I read something once that encouraged parents when approached by someone asking for money to invite the kids into the decision. I loved this idea because I have found children to be very generous. First of all, it isn't their money. There isn't a sense of ownership or work involved- it's just money. Secondly, I have found kids like to be helpful. They are curious about people in wheelchairs, curious about those who act differently, and wonder why someone would ask for money- and they want to help.
So today I stopped on Woodward to fill my car up with gas. Lily announced she had to pee, but I told her she had to wait until we got Bentley from school- about a 10 minute drive. I finished pumping the gas and went to drive away and she started crying that she really had to pee. So we pulled up front and I took her into the gas station. On our way out a man approached me in front of the kids- after warning them about the icy sidewalks- and asked me if I had any money. I usually say, "No I am sorry I don't carry cash." But I happen to have a quarter in my pocket so I handed it to him. I got the kids in the car and realized I had money in a drawer- my heart began to pound- the kind of pound that requires a response. The man was walking away- I thought I should chase him- but I hadn't entered the kids into the conversation yet. So I waited. He came back and began looking for cans in the trash. I said, "That man asked us for money and I found this money here in the car- should we give it to him?" Clayton's reply, "NO- I AM NOT DOING MY SEATBELT AGAIN." - I reminded him that he didn't have to move- I would share the money- I just wanted to know if he thought I should. Lily's immediate response was, "YES! WE SHOULD GIVE HIM THE MONEY. MOM, GIVE IT TO HIM!"
So I got the money in my hand and walked over to the man in front of my van and I said, "Sir, I found this money in my car." He thanked me- told me he's been sleeping on the streets for 10 years. I didn't know what to say. I just walked back to the car. I probably should've said that it was from my kids- but I didn't rehearse in my head- so the words just came out....
When I got back to the car I praised the kids for wanting to share the money.
"Mom, why does he need money?"
I led them through a series of questions- how do we get money? What does Daddy do? What does our money pay for? (food, clothes, apartment). What would happen if Daddy didn't have money? How would we get those things? Doesn't God ask us to share with those who don't have anything? Do you know he sleeps on the street every night when you're in your bed? Don't you think we have all the money we need to buy things? Shouldn't we share?
They both agreed we should give money to people who don't have it.
There are bigger theories and problems and things to talk about as they grow up. But since I have them in this sweet young stage I want them to learn kindness. If I can teach them to be generous and thoughtful now- I can only hope they'll learn to be generous as they grow.
For now, we will continue to give away toys regularly (they do this so well!), share our clothes, give money when we have it in our pockets, hand out halloween candy, and give of our time.
Most days I have no idea what I am doing in this parenting gig- but today I remember something I had read- and at the right time I was able to teach them....
look for ways this week to teach your kids about generosity- you'll really enjoy hearing their little hearts of love. :)
(photo of bird feeding off water was taken in Spain/2007 and photo of child taking cheerio from mom was taken The Village/2007).
1 comment:
I love this. I've been really thinking about this lately too. I've come to the mindset that I can't use the "they are just going to buy alcohol" excuse anymore. All I can do is be generous with the gifts that God has given me and if someone uses it for something "not good" they will be held responsible, just as I am.
What a great convo with your kids!
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