where I'm leaving something I will lose it.
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On family heirlooms

David had a big test in Chicago at the end of June so I decided to go before him and visit my aunt. I had the best time with her! Before I was leaving she mentioned having a few family heirlooms I could have- I had no idea how we would get them to Detroit. Well, after talking with David we decided to rent a truck and bring them back. We brought back- a child's size rocking chair that was my grandfathers, a vanity (see picture below- we didn't put the mirror up), my grand mother's desk ( see other pic- it's hard to get the full effect of how amazing this piece is!), a bed frame that was my great grand mothers, AND since we had the truck my aunt sent beautiful bunk beds with us that she didn't want.
I'm so thankful for these antique pieces. I love being content in owning something- knowing I will never need to replace it because of the sentimental value. :)
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We've been having a wonderful time up here at the cottage. It is so peaceful and serene. Yesterday I had the chance to go to Traverse City and snoop around the stores. Traverse City is not far from the cottage and located right on Lake Michigan. It is a very BEAUTIFUL and fun city. Last week I picked up a newspaper filled with things you can do with kids in T.C. There are mom clubs and parks and all kinds of fun family things to do. It's an ideal place for young families. As I was shopping in the boutiques I was astounded by the amount of money people spend on things. There was this purse that was for sale- it looked like a Coach purse. The tag said $80, which would be cheap, but then it said "Not authentic". I would never buy a name brand purse, but to think anyone would spend $80 on a bag that says Coach is beyond my understanding. So anyway- all this shopping in boutiques and seeing beautiful perfect families got me to thinking... I don't want my children to grow up amazed when they see poverty- and sad that people live that way (well I do want them to have compassion). But I plan to raise my kids among the poor and hope they're surprised by the wealth.
I hope you all keep my accountable to these types of thoughts! It is very easy to want a safe and peaceful life in Traverse City, but it is not where God has called us.
I love Isaiah 61 in thinking about such things.
Anyway- thoughts to ponder. ;)
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I'm testing to see if I can post to my blog from my phone. :)
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