Send me on my way

Last night we went to a friend's house for dinner. It was excellent! There were 9 of us and we shared in the preparations and cooking. It was a bonding time. :) Music was playing in the background and the song, Send Me On My Way, by Rusted Roots came on. At first I recognized it as a song that I enjoy, nothing more. This morning I found the song online and was listening to it a bit closer and I realized the special meaning.... One day we were driving home with H and the song came on in the car. I turned up the volume and we were dancing around in our seats. When we arrived home the song was still playing so we opened the doors and turned up the volume a bit more and danced around the front yard together. It is one of my fondest memories of her....not just that day of dancing, but the numerous days we would turn up the music and dance around together! I was able to talk to her on the phone the other day and I know she is doing well. This whole experience is part of the letting go. I am experiencing the era of the pure joy of having been a mom to her. I don't feel the deep sadness that has plagued my life for so many months... but I think of our times and I get goosebumps and a sense of joy for the experiences we had together. I think the song title is particularly special....Send Me On My Way.... kind of like my sending her on her way with dancing beat, and not a sorrowful one.

I guess that's the point we have to reach to let people go and heal. After the other emotions of losing a loved one we come to a point where all we can do is be joyful for the special times and think about dancing around for having had the experience at all with that special someone....

So let this song be a tribute to the doodle bug and the joys she brought so many of us!

Also, when we saw our pastor from Tucson in Grand Rapids last Friday we remembered some of her funny stories....like on her last Sunday with us how she ran up to him in the middle of his sermon (she tricked her teacher in the Sunday school room saying she had to go potty) and said to him, "We have cake and ice cream!" as she danced around and giggled and then ran back into her classroom. :)