with you

David and I have been walking through what has become one of the most difficult times we've had as a couple- and the difficulty doesn't sit between us, but outside of us. We continue to grow closer and more united.
I prayed the Lord would give me scripture to meditate on and from the beginning he gave me the simple verse my children were learning, "Then the Lord appeared to him and said, 'Do not be afraid for I will be with you.'"

God is not with me like a person or even a flower or even the wind is with me. I can't see God- can't feel God- can't taste God. But I know He's here. And He's made me feel more aware of His great presence than ever.
I wish I had documented some of these sweet stories of late- at any rate- here's the one from yesterday...


Easter Sunday.


We were invited to go to church with our friends on the SW side of Detroit and then have dinner at their home. Their children got sick and they had to cancel dinner yesterday morning. We decided to go to their church- enjoy the pancake breakfast- and meet new people. The breakfast was great and I met some really neat people. The church is a covenant church with Lutheran roots. The second service is a liturgical service that uses the Lutheran Book of Worship. So I grew up in the Evangelical Lutheran Church- my dad is a pastor. Hearing the liturgy brought me back to my childhood- I could almost recite the responses by memory. In many ways it felt like the Lord brought me to a safe place- a place where I first met God. I grew up responding to the pastor- I didn't know what I was saying- there was no richness. Yet yesterday in this church I realized the words are full of depth-

Pastor: Almighty God, to whom all hearts are open, all desires known, from whom to secrets are hid: cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirist, that we may perfectly love you and worthily magnify your holy name, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
All: if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, God who is faithful and just will forgive our sins and cleans us from all unrighteousness.


Reflection.

Most merciful God,
we confess that we have sinned against you
in thought, word, and deed,
by what we have done,
and by what we have left undone.
We have not loved you with our whole heart;
we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.
We are truly sorry and we humbly repent.
For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ,
have mercy on us and forgive us;
that we may delight in your will,
and walk in your ways,
to the glory of your Name. Amen.

Obviously you could recite these words and not mean them- you could go with the flow- or you could choose to engage with the body of Christ and experience the power of confession, repentance, and forgiveness.

Anyway, so church was a mix of emotions.

So we get home and I dont' know what we are gonna eat for Easter dinner- and I don't know who is coming. So I am starting to feel anxious and sad that it will be a small group.


We decide on cheese fondue and chocolate fondue.



Our friend calls (I had mentioned we might do fondue at church) and he would like to come with their kid and bring his friends!

So around 4 everyone gathers- 7 adults and 5 kids and we sit at the table to celebrate Easter together. Turns out our new friends are from LA- moved to Detroit to start a new life- have traveled the world- and are excited about community gardens, communal living, engaging the community....




The Lord once again provided in my need.

Psalm 34
I will extol the Lord at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
2 I will glory in the Lord;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
3 Glorify the Lord with me;
let us exalt his name together.

4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
6 This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.

8 Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
9 Fear the Lord, you his holy people,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
11 Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
12 Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
13 keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from telling lies.
14 Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.

15 The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
and his ears are attentive to their cry;
16 but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
to blot out their name from the earth.

17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

19 The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the Lord delivers him from them all;
20 he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.

21 Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
22 The Lord will rescue his servants;
no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.