on medical students

Background information:
So David and his friends have this big test in June... in the medical world it is the first board exam and the score is considered when you are applying for residency programs and it is a REALLY big deal... in the non medical world, it's just a test the medical students take after completing the first two years of schools... basically it's a comprehensive exam of the first two years. When you choose your doctor you wouldn't ask what the scores of your doctor were... you just want them to have passed!

David is taking the exam June 13 and his friends are taking it on June 20... David chose to take it a week earlier so he gets that time free before starting in the hospital in July.

So I ask, "Hey what are we all doing for Memorial Day weekend this year???"
And I get 4 straight faces looking at me like I just asked the stupidest question ever, "Studying." They respond.
Oh yeah, that's right... they have this test.

So basically the other 3 medical students who were with us that day start talking about how their performance on this test determines the type of medicine they can study and what residency program they will get into... David and I sort of challenged that thought because we believe God is Sovereign and will lead you where He wants you to be. (In his heart a man plan his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9, For we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10)
This is something God has been really teaching us. Firstly, in His leading us back to Him a few years ago which we both would NEVER happen.... this alone is an extremely humbling experience.

Obviously everyone knows the biggest thing that points us to a Sovereign Lord was His bringing us to Michigan. David did everything right. He had a perfect GPA, amazing MCAT score, volunteer work, and the right personality. According to the world, he was set for medical school... and we assumed ANY medical school. But God wants us here and so His will was done when Wayne State was the only school David got into.

And so when it comes time to take these exams for residency we know the same is true. David can do amazing in medical school and well on his exams.... or even just pass... and the Lord will lead us where He wants us.

So why is it that our Christian friends who are medical students think they can actually control their fate by getting a good score? Do they really think that their ability to do well or not do well is going to separate them from the will of God for their lives? Or perhaps better thought... it do they really want to control their lives apart from the will of God. "Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is." Ephesians 5:17 It's not that studying and doing well is a bad thing.... it's just that they are sort of stressing out about this exam and I want to be like, "Chill out, hang out with your wife, and believe that God has your best interest at heart." "Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart!"
(In his defense, one of our friends is taking off Sunday which I do have respect for. But I still think he believes he can control his destiny. Which I used to believe too... until I was seriously humbled.)
They even went on to say maybe David didn't have enough extra curricular activities which is why he didn't get in. (He did by the way, he volunteered at the hospital and was a foster parent). But aside from my defending David, my point STILL stands... God wants us here. And it didn't matter that he had "done it all right"

Henri Nouwen writes in one of his books about how we are so shaped by this world that we have to RESHAPE our minds and our lives to live Kingdom lives and not follow the powers of this world. (Romans 12:2) It really is a complete TRANSFORMATION of not following into the belief system and value system of this world.... (I do hope to post more about this on another day).
He writes, "The basic question is whether we ministers of Jesus Christ have not already been so deeply molded by the seductive powers of our dark world that we have become blind to our own and other people's fatal state and have lost the power and motivation to swim for our lives."

It's so frustrating because I know I do this too. I read my Bible and I pray and I am trying to focus my mind on the things above and not on the things of this world.... but I am so tempted. I am so tempted to choose where my life is headed... I want this and that, I want to DO this and that... I want this for my family.... and I don't SEEK HIS FACE FIRST and how we can SERVE Him and love people.

I hate that we are in Michigan and I wish more than anything we could be back with our family and friends in Arizona. I hate that my son's aunts and uncles are not his actual aunts and uncles... but our dear friends here. I wish that I could control it all... it would sure restore hundreds of hours of sleep I lose because I have so much anxiety.

So I guess this post is turning into a confession of sin. A confession of sin for our fellow friends and for me. Once again Satan has enticed us away from our Heavenly Father... He is showing us his delicious apple, while God is offering me His kingdom. The problem is I can see the apple and I have to BELIEVE in the kingdom. Satan wants us to choose our life because it will lead us away from the purposeful work of the Lord.

Anyway, I was just annoyed that they weren't listening to me and still want to "do it all right." And I want them to do it right, I just want them to seek the will of the Lord first. And I want the same for myself.