a new shift in parenting

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

This Proverb is very confusing to me because I have known people who have turned away from their parent's teaching. I want to believe it, but I have doubts. But I have doubts about a lot of things I read in the Bible- and I think that's normal. I think God is asking me to trust Him and His word in the midst of my doubts. I think that's why we call it faith.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1

So back to that Proverb.

As I raise my boys I am learning that God is asking me to raise them in a certain way. I think what pleases Him are children who respect their parents .
1. Ephesians 6:1-3
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

This is important because as we learn to respect our parents, we learn to respect teachers, elders, etc...
And then as we get older we learn what it means to be obedient to the Lord.

I wonder if that verse that says, "work out your salvation with fear and trembling" (Philippians 2:12) is easier to do when we've learned to be obedient because the idea of reading God's longings with "fear and trembling" is the same idea of obeying our parents. Does that make sense?

Anyway... what I really want to share today is about me. But I wanted to share the foundation- being that I want my children to love the Lord and be obedient to His will for them.


So Bentley has some bad habits forming- he pulls hair... softly touches your hair, 1, 2, 3, and then all the sudden YANK! I have flicked his wrist, and pulled him away from the situation- but it's getting worse, not better.

He also hears me call him, "Bentley! Come here..." And then walk the other way. So I go grab him.

And then there's the glasses- "Bentley, please leave your glasses on..." He looks right at me, pulls them off, throws them on the floor, points and says, "Oooohhhh...."

Oh and then there's his brother- he pulls out his pacifier, pushes him over, pulls his hair, and steals his toys.

There are lots of other situations- but these are my greatest struggles with him.

I have been really trying to discipline him in these areas, but it is NOT working. I am losing control in my home... and he is only TWO! Children don't want to play with him because he pulls their hair.... and it's breaking my heart.

I have been making excuses- he doesn't understand- he will get over this- it's a phase. But months are going by, and it's getting worse.
David's mom came to take care of Bentley and she gave me this really sweet little book she wrote with David when he was 1-2 years old. She wrote what he was doing and the things they did together- it was so fun to read it! Well, in the book there were some things he was disciplined about, namely spanked. And as I was reading his developmental process I was reading about how his parents were teaching him boundaries. And they were strict- way stricter than I am! And I totally felt convicted.... It all clicked. I have been saying Bentley doesn't understand- when I know he DOES understand and allowing him to get away with behavior that is unacceptable. And I realized that my sweet boy is going to need more than the average kid- he needs more time to learn something- more time with me- and more discipline- being reminded over and over again.... he needs me to EXPECT MORE FROM HIM! How can I help shape him into an adult that is respectful, listens well, and understands expectations if I am constantly making excuses for him?

I was sharing these things with my friend Lisa yesterday and she said she's been thinking about these things too for her kids (2 and 4 months)- she said a woman shared with her recently that the realty of discipline is asking yourself, "What kind of home do I want?" Do I want a home where I make different meals because my children won't eat what's served? Do I expect my children to behave in a certain way? Do I teach children how to have they're quiet time? These are things that require us to shape and mold our children into... they don't just figure it out- but they are loved and disciplined into these expectations.

So I encourage all my friends who are mothers- and mothers to be-and mothers they hope to be- to be thinking about these things- and praying over these things.

I ask too that you would be praying for me as I take on this new task of cracking down on some of these poor behaviors.

May we raise a generation of children who are respectful and fear the Lord. :)