obey

So lately I have been thinking a lot about order. Not organizational order, but the way I am to order myself under Christ and my husband. Obeying Christ and placing myself under His direction is a very difficult thing because I am so easy to sin and fall away from under Him and go my own direction. So many times I think and act as if I am the one who knows what's best for my life. After all it is my life, isn't it? :)
Submission is a very humbling experience for me. I remember when I wanted to bring Halie home from the shelter sooo badly. And Sue asked, "What does David say? How does he feel about bringing her home?" And I would feel crushed thinking he's never going to want to bring her home. If I don't do this it will never happen! I have had this thought through other phases as well...just thinking if I don't take care of it the way I imagine either God or David will not follow through and I won't get what my heart desires. A little manipulative, I know. Remember the post, ME, the Manipulator...I wasn't kidding. So Sue would really transform my thinking and desires by questioning where David was in the process. She really encouraged me to let him lead our family. Ohhh I would get frustrated! However, I am learning that positioning myself under him knowing that he has positioned himself under the Lord has really benefited us in amazing ways. When I give my husband the space to make choices with the Lord, I am often amazed that if they weren't my desire at the time I always grow into the idea and see it's goodness.
One of the beautiful things about learning to submit to David is that he doesn't usually require it. He gives me the space to choose whether I am going to let him decide or whether I will turn the direction I want to go. This experience is quite similar to that I have the Lord. I know where the Lord is leading me and I can follow Him and be blessed by His plan or I can turn on my stubbornness and go my own direction.... and whether it be God or David I get down my path and realize it wasn't the right one and come crawling back hoping the other path is still available.
It's just really cool how God set up order in families wanting us all to be blessed. And it's really cool to have a husband who leads our family according to the Lord's will. And it would even be greater if I could trust both him and the Lord without question.
So to sum up this post I will list some of the ways when I willingly submitted and God has brought about good things:
-David choose his medical school possibilities and left it between 2 options...even though I REALLY didn't want to move here and was hoping he'd finish at least one other.
-David choose our condo location- he was considering 2 options- and it has turned out to be a wonderful place and will be a safe and beautiful place to begin raising our child.
-David has encouraged me to seek out specific friends and those relationships have really grown
-David told me we would stay in our BS even though I wasn't sure I liked it....some of our best friends have come from that group
-David has reminded me of my desire to have the baby's gender to be a surprise and that receiving gender appropriate gifts is a silly reason to find out the baby's gender. So...it will be "baby" "junior" or "lima bean" until the day the baby's born. And I am so excited!
-David has asked me to read my Bible when I have been unfaithful.
-David has asked me not to wear make up. (This has been a challenging request...but one where God has really taught me a lot- I will post about that at the end of my 40 days!)

Positioning myself under David has been such a blessing! And it's something God requires of me. And it's not easy. But it's obedience.