4.19.2009
4.18.2009
mom 2 mom sales
They have these specific garage sales in Michigan called Mom 2 Mom sales and they are FABULOUS! There are about 50 a Saturday through the Spring and Summer- depending on your location. They are usually at churches and cost $1 to enter. So moms buy table space and sell their used clothes. Some moms still don't get the whole garage sale concept and try to charge $5 for an outfit. Other moms totally get it and charge $5 a bag.
So today I went to my first one since Bentley was born and it was great. I bought him fall and summer clothes- 29 pieces of clothing for under $20. AMAZING!
So anyway, there is no need to spend a lot of money on clothes when you can get it used.
4.17.2009
Movie Review: Sunshine Cleaning
My friend and future roomie in the hippie commune :), Leigh and I went to see the movie Sunshine Cleaning at the Indie theatre in Royal Oak last night. Bentley had a night watching the Red Wings and playing Settlers with the men! Anyway, so the movie was really good. It's about sisters who are struggling financially so they start a business cleaning up crime scenes and stuff- better known as bodily fluids and blood. Gross! It's about their relationship with each other and the people around them. I really liked it. So if you get a chance, rent it, pop some popcorn and get out the chocolate. You'll enjoy (I hope!)
Here watch the trailer!
4.16.2009
thus far...
went to bad with a stomach ache after too much Mexican food
woke up at 5:50 AM to NO WATER (They had turned it off)
fed Bentley in bed
Got up found enough water in the fridge to make coffee (and leave some for teeth brushing)
read Bible and went to read my devotional- couldn't find it- David had taken it with him
heard Ben wake up- when to get him ready for the day:)
cut Bentley's finger while clipping finger nails this morning
began packing all shower essentials so I could shower at the gym so I wouldn't be sweaty when I went to meet Katherine for lunch...
came back to bedroom to find blood all over- cut bled through bandaids onto floor and all over adorable monkey outfit
held onto cut area for over 20 min while waiting for it to clot
heard water start working again!
David came home to care for baby and sent me off to kickboxing...
on my way I realized I hadn't eaten breakfast and became quite hungry!
arrived 15 minutes late to kickboxing (reason for tardiness: see above)
kickboxing and one mile run
returned home
ate bowl of cereal
changed Bentley into adorable outfit number 2
showered and ready- in a total of 15 minues I did all of the above after arrival home!
got into car and on highway when I realized I took the "wrong" exit to see Katherine (still able to get there- but took longer)
had a GREAT time with Katherine
Found a shortcut home
Put Bentley in bed
ate lunch
posted this blog
Bentley is awake and crying....
off to get baby and hopefully have a less eventful evening!Oh wait, it's only 1:41 PM.
Whew! what a day!
woke up at 5:50 AM to NO WATER (They had turned it off)
fed Bentley in bed
Got up found enough water in the fridge to make coffee (and leave some for teeth brushing)
read Bible and went to read my devotional- couldn't find it- David had taken it with him
heard Ben wake up- when to get him ready for the day:)
cut Bentley's finger while clipping finger nails this morning
began packing all shower essentials so I could shower at the gym so I wouldn't be sweaty when I went to meet Katherine for lunch...
came back to bedroom to find blood all over- cut bled through bandaids onto floor and all over adorable monkey outfit
held onto cut area for over 20 min while waiting for it to clot
heard water start working again!
David came home to care for baby and sent me off to kickboxing...
on my way I realized I hadn't eaten breakfast and became quite hungry!
arrived 15 minutes late to kickboxing (reason for tardiness: see above)
kickboxing and one mile run
returned home
ate bowl of cereal
changed Bentley into adorable outfit number 2
showered and ready- in a total of 15 minues I did all of the above after arrival home!
got into car and on highway when I realized I took the "wrong" exit to see Katherine (still able to get there- but took longer)
had a GREAT time with Katherine
Found a shortcut home
Put Bentley in bed
ate lunch
posted this blog
Bentley is awake and crying....
off to get baby and hopefully have a less eventful evening!Oh wait, it's only 1:41 PM.
Whew! what a day!
4.14.2009
Recipes
We are moving into our hippie commune on May 2! First to move in are Chris, Leigh, David, Me, and Bentley- followed by Micah later in the month and Scott later in the summer.
We are excited.
We also have some needs as we prepare for this time... recipes! I am looking for recipes that are great for large groups of people! On a typical night there will be 6 of us- but often many more will eat in our home...
I really appreciate any and all kinds of recipes- side dishes, main dishes, and just good stuff you want to share with me!
4.12.2009
Egg Hunts
Yesterday we had an Easter egg hunt at the park in our community. It was really fun... and a great opportunity to meet people. I forgot my camera, but Micah let me use his... so there are a variety of photographers (including a young child- you'll know his pics when you see them!) And you'll probably recognize my style too- but if you don't, it's about the 2nd half of the album.
Anyway, click the title to view the pics.
Anyway, click the title to view the pics.
4.08.2009
a modern day jonah pouting outside detroit
So read my previous blog first- I didn't want my post to be too long to scare people away from reading!
There is no doubt in my mind that God has called us to Detroit... and God has made it clear from the beginning. Yet we ran to our Tarshish- Ann Arbor- and while running we ended up in the belly of a big fish. Jonah was in the fish for 3 days- we were in the fish for 18 months. And it took the same kind of repenting and calling out to God to follow the Lord to Detroit. So here we are. And we're happy here. And God is working here. Yet, like Jonah, I run outside the city, sit on my rock and pout. "Why have you brought us here, Lord? Why didn't you want to use us in Tucson? I am begging for the comfort of friends and family." And I know God is conversing with me- I am not turning my back on him- just sulking about my current state.
So God provides a vine from me to comfort me from the sun- this translates to the YMCA, friendships, a wonderful place to live, etc... and the worm comes to eat it all away- although these things haven't gone anywhere, sometimes in my sulking I don't enjoy the good things God has provided me with... so the worm may as well come along and eaten them away.... at least then maybe I would recognize God's greatness even more.
So there it is... my sin out there in the open. I am still rejecting God's calling...
A Week Later....
I have been saving this post for awhile- first I wanted to edit it, but that will just take too long... so I am going to post as is.... but I want to add a few things.
1. Our time in Ann Arbor was not a waste. We learned a lot about generosity, how to be a servant, and many other things. We also developed some (hopefully) life long friendships with wonderful people.
2. I am praying more diligently to get excited about living in Detroit. I LOVE our new church and new community- and now that Spring has arrived- my spirits are lifted more and more.
There is no doubt in my mind that God has called us to Detroit... and God has made it clear from the beginning. Yet we ran to our Tarshish- Ann Arbor- and while running we ended up in the belly of a big fish. Jonah was in the fish for 3 days- we were in the fish for 18 months. And it took the same kind of repenting and calling out to God to follow the Lord to Detroit. So here we are. And we're happy here. And God is working here. Yet, like Jonah, I run outside the city, sit on my rock and pout. "Why have you brought us here, Lord? Why didn't you want to use us in Tucson? I am begging for the comfort of friends and family." And I know God is conversing with me- I am not turning my back on him- just sulking about my current state.
So God provides a vine from me to comfort me from the sun- this translates to the YMCA, friendships, a wonderful place to live, etc... and the worm comes to eat it all away- although these things haven't gone anywhere, sometimes in my sulking I don't enjoy the good things God has provided me with... so the worm may as well come along and eaten them away.... at least then maybe I would recognize God's greatness even more.
So there it is... my sin out there in the open. I am still rejecting God's calling...
A Week Later....
I have been saving this post for awhile- first I wanted to edit it, but that will just take too long... so I am going to post as is.... but I want to add a few things.
1. Our time in Ann Arbor was not a waste. We learned a lot about generosity, how to be a servant, and many other things. We also developed some (hopefully) life long friendships with wonderful people.
2. I am praying more diligently to get excited about living in Detroit. I LOVE our new church and new community- and now that Spring has arrived- my spirits are lifted more and more.
Jonah
The book of Jonah is nestled in towards the end of the Old Testament. It's easy to miss- in my 1,334 page you'll find the book of Jonah on pages 916,917. The story of Jonah is a popular one. Follow the Lord, or you might end up in the belly of a big fish. I think even Disneyland has a ride that takes you into the mouth of a fish, doesn't it?!? David and I have spent time talking about our experience in Ann Arbor as our running from God to avoid where God had called us: Detroit.... but this small tale has had more impact in my life than I imagined. So first I am going to summarize the book of Jonah before I babble on with my experience.
So God calls Jonah to Nineveh, but he ran from the Lord to Tarshish and went to Joppa and goes on a ship. While on the ship massive storms come and the other people on the ship are scared and know Jonah is running from God (he told them). The storm gets worse and worse and the only way to make it calm is to throw Jonah overboard--- so over he goes and God saves him by putting him in the belly of a fish... then Jonah calls on the Lord and rededicates himself as a servant of God. So God commands the fish to vomit out on dry land. (There's a sketch for you, Sue!) Off Jonah goes to Nineveh proclaiming that the city is going to get overturned because of what they're doing... well eventually they turn back to God and He spares the city. The End. Nope... that's where I thought it ended, until I read with more care yesterday. Ch. 4 JONAH'S ANGER AT THE LORD'S COMPASSION
There's a title for you. How can he possibly be angry at the Lord's compassion? ?
So Jonah leaves the city and is outside pouting about God's compassion- how he is slow to anger and abounding in love. So he's out pouting in the sun so God provides a vine to shade him from discomfort and Jonahs was happy about the vine. The next day God provides a worm to eat the vine so it dies away leaving Jonah exposed to the heat of the sun. So the last verses in the book are, 10 But the LORD said, "You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. 11 But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?" I think God is talking about the number of people (perhaps children) in the city who are in need of a moral compass. Anyway... you can write your thoughts about that interpretation in comments if you want.
Ok now read the other post.
So God calls Jonah to Nineveh, but he ran from the Lord to Tarshish and went to Joppa and goes on a ship. While on the ship massive storms come and the other people on the ship are scared and know Jonah is running from God (he told them). The storm gets worse and worse and the only way to make it calm is to throw Jonah overboard--- so over he goes and God saves him by putting him in the belly of a fish... then Jonah calls on the Lord and rededicates himself as a servant of God. So God commands the fish to vomit out on dry land. (There's a sketch for you, Sue!) Off Jonah goes to Nineveh proclaiming that the city is going to get overturned because of what they're doing... well eventually they turn back to God and He spares the city. The End. Nope... that's where I thought it ended, until I read with more care yesterday. Ch. 4 JONAH'S ANGER AT THE LORD'S COMPASSION
There's a title for you. How can he possibly be angry at the Lord's compassion? ?
So Jonah leaves the city and is outside pouting about God's compassion- how he is slow to anger and abounding in love. So he's out pouting in the sun so God provides a vine to shade him from discomfort and Jonahs was happy about the vine. The next day God provides a worm to eat the vine so it dies away leaving Jonah exposed to the heat of the sun. So the last verses in the book are, 10 But the LORD said, "You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. 11 But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?" I think God is talking about the number of people (perhaps children) in the city who are in need of a moral compass. Anyway... you can write your thoughts about that interpretation in comments if you want.
Ok now read the other post.
4.05.2009
Movie Review: Slumdog Millionaire
So everyone has been telling me how I should see this movie, and it arrived on Netflix yesterday. So Scott, David, and I watched it this afternoon. I just finished A Fine Balance for the 2nd time and it is all about India (an incredible read by the way... thanks Jane!) So anyway about the movie... it is really good! I love the cinematography... especially the opening scene. The stories in the beginning are all along the same lines as the stories in A Fine Balance... further revealing the painful truth about India.
So I definitely recommend the movie. The whole find your love and win a million bucks isn't my favorite, but showing the truth about life there is really intense and worth experiencing.
So Steven... I think you should see it... oh and Jane too... since the two of you are all anti Slumdog!
4.01.2009
peace
I found our seat on the plane yesterday. I hate planes. They are loud, crowded, and the turbulence scares me.
Bentley sat on my lap, toys in hand as he waved his arms up and down making the bells jingle and smiling with his success. He turned to look at me and give me a large grin as if to say, "Hey! You're there and because you're there and I am safe I am going to keep playing here!" When the plane begins to ascend in the air I give him his bottle and he drinks away, looking up with his large eyes and smiling between gulps. He falls asleep. There was a lot of turbulence around Atlanta. As I began to tense up and fear, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and wisdom. My child rests in my arms in total confidence that I am going to take care of his every need. He need not fear because I am holding him, providing for him, protecting him... and God was trying to show my that I should have the same sense of peace and trust. So I sat back and studied the behavior of my son... his peace... and imagined myself wrapped up in God's loving arms... taking care of my every need, offering me His ultimate peace... and suddenly I felt safe... and because I felt safe and full of peace, I nodded off to sleep.
Bentley sat on my lap, toys in hand as he waved his arms up and down making the bells jingle and smiling with his success. He turned to look at me and give me a large grin as if to say, "Hey! You're there and because you're there and I am safe I am going to keep playing here!" When the plane begins to ascend in the air I give him his bottle and he drinks away, looking up with his large eyes and smiling between gulps. He falls asleep. There was a lot of turbulence around Atlanta. As I began to tense up and fear, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and wisdom. My child rests in my arms in total confidence that I am going to take care of his every need. He need not fear because I am holding him, providing for him, protecting him... and God was trying to show my that I should have the same sense of peace and trust. So I sat back and studied the behavior of my son... his peace... and imagined myself wrapped up in God's loving arms... taking care of my every need, offering me His ultimate peace... and suddenly I felt safe... and because I felt safe and full of peace, I nodded off to sleep.
3.23.2009
do people really want this?
So I was reading my friend's sketch blog... which is amazing by the way... and she had drawn her daughter using the technique from another artist... so I googled the artist to see what Sue's painting was created after and I found this painting and article:
The Best Places to Live
Illustration by Alanna Cavanaugh
The Classic Suburbanite
Barrington
It’s been called Borington, and that’s just fine with the residents of this perfect little suburb. This is the best place to live if you’re into the Scott’s five-step lawn fertilizer program, weekend barbecues and teaching your 2.4 children how to ride their bike on a freshly paved street. Crime is low, 100 percent of the schools are considered high performing and the kids have an academic home advantage: nearly 80 percent of Barrington moms have at least a bachelor’s degree, the highest in the state. What would the suburbs be without services and stores to cater to Ward and June Cleaver? Modeled after the village centers of New York’s Westchester County, Barrington’s downtown has a faux brick median running between the two traffic lanes and street lamps adorned with overflowing flower baskets installed and maintained by the local garden club. There are high-end women’s chain stores, quaint boutiques and a friendly bookstore. The sign of a desirable town is the reaction you get when people discover you live there. You know you’re in one when someone says, “Oh, you’re in Baaaaaarrington.”
And when I was done reading this section I just was wondering if this is something people really want. :)
The Best Places to Live
Illustration by Alanna Cavanaugh
The Classic Suburbanite
Barrington
It’s been called Borington, and that’s just fine with the residents of this perfect little suburb. This is the best place to live if you’re into the Scott’s five-step lawn fertilizer program, weekend barbecues and teaching your 2.4 children how to ride their bike on a freshly paved street. Crime is low, 100 percent of the schools are considered high performing and the kids have an academic home advantage: nearly 80 percent of Barrington moms have at least a bachelor’s degree, the highest in the state. What would the suburbs be without services and stores to cater to Ward and June Cleaver? Modeled after the village centers of New York’s Westchester County, Barrington’s downtown has a faux brick median running between the two traffic lanes and street lamps adorned with overflowing flower baskets installed and maintained by the local garden club. There are high-end women’s chain stores, quaint boutiques and a friendly bookstore. The sign of a desirable town is the reaction you get when people discover you live there. You know you’re in one when someone says, “Oh, you’re in Baaaaaarrington.”
And when I was done reading this section I just was wondering if this is something people really want. :)
3.22.2009
FLORIDA!
So for all you who read my blog, and not David's (very few I know :) David left for Honduras yesterday. You can read more about his trip on his blog (www.bentley81.blogspot.com). I always think I am going to be fine without him... I encourage his adventures (even though it really is very difficult that he is going to the places I have always wanted to go without me)... and I look forward to his stories, but it is very hard to be apart. So as you're reading this pray that the peace of Jesus will rest upon me and that I won't fear for his safety and that I will be encouraging to him.
Since he's gone in Honduras, and I vowed last year to get out of Michigan during the gloom, I found a really cheap ticket awhile ago to go see my Papa in Tampa with my mom. Also, my aunt and her 3 children will be joining us at the end of our trip. Oh and my Papa's brother and wife will be there for a BBQ next Saturday. Unfortunately I see my family very little... and this is my only living grandparent ...so it's a big deal for me to be seeing all these people who I only get to spend time with every few years... I am looking forward to the warmth of the sun, the coolness of the ocean, and the love of family.
So there's an update of what I'll be doing!
Here are some pictures from 3 years ago at my Papa's 70th birthday. My dad flew in as a total surprise! My dad was very close with my mom's family, and he hadn't seen my papa for many years, so it was a lot of fun!
My dad, Papa, and Kate (his 2nd wife)
Me and my mom :)
The cousins... minus Michael.... Meg, me, Meredith, Meranda, and Mackenzie.... yep they all have "M's" but me!
Aunt Charlotte and me
Anyway, I am looking forward to this vacation!
Since he's gone in Honduras, and I vowed last year to get out of Michigan during the gloom, I found a really cheap ticket awhile ago to go see my Papa in Tampa with my mom. Also, my aunt and her 3 children will be joining us at the end of our trip. Oh and my Papa's brother and wife will be there for a BBQ next Saturday. Unfortunately I see my family very little... and this is my only living grandparent ...so it's a big deal for me to be seeing all these people who I only get to spend time with every few years... I am looking forward to the warmth of the sun, the coolness of the ocean, and the love of family.
So there's an update of what I'll be doing!
Here are some pictures from 3 years ago at my Papa's 70th birthday. My dad flew in as a total surprise! My dad was very close with my mom's family, and he hadn't seen my papa for many years, so it was a lot of fun!
My dad, Papa, and Kate (his 2nd wife)
Me and my mom :)
The cousins... minus Michael.... Meg, me, Meredith, Meranda, and Mackenzie.... yep they all have "M's" but me!
Aunt Charlotte and me
Anyway, I am looking forward to this vacation!
3.15.2009
ignorance
So I was telling a friend about how therapy was going well for Bentley and we probably will have him set up in Detroit in the near future, and I turned to a guy I've never met, who isn't from Detroit, and informed him Bentley has Down syndrome- so he'd know what I was talking about. So I continue my story to my friend. At the end this guy (who I don't know) says, "We had a family a in our church who has a child with Down syndrome and they changed his diet, and of course we prayed and he doesn't have Down syndrome anymore!" We were walking out the front door anyway, so I smiled and said, "Really?" and left.
1. It is not out of God's capability to change the genetics of my child, but why would He want to?
2. Seriously? (as in, I know you have no idea what Down syndrome actually is)
I got a glimpse into the world of people who share their stories and then are informed by people (with good intentions) of another person in a similar situation who was cured... or whatever. And let me give you advice.... it isn't helpful. So the next time you meet a person who can't have a baby, or is in a wheelchair, or has cancer, or has a child with autism, or a kid with Down syndrome :) don't tell them about your friend who had the same thing and was cured. Just listen with an attentive ear and offer your prayer to God silently.
The whole thing is sort of funny and annoying all at the same time!
1. It is not out of God's capability to change the genetics of my child, but why would He want to?
2. Seriously? (as in, I know you have no idea what Down syndrome actually is)
I got a glimpse into the world of people who share their stories and then are informed by people (with good intentions) of another person in a similar situation who was cured... or whatever. And let me give you advice.... it isn't helpful. So the next time you meet a person who can't have a baby, or is in a wheelchair, or has cancer, or has a child with autism, or a kid with Down syndrome :) don't tell them about your friend who had the same thing and was cured. Just listen with an attentive ear and offer your prayer to God silently.
The whole thing is sort of funny and annoying all at the same time!
3.13.2009
time magazine pics
Our friend Micah emailed us this link today... the photos are exactly as Sue described in on of her comments on my post last week http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1882089_1850973,00.html
3.09.2009
post 201! :))
This is an interesting article about Detroit! Just so you know, the $700,00+ house they are talking about is the infamous "castle house" I have been watching for 7 months! You can rent it for $3500/month. Apparently it's a maintenance nightmare! Anyway, there is NO WAY it will sell for that much money. Houses in that neighborhood don't sell for more than $150,000.... even the sweet ones! Our friends bought a house for $100 and at closing paid $2000. :) CRAZY!
(Click the title!)
(Click the title!)
3.07.2009
3.06.2009
3.05.2009
on medical students
Background information:
So David and his friends have this big test in June... in the medical world it is the first board exam and the score is considered when you are applying for residency programs and it is a REALLY big deal... in the non medical world, it's just a test the medical students take after completing the first two years of schools... basically it's a comprehensive exam of the first two years. When you choose your doctor you wouldn't ask what the scores of your doctor were... you just want them to have passed!
David is taking the exam June 13 and his friends are taking it on June 20... David chose to take it a week earlier so he gets that time free before starting in the hospital in July.
So I ask, "Hey what are we all doing for Memorial Day weekend this year???"
And I get 4 straight faces looking at me like I just asked the stupidest question ever, "Studying." They respond.
Oh yeah, that's right... they have this test.
So basically the other 3 medical students who were with us that day start talking about how their performance on this test determines the type of medicine they can study and what residency program they will get into... David and I sort of challenged that thought because we believe God is Sovereign and will lead you where He wants you to be. (In his heart a man plan his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9, For we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10)
This is something God has been really teaching us. Firstly, in His leading us back to Him a few years ago which we both would NEVER happen.... this alone is an extremely humbling experience.
Obviously everyone knows the biggest thing that points us to a Sovereign Lord was His bringing us to Michigan. David did everything right. He had a perfect GPA, amazing MCAT score, volunteer work, and the right personality. According to the world, he was set for medical school... and we assumed ANY medical school. But God wants us here and so His will was done when Wayne State was the only school David got into.
And so when it comes time to take these exams for residency we know the same is true. David can do amazing in medical school and well on his exams.... or even just pass... and the Lord will lead us where He wants us.
So why is it that our Christian friends who are medical students think they can actually control their fate by getting a good score? Do they really think that their ability to do well or not do well is going to separate them from the will of God for their lives? Or perhaps better thought... it do they really want to control their lives apart from the will of God. "Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is." Ephesians 5:17 It's not that studying and doing well is a bad thing.... it's just that they are sort of stressing out about this exam and I want to be like, "Chill out, hang out with your wife, and believe that God has your best interest at heart." "Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart!"
(In his defense, one of our friends is taking off Sunday which I do have respect for. But I still think he believes he can control his destiny. Which I used to believe too... until I was seriously humbled.)
They even went on to say maybe David didn't have enough extra curricular activities which is why he didn't get in. (He did by the way, he volunteered at the hospital and was a foster parent). But aside from my defending David, my point STILL stands... God wants us here. And it didn't matter that he had "done it all right"
Henri Nouwen writes in one of his books about how we are so shaped by this world that we have to RESHAPE our minds and our lives to live Kingdom lives and not follow the powers of this world. (Romans 12:2) It really is a complete TRANSFORMATION of not following into the belief system and value system of this world.... (I do hope to post more about this on another day).
He writes, "The basic question is whether we ministers of Jesus Christ have not already been so deeply molded by the seductive powers of our dark world that we have become blind to our own and other people's fatal state and have lost the power and motivation to swim for our lives."
It's so frustrating because I know I do this too. I read my Bible and I pray and I am trying to focus my mind on the things above and not on the things of this world.... but I am so tempted. I am so tempted to choose where my life is headed... I want this and that, I want to DO this and that... I want this for my family.... and I don't SEEK HIS FACE FIRST and how we can SERVE Him and love people.
I hate that we are in Michigan and I wish more than anything we could be back with our family and friends in Arizona. I hate that my son's aunts and uncles are not his actual aunts and uncles... but our dear friends here. I wish that I could control it all... it would sure restore hundreds of hours of sleep I lose because I have so much anxiety.
So I guess this post is turning into a confession of sin. A confession of sin for our fellow friends and for me. Once again Satan has enticed us away from our Heavenly Father... He is showing us his delicious apple, while God is offering me His kingdom. The problem is I can see the apple and I have to BELIEVE in the kingdom. Satan wants us to choose our life because it will lead us away from the purposeful work of the Lord.
Anyway, I was just annoyed that they weren't listening to me and still want to "do it all right." And I want them to do it right, I just want them to seek the will of the Lord first. And I want the same for myself.
So David and his friends have this big test in June... in the medical world it is the first board exam and the score is considered when you are applying for residency programs and it is a REALLY big deal... in the non medical world, it's just a test the medical students take after completing the first two years of schools... basically it's a comprehensive exam of the first two years. When you choose your doctor you wouldn't ask what the scores of your doctor were... you just want them to have passed!
David is taking the exam June 13 and his friends are taking it on June 20... David chose to take it a week earlier so he gets that time free before starting in the hospital in July.
So I ask, "Hey what are we all doing for Memorial Day weekend this year???"
And I get 4 straight faces looking at me like I just asked the stupidest question ever, "Studying." They respond.
Oh yeah, that's right... they have this test.
So basically the other 3 medical students who were with us that day start talking about how their performance on this test determines the type of medicine they can study and what residency program they will get into... David and I sort of challenged that thought because we believe God is Sovereign and will lead you where He wants you to be. (In his heart a man plan his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9, For we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10)
This is something God has been really teaching us. Firstly, in His leading us back to Him a few years ago which we both would NEVER happen.... this alone is an extremely humbling experience.
Obviously everyone knows the biggest thing that points us to a Sovereign Lord was His bringing us to Michigan. David did everything right. He had a perfect GPA, amazing MCAT score, volunteer work, and the right personality. According to the world, he was set for medical school... and we assumed ANY medical school. But God wants us here and so His will was done when Wayne State was the only school David got into.
And so when it comes time to take these exams for residency we know the same is true. David can do amazing in medical school and well on his exams.... or even just pass... and the Lord will lead us where He wants us.
So why is it that our Christian friends who are medical students think they can actually control their fate by getting a good score? Do they really think that their ability to do well or not do well is going to separate them from the will of God for their lives? Or perhaps better thought... it do they really want to control their lives apart from the will of God. "Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is." Ephesians 5:17 It's not that studying and doing well is a bad thing.... it's just that they are sort of stressing out about this exam and I want to be like, "Chill out, hang out with your wife, and believe that God has your best interest at heart." "Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart!"
(In his defense, one of our friends is taking off Sunday which I do have respect for. But I still think he believes he can control his destiny. Which I used to believe too... until I was seriously humbled.)
They even went on to say maybe David didn't have enough extra curricular activities which is why he didn't get in. (He did by the way, he volunteered at the hospital and was a foster parent). But aside from my defending David, my point STILL stands... God wants us here. And it didn't matter that he had "done it all right"
Henri Nouwen writes in one of his books about how we are so shaped by this world that we have to RESHAPE our minds and our lives to live Kingdom lives and not follow the powers of this world. (Romans 12:2) It really is a complete TRANSFORMATION of not following into the belief system and value system of this world.... (I do hope to post more about this on another day).
He writes, "The basic question is whether we ministers of Jesus Christ have not already been so deeply molded by the seductive powers of our dark world that we have become blind to our own and other people's fatal state and have lost the power and motivation to swim for our lives."
It's so frustrating because I know I do this too. I read my Bible and I pray and I am trying to focus my mind on the things above and not on the things of this world.... but I am so tempted. I am so tempted to choose where my life is headed... I want this and that, I want to DO this and that... I want this for my family.... and I don't SEEK HIS FACE FIRST and how we can SERVE Him and love people.
I hate that we are in Michigan and I wish more than anything we could be back with our family and friends in Arizona. I hate that my son's aunts and uncles are not his actual aunts and uncles... but our dear friends here. I wish that I could control it all... it would sure restore hundreds of hours of sleep I lose because I have so much anxiety.
So I guess this post is turning into a confession of sin. A confession of sin for our fellow friends and for me. Once again Satan has enticed us away from our Heavenly Father... He is showing us his delicious apple, while God is offering me His kingdom. The problem is I can see the apple and I have to BELIEVE in the kingdom. Satan wants us to choose our life because it will lead us away from the purposeful work of the Lord.
Anyway, I was just annoyed that they weren't listening to me and still want to "do it all right." And I want them to do it right, I just want them to seek the will of the Lord first. And I want the same for myself.
3.03.2009
Pictures of Detroit
So here are the pics I took in Detroit on Saturday... I am still going to do a set in the neighborhood we are moving into! The first two pics on this video are the apartment building we live in now. I tried to show pics of the broken buildings, as well as, some of the ones that are in use. Although, just because they are boarded up doesn't mean they aren't in use... you know what I mean! Towards the end is a series of pics on the train station that is downtown. It obviously is no longer in use. Here's the history on it: (I think you will find it quite fascinating)
Opened in 1913, the building is of the Beaux-Arts Classical style of architecture, designed by the Warren & Wetmore and Reed and Stem firms who also designed New York City's Grand Central Terminal.[2] The price tag for this 500,000-square-foot (46,000 m2) building was $15 million when it was built.
The building is composed of two distinct parts: the train station itself and the tower which rises 18 stories. The roof height is 230 feet (70 m). Speculation as to what the tower was originally designed for include a hotel, offices for the rail company, or a combination of both. In reality, the tower was only used for office space by the Michigan Central Railroad and subsequent owners of the building. The interiors of at least the top floor had never been completed and served no function.
The main waiting room on the main floor was modeled after an ancient Roman bathhouse with walls of marble. The building also housed a large hall adorned with Doric columns and contained the ticket office and arcade shops. Beyond the arcade was the concourse, which had brick walls and a large copper skylight. From here, passengers would walk down a ramp to the departing train platforms, 11 tracks in all. Below the tracks and building is a large area for baggage, mail, and other office building functions.
The building has since been stripped of most valuable items including brass fixtures. It has also been the victim of extensive vandalism.
So enjoy this video. Oh and DO NOT put it in to full screen, you will lose the quality of the photos... which are important to me!!!!
Opened in 1913, the building is of the Beaux-Arts Classical style of architecture, designed by the Warren & Wetmore and Reed and Stem firms who also designed New York City's Grand Central Terminal.[2] The price tag for this 500,000-square-foot (46,000 m2) building was $15 million when it was built.
The building is composed of two distinct parts: the train station itself and the tower which rises 18 stories. The roof height is 230 feet (70 m). Speculation as to what the tower was originally designed for include a hotel, offices for the rail company, or a combination of both. In reality, the tower was only used for office space by the Michigan Central Railroad and subsequent owners of the building. The interiors of at least the top floor had never been completed and served no function.
The main waiting room on the main floor was modeled after an ancient Roman bathhouse with walls of marble. The building also housed a large hall adorned with Doric columns and contained the ticket office and arcade shops. Beyond the arcade was the concourse, which had brick walls and a large copper skylight. From here, passengers would walk down a ramp to the departing train platforms, 11 tracks in all. Below the tracks and building is a large area for baggage, mail, and other office building functions.
The building has since been stripped of most valuable items including brass fixtures. It has also been the victim of extensive vandalism.
So enjoy this video. Oh and DO NOT put it in to full screen, you will lose the quality of the photos... which are important to me!!!!
3.01.2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HALIE!
Yep, today is her 7th birthday. Pray for her today. :) Pray that she'll know Christ as her Savior and Daddy who will never leave her or forsake her... and is the only One who can fill the empty spaces and pain she is going to face. And praise God that He has brought me to a place where I can rejoice in her birthday and not be sad that she isn't with us. Enjoy being reminded of her laughter and love!
2.23.2009
Friends I love. :)
Not in order.... Eric, Sue, Ashton, Elliott, David, Adrienne, and Bentley
I forgot to post these pictures after Christmas... so they're a little late.... but better late than never!!
2.22.2009
Dear Todd
Our roommate gave me this poem to read.... not sure what his diagnosis was... but it's a touching poem, anyway...
Dear Todd
I wanted you to be born healthy and strong
But you should me God's strength was perfected in your weakness
I wanted to teach you to eat and drink
But you showed me my need to feast on God's word
I wanted you to see my face and respond
But you taught me to seek Jesus' face and trust
I wanted to teach you to hold things in your hand
But you taught me to loosen my grip on the things of this world
I wanted you to learn how to speak
But you showed me how to pray
I wanted to teach you to stand
But you taught me to walk with God
I wanted you to sing in the children's choir
But you taught me to praise God in times of despair
I wanted you to learn to be quiet in public places
But you taught me humility instead
I wanted you to learn about this world
But I learned this world couldn't even recognize your worth
How can a student be so hard to teach?
How can one be so slow to understand?
God made you teacher, didn't he, Todd?
Yes, you were the teacher not I.
(The Molendyks were advised to abort Todd, but they felt God had a purpose in sending him to their family. This poem was written the night after his death.)
Dear Todd
I wanted you to be born healthy and strong
But you should me God's strength was perfected in your weakness
I wanted to teach you to eat and drink
But you showed me my need to feast on God's word
I wanted you to see my face and respond
But you taught me to seek Jesus' face and trust
I wanted to teach you to hold things in your hand
But you taught me to loosen my grip on the things of this world
I wanted you to learn how to speak
But you showed me how to pray
I wanted to teach you to stand
But you taught me to walk with God
I wanted you to sing in the children's choir
But you taught me to praise God in times of despair
I wanted you to learn to be quiet in public places
But you taught me humility instead
I wanted you to learn about this world
But I learned this world couldn't even recognize your worth
How can a student be so hard to teach?
How can one be so slow to understand?
God made you teacher, didn't he, Todd?
Yes, you were the teacher not I.
(The Molendyks were advised to abort Todd, but they felt God had a purpose in sending him to their family. This poem was written the night after his death.)
2.19.2009
Charles H. Wrigh Museum of African American History
Bentley and I went to the African American History in Detroit today... it's only about 5 minutes from our home. The museum is quite well done. (Although I am not a connosseiur of museums).
The history of African Americans is a very difficult one to "experience." Firstly, I get that I will never get it. And although I was at a museum experiencing the rooms and reading about the history I get that it's something I won't understand the same as an African American.
The museum has a part where you go through what would've been the bottom of a slave ship and there are slaves tied together and they're crying out. And the documents talk about how you could smell a slave ship from extreme distances.... and once a slave ship, always a slave ship because of the filth and smells. Then they land in the US and there's this young woman holding her baby and the people are asking, "Does the baby come with the mother?" "Well, I am not sure.... let's see what it says... Yes, the baby comes with the mother. Let's start the bidding.... 15 pounds for the mother and baby. She'll make a great asset to your home..."
And the museum continues with the history... which I guess I don't need to explain because we all learned it in school.... but I will say a museum has a way of making you deal with the pain of our history. And I can't imagine holding my Bentley all alone in a country where I am the only white girl, listening to a language I don't understand, wearing clothes I have never seen before.... as I am auctioned off to a family... and the separation from my son that lies in the future is too much to imagine.
So not only am I going through this museum in Detroit.... where I am usually the only white person... in the grocery store, at the YMCA, driving down the street, etc...
But I am the only white girl in a museum dedicated to helping African Americans remember where they came from... a history full of pain and separation from everything they knew and or loved... And so here I am reading and watching the videos and walking down "the street" in this museum feeling so much pain for these people.... and when the African Americans are walking by me or watching the same video of MLK Jr giving a speech I want to apologize.... and obviously it's much too late and I don't personally have a reason to be sorry.... but I am.
It's a very difficult experience. Especially as someone with the gift of mercy... I want to experience your pain with you.... and I know this is a pain that I can't really experience because my ancestors were the reason for your pain.
The beauty of it all is that Christ has come and restored the pain....a concept I have a very very difficult time wrapping my brain around. He's already restored the tension between black and whites and it's up to us to live into that truth and to embrace one another as brothers and sisters in Christ.
Obviously a big part of us living in Detroit is to walk into that truth and to love people here.... but in order to fully love them it was important for me to be reminded of their very difficult and painful history.
And so I experienced it. And I would love to take anyone who visits us through the museum. And I will pray for the restoration of this city... and that the hatred and pain would be killed with love and understanding. And that unity would reign.
The history of African Americans is a very difficult one to "experience." Firstly, I get that I will never get it. And although I was at a museum experiencing the rooms and reading about the history I get that it's something I won't understand the same as an African American.
The museum has a part where you go through what would've been the bottom of a slave ship and there are slaves tied together and they're crying out. And the documents talk about how you could smell a slave ship from extreme distances.... and once a slave ship, always a slave ship because of the filth and smells. Then they land in the US and there's this young woman holding her baby and the people are asking, "Does the baby come with the mother?" "Well, I am not sure.... let's see what it says... Yes, the baby comes with the mother. Let's start the bidding.... 15 pounds for the mother and baby. She'll make a great asset to your home..."
And the museum continues with the history... which I guess I don't need to explain because we all learned it in school.... but I will say a museum has a way of making you deal with the pain of our history. And I can't imagine holding my Bentley all alone in a country where I am the only white girl, listening to a language I don't understand, wearing clothes I have never seen before.... as I am auctioned off to a family... and the separation from my son that lies in the future is too much to imagine.
So not only am I going through this museum in Detroit.... where I am usually the only white person... in the grocery store, at the YMCA, driving down the street, etc...
But I am the only white girl in a museum dedicated to helping African Americans remember where they came from... a history full of pain and separation from everything they knew and or loved... And so here I am reading and watching the videos and walking down "the street" in this museum feeling so much pain for these people.... and when the African Americans are walking by me or watching the same video of MLK Jr giving a speech I want to apologize.... and obviously it's much too late and I don't personally have a reason to be sorry.... but I am.
It's a very difficult experience. Especially as someone with the gift of mercy... I want to experience your pain with you.... and I know this is a pain that I can't really experience because my ancestors were the reason for your pain.
The beauty of it all is that Christ has come and restored the pain....a concept I have a very very difficult time wrapping my brain around. He's already restored the tension between black and whites and it's up to us to live into that truth and to embrace one another as brothers and sisters in Christ.
Obviously a big part of us living in Detroit is to walk into that truth and to love people here.... but in order to fully love them it was important for me to be reminded of their very difficult and painful history.
And so I experienced it. And I would love to take anyone who visits us through the museum. And I will pray for the restoration of this city... and that the hatred and pain would be killed with love and understanding. And that unity would reign.
2.16.2009
2.06.2009
Reece's Rainbow
So everyone once in awhile I check on this forum that is for families with DS children....hence the recent posts with DS children! Anyway, this video is cool, but it's in Spanish....which I like, but all you non speakers won't get it! So Reece's Rainbow is an organization that is helping to adopt out children from other countries who have DS. It also raises money to help families who want to adopt but can't afford it. They bring awareness and help the orphanages too....also many kiddos with DS have medical issues and the money helps to pay for their necessary procedures, etc...
I especially like the end of the video because it plays pictures of children. So if you get bored, go to like the last 90 sec.
BTW... Bentley is doing great! He's sitting up now. He'll stay up for 5-10 minutes playing. He's also rolling from front to back on both sides. He's still working on back to front. He's eating solid foods... and when his daddy gets home he cracks up for the evening.
He has therapy today, his first day in the classroom with other children! SO EXCITING! I think he was anticipating it because he woke at 1 AM, 3-5 AM and then got up around 6 and hasn't gone back to sleep yet (it's 9 AM) I am hoping he sleeps for a couple hours before therapy at 12:15 so he's refreshed and ready to participate! Luckily for me they have this great medicine for exhausted moms called.... COFFEE! So thankful for this invention and delicious treat!
Things are going really well in Detroit. I take kickboxing 2 times a week and do other various workouts about 3-4 other days...including climbing the 42' climbing wall! So great. We're making friends. Just made one yesterday... a mom who home schools her 3 AMAZING sons! They live next door to the Y downtown in a sweet loft, so that's fun. Also working on some other friendships. I feel at home here. We both wonder why didn't move here sooner.
Anyway, I better get moving! Enjoy the video:
I especially like the end of the video because it plays pictures of children. So if you get bored, go to like the last 90 sec.
BTW... Bentley is doing great! He's sitting up now. He'll stay up for 5-10 minutes playing. He's also rolling from front to back on both sides. He's still working on back to front. He's eating solid foods... and when his daddy gets home he cracks up for the evening.
He has therapy today, his first day in the classroom with other children! SO EXCITING! I think he was anticipating it because he woke at 1 AM, 3-5 AM and then got up around 6 and hasn't gone back to sleep yet (it's 9 AM) I am hoping he sleeps for a couple hours before therapy at 12:15 so he's refreshed and ready to participate! Luckily for me they have this great medicine for exhausted moms called.... COFFEE! So thankful for this invention and delicious treat!
Things are going really well in Detroit. I take kickboxing 2 times a week and do other various workouts about 3-4 other days...including climbing the 42' climbing wall! So great. We're making friends. Just made one yesterday... a mom who home schools her 3 AMAZING sons! They live next door to the Y downtown in a sweet loft, so that's fun. Also working on some other friendships. I feel at home here. We both wonder why didn't move here sooner.
Anyway, I better get moving! Enjoy the video:
2.05.2009
2.01.2009
1.28.2009
Life in the city with groceries!
Bentley and I went grocery shopping and to the gym after dropping David off at the hospital yesterday. So far I just do the things I need to do without worrying how I will get all the stuff into the apt. I think yesterday I finally figured out something that works! They have these carts you can use and one of them has the side bars. So I loaded up the groceries, left them on the curb, went and parked the car, got Bentley out walked back to the building where a man helped me pull the cart inside. Then what?!?! Well, I decided I would put Ben on the cart too...and his carseat happened to fit! Then I brought the cart up, unloaded the groceries, and took Bentley and the cart back down to the lobby and then back up to put the groceries away. Craziness!
Anyway, life in Detroit is good. :) Pray for us to find a place to live in June. Looks like we'll be living with Chris and Leigh and maybe Micah....we'll see what happens in the next few months! God is doing some cool stuff! Anyway, here's a link to some more random pics: http://picasaweb.google.com/Adriennelynne82/20090127Jan2009#
Anyway, life in Detroit is good. :) Pray for us to find a place to live in June. Looks like we'll be living with Chris and Leigh and maybe Micah....we'll see what happens in the next few months! God is doing some cool stuff! Anyway, here's a link to some more random pics: http://picasaweb.google.com/Adriennelynne82/20090127Jan2009#
1.07.2009
So I know a lot of you don't have any idea what Detroit is actually like. I do plan on taking a lot of pictures of Detroit while we live here. I am not very good at that kind of photography (I'd rather do people), but it will be a good opportunity to work on it. I also hope to do some video. When David brought me to Detroit in May of 2007 I had NO idea what I was about to see. I just remember crying. I found this video on youtube that shows only the skyskrapers that have been abandoned....I hope to get some neighborhood pics up soon. The idea of the video is to show you that these buildings are downtown...they aren't off in some part of town...they are EVERYWHERE...and next door might be a highrise selling condos for $250,000-1,000,000. Seriously. Who is going to invest in that?
So anyway, here's the video...it's sort of long, but you'll get the idea after a minute or two.
12.30.2008
12.23.2008
12.21.2008
Andrea's letter
So my friend, Andrea, did a letter too. (If you don't know what I am talking about, read the previous blog!)
And she said I could share it with you. :)
Dear Mother,
I think back to the day I became a mother...August 24, 2006. I got the call in the afternoon from a Child Protective Services Investigator. We didn't receive much information...a 9 month-old baby girl who needed us. We didn't even know what size of diapers or clothes she would need, what foods she was used to eating, her routine, or most importantly what she would need to comfort her after experiencing the removal from her family. The next few days were rocky...she cried herself to sleep in this stranger's arms. But in a few days or a week, after the shock wore off, we were no longer strangers and she began smiling and engaging in life. What I am glad I didn't know then (that I do know now), is how much I would fall in love with that little girl and how much it would hurt and break my heart to let her go. She stayed so long...almost 2 years of her life; 2 birthdays, 2 Christmases, etc. We are still adjusting to life without her now.
As a mom, I had to learn to give this little one hope and strength where I felt I had none. When we talked of her leaving to return to her bio-parents, we did so in positive terms, even if we had fears. We prayed with her telling her that we had complete faith in God to heal her family and help her through her losses of this family when she returned, though we looked at God and wondered if we really believed what we were praying for. But I was able to tell her complete truths that I will never waiver on...'we will always love you', 'we will always pray for you and your family', 'we will always be here if you need us'. And I learned to be vulnerable thanks to our first little girl. I admitted when I was wrong, I cried when I was sad, I let the grief and loss hit me and make me softer and more nurturing. And I believe these were good lessons for her to carry home with her. She returned to her bio-parents on May 8, 2008.
We had arrived at this kind of parenthood because of our infertility. God blessed us with a forever child, Ellie, on April 14, 2007. I got to see her ultrasound with her birth mother two days prior to her birth. We were at her delivery and got to see her beautiful entry into this world. We held her, fed her, and stayed with her in the hospital. Ellie taught me how to bond to her as she looked to me to be her mommy...I had become fearful during the foster care process of raising our first little girl. It took my husband pointing out how much Ellie responded to me, looked for me, etc. for me to decide I better get on board with bonding and become her mommy. Today, I can't imagine having more fun as a mom than I do day to day with Ellie. I can't imagine being any closer to a child if I had birthed her myself; adoption taught me that motherhood is more than the biological aspects of conceiving and birthing a child.
Motherhood has also taught me to be thankful for my infertility. Without it, I would never have had the chance to be a mommy to two beautiful little girls. Two daughters, who needed us, specifically us, for what we could teach them. And we needed them for what they had to teach us. Recently I had abdomen surgery to repair some issues that were causing pain. Following that surgery, the doctor told my husband that he didn't see any reason why we shouldn't be able to get pregnant. Now, we are in the waiting stage to see if God really, truly has pregnancy as part of the plan for our lives. I look forward to experiencing motherhood in that way too.
Motherhood is a tough job. It is joyful but also breaks our hearts as we sacrifice for them. We must bond and attach to our babies, but let go too quickly so that they can learn how to conquer the world in their way. I have worked many exciting jobs from a CPS investigator, adoption specialist, reuniting those in closed adoptions, etc., but I would never trade this job of being a mommy for anything.
With Love,
Mommy Andrea
And she said I could share it with you. :)
Dear Mother,
I think back to the day I became a mother...August 24, 2006. I got the call in the afternoon from a Child Protective Services Investigator. We didn't receive much information...a 9 month-old baby girl who needed us. We didn't even know what size of diapers or clothes she would need, what foods she was used to eating, her routine, or most importantly what she would need to comfort her after experiencing the removal from her family. The next few days were rocky...she cried herself to sleep in this stranger's arms. But in a few days or a week, after the shock wore off, we were no longer strangers and she began smiling and engaging in life. What I am glad I didn't know then (that I do know now), is how much I would fall in love with that little girl and how much it would hurt and break my heart to let her go. She stayed so long...almost 2 years of her life; 2 birthdays, 2 Christmases, etc. We are still adjusting to life without her now.
As a mom, I had to learn to give this little one hope and strength where I felt I had none. When we talked of her leaving to return to her bio-parents, we did so in positive terms, even if we had fears. We prayed with her telling her that we had complete faith in God to heal her family and help her through her losses of this family when she returned, though we looked at God and wondered if we really believed what we were praying for. But I was able to tell her complete truths that I will never waiver on...'we will always love you', 'we will always pray for you and your family', 'we will always be here if you need us'. And I learned to be vulnerable thanks to our first little girl. I admitted when I was wrong, I cried when I was sad, I let the grief and loss hit me and make me softer and more nurturing. And I believe these were good lessons for her to carry home with her. She returned to her bio-parents on May 8, 2008.
We had arrived at this kind of parenthood because of our infertility. God blessed us with a forever child, Ellie, on April 14, 2007. I got to see her ultrasound with her birth mother two days prior to her birth. We were at her delivery and got to see her beautiful entry into this world. We held her, fed her, and stayed with her in the hospital. Ellie taught me how to bond to her as she looked to me to be her mommy...I had become fearful during the foster care process of raising our first little girl. It took my husband pointing out how much Ellie responded to me, looked for me, etc. for me to decide I better get on board with bonding and become her mommy. Today, I can't imagine having more fun as a mom than I do day to day with Ellie. I can't imagine being any closer to a child if I had birthed her myself; adoption taught me that motherhood is more than the biological aspects of conceiving and birthing a child.
Motherhood has also taught me to be thankful for my infertility. Without it, I would never have had the chance to be a mommy to two beautiful little girls. Two daughters, who needed us, specifically us, for what we could teach them. And we needed them for what they had to teach us. Recently I had abdomen surgery to repair some issues that were causing pain. Following that surgery, the doctor told my husband that he didn't see any reason why we shouldn't be able to get pregnant. Now, we are in the waiting stage to see if God really, truly has pregnancy as part of the plan for our lives. I look forward to experiencing motherhood in that way too.
Motherhood is a tough job. It is joyful but also breaks our hearts as we sacrifice for them. We must bond and attach to our babies, but let go too quickly so that they can learn how to conquer the world in their way. I have worked many exciting jobs from a CPS investigator, adoption specialist, reuniting those in closed adoptions, etc., but I would never trade this job of being a mommy for anything.
With Love,
Mommy Andrea
12.20.2008
for the mothers out there...
So I have been reading the blog from that family with the trisomy 18 baby...the 99 balloons video I posted awhile ago...and I just came across this on their blog. You have to get your letter out like SOON so if you're gona do it...now's your chance!!!
To get more instructions go to the link at the bottom of this post. :)
A shout out to the mothers…
I want to make you aware of something that I think is pretty cool. A husband (who will remain anonymous) is doing something really cool for his wife for Christmas. You can read all the details here.
Basically, out of an agreed conviction from his family that they will not spend money on Christmas this year, rather, they plan to set the amount of money they would have spent aside and give it away. Thus, this means that gifts are required to not cost him money.
He is asking for mothers to write a letter to another mother. He is gathering all of these letters and giving them as a gift to his wife (if you participate, he will give you the end product as well).
Here’s the thing. What will make this project special is mothers who are willing to be gut-level honest in their assessment of motherhood as they know it. The more honest, the better. I don’t do this often…OK, never. But I am asking you to do a couple of things:
1.) Spread the word…Tell the moms in your world to participate (e-mails, blogs, etc.) This really only works if the word is spread.
2.) Write a letter….I think the process of doing this for mothers is the appeal. Anything that forces you to think back and reflect on what you have gathered along the way, is a good thing. And we have been witness to the fact that your own story- when told- can allow others to believe that their world is not as lonely as they once thought.
OK, enough car salesman, go do it.
http://www.motherletter.blogspot.com/
Oh and here's my letter:
(I didn't have a lot of time...this is what I could think of in an hour...)
December 2008
Dear Mother,
I feel quite inadequate to write a letter to you because I am young and inexperienced. However, my selfish desire to receive the letters and read the wisdom and encouraging words that will accompany them, trumps my feelings of inadequacy. I am honored to be part of this project and am truly anticipating the Mother Letters.
My son, Bentley John was born August 14, 2008. His arrival was the greatest joy I have experienced. After a natural childbirth the doctor announced, “It’s a boy!” and placed his small body on my chest. He was quite blue and struggling to breathe, so they whisked him off to NICU to give him oxygen. My husband went with our small defenseless son and I stayed alone in the large, sterile room in silence. An hour passed and the neonatologist arrived, my husband at her side. “We think your son has Down syndrome,” she announced. I looked at my husband, who was smiling and nodding his head as if to say, “He’s fine, you’re fine, we’re fine.” I smiled. “Do you have any questions?” she asked. “When can I have my son?” An hour later he was wrapped up in my arms. I examined his perfect body… and thought to myself, “He does have Down syndrome, doesn’t he…”
Needless to say the beginning was quite difficult. Not in accepting his diagnosis, but in the tests…
His left ear failed the hearing test.
He has two heart defects.
He will need to be tested for hypothyroidism.
He may need a feeding tube.
He will need to start therapy right away.
My body ached for him to be healthy. For them to stop poking him, prodding him, and waking him. The never before “mother instinct” kicked in and I became his voice, his strength, his shield… Thankfully, I can now say he has a clean bill of health. That’s right, two working ears, a whole heart, a working thyroid, a large breastfeeding baby who is right on track with every other 4 month old!
I feel a connection to all mothers… mothers with children who have disabilities and mothers whose children are typical. I want the same things for my son that you do. I want to look out the window and see him running around the yard laughing and imagining a world that is fun and playful. I want to see him with slimy frogs and slithering snakes in his hands. I want to raise him to be honest, loyal, and above all, loving. I want him to love Jesus and love people…to be a voice for the voiceless and strong for the weak.
I am learning the great value of being in relationship with other mothers. I enjoy watching them interact with their children as they teach them values, boundaries, and love. I crave to be part of their joys and their pains. I think the greatest thing about motherhood is the internal connection. I have cried with mothers who have lost their babies to SIDS, foster mothers who let go of their “temporary” children, mothers who have miscarried, or felt like they were failing, and mothers whose only instinct is to cry in great awe of the life they have been given. I am honored to be part of the “Givers of Life” club…. The club we all signed up for when we either birthed our children or took in an orphan or foster child.
Just like you, Mother, I am overwhelmed with joy for my son. I am so thankful to be his mother, but I also have fears…fears that I won’t be good enough. I won’t love enough, be patient enough, or encourage enough. I fear that I will say hurtful things and have unnecessary anger. I fear I will deflate his spirit and damage his soul. I fear I will fail at being the one thing I want more than anything. The only reassurance I have is that I will raise a child who can forgive. Forgive me, forgive his father, and forgive a very painful, hurtful world.
I am so encouraged by your husband’s desire to unite Mothers with their stories of love, joy, pain, and sacrifice. I am grateful for his appreciation of all mothers and his recognition of the great connection we have with one another. I think this is a very heartfelt project that is inspiring women from around the country. I wait, with great anticipation, for the other letters… for the opportunity to read them, and save them in a drawer, to pull them out when I need words of encouragement, and strength.
Yes, dearest Mother, this is a special gift for you…a gift that can’t be bought or sold. It’s a gift from the heart. The gift of experience and truth. The gift of joy and pain. It’s a gift you’ll never forget, I am sure. And so on this special day of Christ’s birth, we are reminded of his life that gives us peace, joy, and the opportunity to love. May we be reminded of our blessings…remembering the privilege it is to have them, the opportunity to laugh and enjoy them, and the responsibility to raise and love them.
With great love and humility,
Adrienne Crawford
Detroit, MI
To get more instructions go to the link at the bottom of this post. :)
A shout out to the mothers…
I want to make you aware of something that I think is pretty cool. A husband (who will remain anonymous) is doing something really cool for his wife for Christmas. You can read all the details here.
Basically, out of an agreed conviction from his family that they will not spend money on Christmas this year, rather, they plan to set the amount of money they would have spent aside and give it away. Thus, this means that gifts are required to not cost him money.
He is asking for mothers to write a letter to another mother. He is gathering all of these letters and giving them as a gift to his wife (if you participate, he will give you the end product as well).
Here’s the thing. What will make this project special is mothers who are willing to be gut-level honest in their assessment of motherhood as they know it. The more honest, the better. I don’t do this often…OK, never. But I am asking you to do a couple of things:
1.) Spread the word…Tell the moms in your world to participate (e-mails, blogs, etc.) This really only works if the word is spread.
2.) Write a letter….I think the process of doing this for mothers is the appeal. Anything that forces you to think back and reflect on what you have gathered along the way, is a good thing. And we have been witness to the fact that your own story- when told- can allow others to believe that their world is not as lonely as they once thought.
OK, enough car salesman, go do it.
http://www.motherletter.blogspot.com/
Oh and here's my letter:
(I didn't have a lot of time...this is what I could think of in an hour...)
December 2008
Dear Mother,
I feel quite inadequate to write a letter to you because I am young and inexperienced. However, my selfish desire to receive the letters and read the wisdom and encouraging words that will accompany them, trumps my feelings of inadequacy. I am honored to be part of this project and am truly anticipating the Mother Letters.
My son, Bentley John was born August 14, 2008. His arrival was the greatest joy I have experienced. After a natural childbirth the doctor announced, “It’s a boy!” and placed his small body on my chest. He was quite blue and struggling to breathe, so they whisked him off to NICU to give him oxygen. My husband went with our small defenseless son and I stayed alone in the large, sterile room in silence. An hour passed and the neonatologist arrived, my husband at her side. “We think your son has Down syndrome,” she announced. I looked at my husband, who was smiling and nodding his head as if to say, “He’s fine, you’re fine, we’re fine.” I smiled. “Do you have any questions?” she asked. “When can I have my son?” An hour later he was wrapped up in my arms. I examined his perfect body… and thought to myself, “He does have Down syndrome, doesn’t he…”
Needless to say the beginning was quite difficult. Not in accepting his diagnosis, but in the tests…
His left ear failed the hearing test.
He has two heart defects.
He will need to be tested for hypothyroidism.
He may need a feeding tube.
He will need to start therapy right away.
My body ached for him to be healthy. For them to stop poking him, prodding him, and waking him. The never before “mother instinct” kicked in and I became his voice, his strength, his shield… Thankfully, I can now say he has a clean bill of health. That’s right, two working ears, a whole heart, a working thyroid, a large breastfeeding baby who is right on track with every other 4 month old!
I feel a connection to all mothers… mothers with children who have disabilities and mothers whose children are typical. I want the same things for my son that you do. I want to look out the window and see him running around the yard laughing and imagining a world that is fun and playful. I want to see him with slimy frogs and slithering snakes in his hands. I want to raise him to be honest, loyal, and above all, loving. I want him to love Jesus and love people…to be a voice for the voiceless and strong for the weak.
I am learning the great value of being in relationship with other mothers. I enjoy watching them interact with their children as they teach them values, boundaries, and love. I crave to be part of their joys and their pains. I think the greatest thing about motherhood is the internal connection. I have cried with mothers who have lost their babies to SIDS, foster mothers who let go of their “temporary” children, mothers who have miscarried, or felt like they were failing, and mothers whose only instinct is to cry in great awe of the life they have been given. I am honored to be part of the “Givers of Life” club…. The club we all signed up for when we either birthed our children or took in an orphan or foster child.
Just like you, Mother, I am overwhelmed with joy for my son. I am so thankful to be his mother, but I also have fears…fears that I won’t be good enough. I won’t love enough, be patient enough, or encourage enough. I fear that I will say hurtful things and have unnecessary anger. I fear I will deflate his spirit and damage his soul. I fear I will fail at being the one thing I want more than anything. The only reassurance I have is that I will raise a child who can forgive. Forgive me, forgive his father, and forgive a very painful, hurtful world.
I am so encouraged by your husband’s desire to unite Mothers with their stories of love, joy, pain, and sacrifice. I am grateful for his appreciation of all mothers and his recognition of the great connection we have with one another. I think this is a very heartfelt project that is inspiring women from around the country. I wait, with great anticipation, for the other letters… for the opportunity to read them, and save them in a drawer, to pull them out when I need words of encouragement, and strength.
Yes, dearest Mother, this is a special gift for you…a gift that can’t be bought or sold. It’s a gift from the heart. The gift of experience and truth. The gift of joy and pain. It’s a gift you’ll never forget, I am sure. And so on this special day of Christ’s birth, we are reminded of his life that gives us peace, joy, and the opportunity to love. May we be reminded of our blessings…remembering the privilege it is to have them, the opportunity to laugh and enjoy them, and the responsibility to raise and love them.
With great love and humility,
Adrienne Crawford
Detroit, MI
12.17.2008
Hope for Children
So if you click the title it will take you to an article in the NY Times about Obama's pledge for money for early education. (After you click the title, it takes you to an advertisement. In the upper right hand corner it says in tiny white letters, Skip Advertisement...click that and you will see the article). I am optimistic about this program. I totally agree with the benefits of starting earlier. I don't think children should have to pay for the mistakes their parents are making... so hopefully education will give all children the opportunity to end the cycles of poverty, addictions, abuse, etc...
What are your thoughts on this program?
So I guess I should add some background as to why I agree with publicly funding early childhood education. First, is my experience with Halie. All of you who knew her and loved her knew that she was a child in desperate need of lots of things...but definitely education was at the top of the list. It was so frustrating trying to find her a school that not only would DHS pay for, but that was even worth sending her to. The school we ended up sending her to did a lot of great things with her... but it was in definite need of better teachers and resources. I know when I was applying for a job here in A2 for a preschool they were offering me $7/hour. We needed more money. I think our children deserve more qualified teachers...people who are making more than $7/hour. I know there was an amazing preschool in Tucson the other foster moms raved about...but there was a 2 year waiting list... So guess who ends up there? Tell me, what poor and/or uneducated or single mom/dad is going to start looking for a preschool when the child is 1 or 2 years old?
My second experience with early childhood education has been with Bentley. What he receives here in Ann Arbor is nothing less than wonderful. They come to the house, they work with him, they train me, and we are all reaping the benefits. We are living in a very wealthy and intellectually stimulated community where education is a HIGH priority. It will be interesting what kinds of services Ben receives in Detroit. Maybe that is part of the reason God is leading us there....maybe I will get to help raise a voice of awareness for our children. (And I do feel some responsibility for all children... I guess that's why I have such a heart for foster children... )
I just think all children deserve a chance because they are children. They deserve our efforts and money to help build them a future. God has totally put this on my heart. First, with the child who burst through our doors with a bright smile and a desperate need for love and now with our amazing son child with Down syndrome.
What are your thoughts on this program?
So I guess I should add some background as to why I agree with publicly funding early childhood education. First, is my experience with Halie. All of you who knew her and loved her knew that she was a child in desperate need of lots of things...but definitely education was at the top of the list. It was so frustrating trying to find her a school that not only would DHS pay for, but that was even worth sending her to. The school we ended up sending her to did a lot of great things with her... but it was in definite need of better teachers and resources. I know when I was applying for a job here in A2 for a preschool they were offering me $7/hour. We needed more money. I think our children deserve more qualified teachers...people who are making more than $7/hour. I know there was an amazing preschool in Tucson the other foster moms raved about...but there was a 2 year waiting list... So guess who ends up there? Tell me, what poor and/or uneducated or single mom/dad is going to start looking for a preschool when the child is 1 or 2 years old?
My second experience with early childhood education has been with Bentley. What he receives here in Ann Arbor is nothing less than wonderful. They come to the house, they work with him, they train me, and we are all reaping the benefits. We are living in a very wealthy and intellectually stimulated community where education is a HIGH priority. It will be interesting what kinds of services Ben receives in Detroit. Maybe that is part of the reason God is leading us there....maybe I will get to help raise a voice of awareness for our children. (And I do feel some responsibility for all children... I guess that's why I have such a heart for foster children... )
I just think all children deserve a chance because they are children. They deserve our efforts and money to help build them a future. God has totally put this on my heart. First, with the child who burst through our doors with a bright smile and a desperate need for love and now with our amazing son child with Down syndrome.
12.12.2008
Real quick update
I realized after I posted the pictures of our new apartment in Detroit, I failed to tell you all our new plans! Most of you know this, I think.
So we are moving in with our friend Scott. He has this place downtown and his roommate moved out. So we are subletting from him. So basically we are just taking our beds, clothes, and things for Bentley....we'll be here for 6 months and then we are going to figure out what we'll do next. A lot of depends on where David is placed for his 3rd year rotations. He is hoping for Detroit Medical Center or for Henry Ford Hospital as they would offer him the most diverse experiences. We'll see what God has for us. :) So after the 6 months we'll have some decisions to make...sell the condo? Rent the condo? Live with people in a house? Get an apartment? As you know, Detroit isn't exactly the safest city...in fact it has been rated the most dangerous...and if GM and Chrysler go under before the end of the year it may become much more impoverished and dangerous. (Pray for a miracle). So we do need to be wise about our decision on where to live downtown.
I am getting excited to move down there. I'm actually not scared and I am looking forward to the change...plus having David so close will be soooo great.
So yeah, enjoy the pics!
So we are moving in with our friend Scott. He has this place downtown and his roommate moved out. So we are subletting from him. So basically we are just taking our beds, clothes, and things for Bentley....we'll be here for 6 months and then we are going to figure out what we'll do next. A lot of depends on where David is placed for his 3rd year rotations. He is hoping for Detroit Medical Center or for Henry Ford Hospital as they would offer him the most diverse experiences. We'll see what God has for us. :) So after the 6 months we'll have some decisions to make...sell the condo? Rent the condo? Live with people in a house? Get an apartment? As you know, Detroit isn't exactly the safest city...in fact it has been rated the most dangerous...and if GM and Chrysler go under before the end of the year it may become much more impoverished and dangerous. (Pray for a miracle). So we do need to be wise about our decision on where to live downtown.
I am getting excited to move down there. I'm actually not scared and I am looking forward to the change...plus having David so close will be soooo great.
So yeah, enjoy the pics!
our new place part 2
So that building you see straight down is the grocery store! Not bad, eh!?! I will do most shopping at the Eastern Market...but for canned goods I can go there.
Here are our bedroom windows.
So next time I will take more pictures of the building and the apartment.... I just LOVE these AMAZING windows...they bring in soooooooooooo much light!
Our new apartment!
This is a view of the living room...the windows on the left look out the eastside of Detroit and the ones straight ahead look out over the River.
href='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf2H-6y1lclbHYk7cedPFwelmMRU5D0iwrIGYB7FDWYC015gyUqLtuazr8PRk3kGMrSp0NPOfPEbyt5IIXd95IoD4AyveKA2jhxH-Vh9ON_4wSLvyBdcg8Vb3HhWDgAffQ5o2q/s1600-h/IMG_0012.JPG'>
Here you can sort of see downtown Detroit.
11.25.2008
11.24.2008
2 amazing videos
I usually like to spread out cool things to watch...but I am going to post 2 amazing youtube videos. :) Obviously I get more alerts to these types of videos now... but I really enjoy watching them. These two cases are totally different than ours...One is a trisomy 18 baby...if they make it to birth, they don't live past a year. And the other is a combination. Anyway, I just think that the kids are amazing.
11.23.2008
Christmas list
So I better not break tradition. :)
http://www.rei.com/product/767663?storeId=8001&catalogId=40000008001
It's been hard for me to make a list this year. I have all I ever wanted....Bentley!
But I always like scarves, mittens, hats, etc...
And here is a website for a backpack I could really use. (I want to use it as a diaper bag because when we move to Detroit we'll be on the 12th floor and so I need something that is easy to carry whenever I leave the house.)
http://www.rei.com/product/767663?storeId=8001&catalogId=40000008001
(Just copy and paste the link to see it).
I gave Mom and Dad a list too...so you can ask Mom what I emailed her.
Mark and Jane, post your lists too!
11.18.2008
So I hope to update more on the daily life here in Ann Arbor. I've found the biggest struggle is keeping in touch with friends far away. It is hard being 2-3 hours off from everyone, and our evenings are quite full, leaving the days....when everyone is working... and then on top of it I have Bentley. So anyway, I feel quite bad that I have been so out of touch with so many friends. So if you're reading this...know I do love and think of you often. (You know who you are!)
It's a beautiful day here in Ann Arbor. The sky is quite blue and it's about 25 degrees right now. It isn't the cold that I hate about Michigan...it's the grey. We have had grey skies for like a week...so the bright beautiful sun makes everything so much better! Ben and I took an hour walk this morning after spending time with Marcheta. I love taking him to her house. She loves holding him and just sits there talking to him. He enjoys all of the attention! Last night we brought dinner to Dale and Julie again. It has been so great. She has been on bed rest for 5 weeks so our Bible Study has been providing food on Monday nights. There's usually around 10 of us all huddled around their table. I love enjoying food with friends. She gets off bed rest on Thursday because she'll be 38 weeks (full term)...but we hope to continue the meals with them.
Ben is really growing. He's able to find his left thumb...usually after several tries! He rolls over when he's motivated enough to get off his belly. The therapists are quite impressed with his progress. They think he's ahead of even the normal babies. I know with him it will go up and down...so I will continually celebrate when he's up! I think having the therapists is such a God send. I have learned so much about the development of babies. I feel so well equipped for his brothers and sisters that we hope to have. He is such a good natured baby. He's happy to play by himself or have someone play with him. There are only a few things that makes him mad...
1. His hat- he hates having to get bundled up to go outside!
2. Being hungry....what can I say...the kid likes to eat! I understand. :)
3. Being wet...cloth diapers are the best because he lets us know when he's wet. I hope this helps the potty training process someday.
Other than that he's very happy doing whatever.
I've been catching up on movies because it's about all I can when I feed him...hey I am not complaining. I love movies! Yesterday I watched Atonement. It's quite sad...but I liked it. I thought the cinematography was quite well done.
Well, I better sign off for now....more later!
11.03.2008
So I went with the down syndrome support group a few weeks ago to the pumpkin patch and I forgot my camera! Thankfully, one of the mom's just forwarded me the picture of all the kids! The boy holding Ben doesn't have DS, but he is the big brother to the adorable blondy with glasses. :)
We had a great time and it was a special way for me to meet other moms and hear their stories.
11.02.2008
Ben the bean!
So it's been awhile since I have put on some pics. :) David and I have been very very busy. My aunt and cousin were in town this week...I am still waiting for cousin to send me the pics and then I'll post those. :) My dad was here too. And we had a birthing class reunion yesterday to meet the babies!
So here is the pic of us in late June.
And here we are with our instructor, and 4 beautiful babies: Logan, James, Bentley, and Lillian. (In order of birth not in the picture).
Ben is so loved!
The reunion of our birthing class...look at all those beautiful Mamas! And Isabelle (our instructor) holding Heather's son, Logan.
GRANDPA Johnny!!!!
Ben was a pea pod!
We love our sweet pea. :) Or you can call him the green ghost!
Thank you Aunt Jane and Uncle Mark for my hip outfit. I love it!
GO BLUE!
So here is the pic of us in late June.
And here we are with our instructor, and 4 beautiful babies: Logan, James, Bentley, and Lillian. (In order of birth not in the picture).
Ben is so loved!
The reunion of our birthing class...look at all those beautiful Mamas! And Isabelle (our instructor) holding Heather's son, Logan.
GRANDPA Johnny!!!!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
Ben was a pea pod!
We love our sweet pea. :) Or you can call him the green ghost!
Thank you Aunt Jane and Uncle Mark for my hip outfit. I love it!
GO BLUE!
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