Middle school was a time I enjoyed... I know, contrary to most people, I really did like it. I did well- loved my teachers and had a lot of friends. I probably had more friends in MS than in HS and college. :) I was still quite naive and wanted to be friends with everyone. I lived in a rural area in Oregon and many of my friend's families were blue collar.... I don't even know what they did for a living... but I do remember many of my friend's parents drinking a lot, having parties often, and many of them used rough language. It didn't matter to me though- many of the parents really liked me and I enjoyed being liked by someone. I think in ms I craved the attention and love. I was eager to be appreciated. Lots of my friends lived in project type housing or their parents were gone a lot.
When it came time to go to HS I had 2 options because I was from a town called Redland and the previous year they had changed our elementary school from k-8 to k-6, bussing us to a middle school...when the elem. school was k-8 the kids went to HS at Gladstone, but when they sent us to the MS the students were sent to Oregon City HS (a HS that was twice as big and had a bad reputation). So because of that you could apply to have your child sent to Gladstone and that is what my parents did. So all my friends went to OCHS and I went to GHS. I was VERY angry at my parents and scared to make new friends again. I had been to 5 elem. schools and so being at a school for 2 years was so great and I wanted to keep my friends. However, my parents didn't want me to continue many of my friendships. I did manage to stay in touch with many of my friends through HS (many of them were guys...) but I lost touch when I went to college. With the ability to find people on FB and Myspace I have caught up with some of them. Myspace is nice because you can set your profile to public and anyone can see it so you don't have to be "friends". So I recently found a few of the myspace pages of old friends and they really haven't done much. None that I have seen so far went to college, many have children out of wedlock, there are pics of them drinking and partying, smoking weed, doin' their thing... And I am realizing my parents were right. They saw something in the innocent 12 year old that I didn't see. Honestly it breaks my heart. Many of these friends were smart and did well in school- or at least were smart, but didn't t do their work. They cared about other people and seemed to enjoy life. Something changed though- maybe it was the influence of their parents and people around them who were making poor choices... who knows. But I did hope that they would choose lives that were more productive and contribute to society. It seems that many are living for themselves.
It was very clear in my home that I would go to college and get a good job. My goal was to do those things and hopefully get married and have some kids. :) I never remember my parents drinking and having outrageous parties. I am so thankful that they set an example for me. And I am thankful that they fought for me do the right thing and learn how to be a better person.
Anyway, I just thought I should give my parents a little credit today.
3 comments:
You are so wise. You are so dear. Now a few added insights from the other side of the memory-equation. As one of four of your parents and one of many adults in your life (that was always an important factor - that you have many adults because it does take a village you know!)I remember the excitement I had to be in your life in a fuller and more signifcant way. You were a teenager! Making decisions for you - on your behalf - was never done without alot of thought and even a bit of prayer. The "bit" of prayer reminds me of just how much you were and are a child of God - and always will be. Yes. I was the mom. Yes. Some days you were one unhappy kid (rarely, really). Good thing God will always be bigger than me or you or any of the other adults in your life because you, my darling, are a blessing. Always have been and always will be. I do, however, thank you for appreciating me! That's nice too.
I really enjoyed reading this post. Thank you for sharing it and Adonica, thanks for raising such a wonderful daughter!
I remember the time well, that was when we were seeing each other more and really connecting. It's funny how you say you were SO mad, I rarely saw that out of you. Probably because Alicia was much more direct when she was angry we didn't notice your anger. You have been a level headed girl with an amazing laugh since the day I met you. Parenting isn't always easy, and we always pray that we are making the right decision. You have had amazing role models and because of that you are doing an amazing job! Enjoy your babies, they grow up way to fast. We love you!
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